Helen Boyd Kramer's journal on gender and stuff
Thank you so much, everyone, for the lovely birthday wishes and the lovely (de facto) birthday party. We had a wonderful time seeing a lot of old friends, new friends — fantastic people all.
It’s still hard to believe we’re 39. I really don’t think I ever expected to live this long. But now that I have, I suppose I should have a plan.
& For those who are wondering, no, we didn’t win the lottery. ha.
39. Shock & horror. It’s not possible I’m this old.
My mother was 39 when she gave birth to me, 39 years ago today. (Thanks mom.) I was her 6th child, and here I can barely manage three cats & a trans husband.
But at least Betty’s as old as me!
On the Task Force, named as Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Chair, we find Dr. Kenneth Zucker, from Toronto infamous Centre for Addictions and Mental Health (CAMH, formerly the Clarke Institute). Dr. Zucker is infamous for utilizing reparative therapy to Ccure gender-variant children. Named to his work group, we find Zuckers mentor, Dr. Ray Blanchard, Head of Clinical Sexology Services at CAMH and creator of the theory of autogynephilia, categorized as a paraphilia and defined as man paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman.
Also Dr Ann Lawrence, a supporter of his JUNK SCIENCE.. is understood to be in consideration as an alternate member.
We, the undersigned hereby object to their inclusion on this committee, and object to the hurtful theories they promote.
In order to have any credibility in the field of gender identity, the DSM must not include discounted theories or junk science. We ask that they be removed at once as members.
(Thanks to the 1000+ of you who have already signed.)
Have you all seen the recent Shur-Line commercial? With a woman from Shur-Line and a wife (I assume) who are trying to coax the husband out of hiding so that he’ll paint? It’s so condescending toward men; like they need to be told what to do and reassured that there won’t be any chores.
On the other side, it makes women responsible for making sure “all’s safe” for the guy to come out.
Idiotic & condescending to both genders: well-done.
A very very happy mother’s day to all the moms out there – including our own.
(& Please don’t wish me a happy mother’s day. I’m very proud of not being a mother.)
I was so happy to find this article on being a woman who is planning to marry a man who is deep in debt and who actually called off the wedding – at least temporarily – until he got this finances in order. It’s an issue no one ever talks about – debt in general, & money in relationships too. I’ve seen money listed as one of the top five things a couple should make sure they agree about (the other four are having children, dealing with family, sex, and religion) before they get married. Historically women end up with a lower standard of living after divorce, for instance, than men do, despite all the jokes about how women “get rich” via divorce. Those with children, even moreso.
I’m waiting for her to outline how exactly he managed this 53% reduction in so short a time. It’s encouraging.
I’ve discovered that I do indeed sleep better – as does Betty – if I use a Breathe Right strip on my nose. I breathe better, so I sleep better, just like it’s supposed to work.
But using them has added some time to my morning ritual, as invariably the strip unsticks itself from my nose and re-applies itself elsewhere. Like under my chin, or on the back of my neck, or on my forearm. So now when I wake up I have to play “find the Breathe Right strip” before I go outside looking like a crazy person. Although I do foresee a day when I won’t really care, either, if there is a Breathe Right strip stuck to my forehead. Thank God Betty will be there to see me along when I full abandon myself to absent-minded professor.
This essay by Caillie Millner expresses a lot of Third Wave thinking and has a lot of valid points — especially that doing stuff rates a lot higher than talking. But as a tweener, an essay like this strikes me in two ways: (1) that these women couldn’t be doing things if it hadn’t been for the 2nd wave, because sometimes it’s hard to be aware of history. A woman, after all, wasn’t legally allowed to have a credit card in her own name 40 years ago, and (2) Geraldine Ferraro is an ass & always has been.
It’s like the 2nd wavers got used to having to shout & shout & shout just to get stuff changed so that women could just get things done, & forgot to stop shouting, & now the 3rd wavers don’t seem to be aware that the shouting had to happen in order to “just do it.â€
I’m on the old side for the Third Wave, and way too young to be a proper Second Waver. I feel like I bridge the waves – applauding the Third Wave for lots of cool stuff (multiculturalism, empowerment, financial acumen) and the Second (for having passed so many of the laws that make Third Wavers’ lives possible as they are). But I think they both have their downsides, too – the Third Wave gets a little too “everything a woman does empowers women” about stuff, and the Second Wave is just a little too white, & a little too privileged, especially lately.
So feh. Forget the waves & just call yourself a feminist.
John McCain has just opposed the Fair Pay Act, and suggested that women, perhaps, need more education and training.
Go to MoveOn.org and sign the petition, then, end them your resume so they can show John McCain exactly how much training and education we already have.