I’ve been asked two questions by MHB boarders:
1) Is Thursday chat still on?
YES. 9pm EST, Yahoo messenger. Donna usually starts chat if I’m not around to, but I’ll show up one way or the other.
2) Is the next in-person meeting of the group going to happen?
YES. 8pm, Tuesday, January 3rd, at the LGBT Center in Manhattan.
Peaceful Solstice
The moment of Winter Solstice occurs December 21, 2005, at 10:35 am Pacific Standard Time. At that moment, the northern tip of the Earth’s axis of rotation will be at its maximum tilt away from the Sun. Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, traditionally marking the beginning of winter. The length of daylight has been shrinking continuously since the end of June; it hits a minimum tomorrow, and thereafter will start increasing in length. For the next six months, the length of daylight will increase; in this way, the mystics say that the first day of winter is the first day of summer.
Have a peaceful, joyful solstice: the days of darkness are on their way out.
(Much thanks to Mike McGarry for the useful and timely information.)
Five Questions With… Vanessa Edwards Foster
Vanessa Edwards Foster is the board chair of
NTAC (National Transgender Advocacy Coalition). A Houston-based activist, Foster is one of the people who lobbies the US Government every year on behalf of transgender people everywhere.
1. Why did you become an activist on trans issues?
Circumstances. Hormones took to me far too quickly, and I lost my job before I was ready to transition. This was back when I thought (having good natural features) that I’d have a seamless transition. It was the late 90s (greatest economy ever), and I was unemployed for nearly 21 months, so it was obvious what was happening. At the time, I led two other local groups and started thinking about what they were experiencing, and how bad it must’ve been for them. And I couldn’t interest anyone else in doing it for us, or for me. So I decided to bite the bullet and do what came unnaturally for me — political activism.
My heritage is heavily native, and my ancestors on all sides were part of the Trail of Tears, as it’s called. So I grew up like all of us were taught: we hate government, we hate politics and politicians (plastic people), we hate the manipulation, the deceit and the devotion to self-interest. Politics was the seamiest of trades, promises from them were made to be broken and any attempt to get involved politically was an exercise in futility and ultimate frustration. The only ones attracted to the political life were lusting for power and money. My parents initially thought me crazy to involve myself in this, then later seemed hopeful and proud of this actually making a difference. But as time went on, these last couple years have reaffirmed their warnings rather than disproved them. Politics, as it is today, is no savior. Quite the opposite.
Continue reading “Five Questions With… Vanessa Edwards Foster”
Request: Message Board Ideas
While the message boards are closed, I’m looking into new ways to organize the boards, see how others have done it. Since I’m sure some of you participate in other boards, do email me (or comment below) on what has worked for other boards you’ve been on.
That way, when and if they reopen, they will have gotten a face lift, some new parameters, and better governing principles/organization. (I also intend to be far less forgiving.)
So: let me know. I’ve already been looking at the boards at www.calpernia.com and www.crossdressers.com for ideas. Any others you could suggest would be welcome.
Loveseats and Us
It turns out the store owner was quite nice – and surprised – about the stinky loveseat, and his guys came to pick it up just moments ago. He told me it came to him upholstered, and then it was stored outside – so our joint guess is that once it was in a warm space, the stinkiness was released. And wow, did it smell. But we have a store credit and first dibs on any loveseats he gets in. Since we need a new lamp and other small things, I’m not worried about using that credit.
Of course, due to the Transit Strike, Betty is home today.
The Strike is On
Okay, well I’m impressed with Roger Toussaint. It strikes me that someone raised him to be very aware of exactly who he was named after.
NYC MTA Transit Strike is On?
At the very least, an awful lot of New Yorkers will be taking tomorrow off; a lot will also be stuck in traffic or walking long distances or waiting too long for cabs.
But I expect the Governor and Mayor will step in somehow and demand the striking workers get back on the job. Just my prediction, but Pataki especially is not labor-friendly (which he amply demonstrated with his recent veto of the minimum raise increase).
The official word hasn’t come in yet at 1:58am, but NY1 News is predicting it’ll come through shortly.
Withdrawal
Just so you know, folks, it’s a little like withdrawal not having the boards to moderate.
So today, instead, I was out running some errands, the Post Office (thanks for the Christmas cards, to those who sent them!) & the bank, & I see this small loveseat displayed at one of the antique stories nearby, part of their outdoor rack. It’s a place we’ve bought from reliably before; we even bought our chifforobe there. Anyway, it’s small enough for our living room, which is no mean feat, & I put $20 down on it while I run my other errands – and come back to schedule the delivery.
The delivery guys show up not long after with the thing wrapped in plastic, spend way too long getting it up the stairs. Finally, they get it into the apartment, and because they took so long, they practically run out the door when they’re done. So I unwrap the loveseat.
And it stinks of cat piss.
Now it’s in the hallway outside out apartment, and I’ve called the place to have them come get it.
Stay tuned.
"It is NOT normal for a person to have no sexual desire."
I found a few articles tonight about low male libido and low sex marriages and – for once! – some comments from wives who are living with husbands who have little to no interest in sex.
I thought this would be useful for all the wives out there who write to me about how their husbands never seduce them, who feel ugly or fat or rejected or not feminine enough because of it. We tend in the TG community to “blame” the transness for this stuff, but ladies – it’s not the transness. When you read these letters from wives, you’ll understand what I mean: they sound so much like yours.
There’s a list of possible causes for male low libido here.
There’s also some good advice for both people in a relationship plagued with low libido, but this one was the most appropriate, I thought, for the wives of CD/TGs.
Don’t blame yourself for his low libido. It has nothing to do with the way you look, or how much you weigh, or your sexual performance, etc.
…or how feminine you are or aren’t, I’d add. Words to live by, yes?
The Boards are Closed
Betty and I have shut down the boards for the time being because they’ve had a tone of nastiness that doesn’t seem to be going away – no matter how many times we suggest that people be a little more gentle with each other.
We don’t know how long they will stay closed, but we will certainly be taking this time to move them to our new host.
Thank you to everyone who has written in support of our decision, and/or with concerns about our own feelings on the matter. In some ways, this has been long overdue, and since I’m also in the middle of contract stuff for the next book, it’s quite good timing for me as I’ve got some big decisions to make.
Obviously, when they come back, I’ll post the news here first.
Thanks,
Helen & Betty