Year: 2013

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GLAADBT?

In all seriousness, this is why I went to the GLAAD Media Awards this year: their president announced that they will no longer use the actual words of the acronym because it doesn’t represent all the groups they are working for. They are just GLAAD now – the LGBT media advocacy organization.

Cool beans.

And can I just repeat for the 8 millionth time that I love Janet Mock? Mel Wymore was on the Melissa Harris Perry show, too, when they made this announcement, and I was happy to get to meet him that night as well – he’s the guy who is running for City Council on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in a hotly contested race.

Mostly, though, I have watched as GLAAD became more hip to trans issues over the past few years, and I’ve been happy to see it. So congrats to them and their name change, of course. And a word of advice? Trans community politics change fast, so keep up.

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Five Questions With… Zach Wahls

I was lucky enough to meet Zach Wahls at a recent fundraiser and awards gala for Fair Wisconsin. He gave such an amazing talk and was such a cool guy that I couldn’t help but ask him a few things.

Zach Wahls: My Two Moms(And how can you not love the adorable cover of his book? It’s good, too. )

1)      You are sometimes referred to as an “ally” of the larger LGBTQ communities but I don’t think you see yourself that way. Can you talk a little about what it means for you to be called an ally as opposed to being a community member?

I’m most often referred to as a “straight ally” by both the public and members of the LGBTQ community. And that’s usually fine, I don’t correct people or feel that it’s necessary for me to do so. But personally, I don’t feel as though I’m truly an “ally” because, in my mind, I’m a member of the LGBTQ community even though I’m not, personally, LGBTQ-identified. I know that the last thing any of us want to do is add another letter to the acronym, but the reality is that I do feel as though I’m a member of the community. Like LGBTQ people, I was born into this community. Like LGBTQ people, I have felt the shame and humiliation of being in the closet. Like LGBTQ people, I am regularly stigmatized by those who oppose LGBTQ rights as inferior, defective and sinful. The parallels are not perfect, of course, but as a community, we need to figure out a way to create spaces and community for those of us who have grown up with queer parents. So, to be clear, it’s not that I’m LGBTQ-identified, but that I feel the LGBTQ community includes its children, and that, to the extent that that’s true, kids like me are a part of the community. Continue reading “Five Questions With… Zach Wahls”

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Which State?

So you can take a quiz about LGBT issues to find out what state you should live in. I took it, and said Yes to all of them, and rated them all a 5, or “Very Important”.

And here’s what’s interesting. When it came to where I should live based on my beliefs, the Top 5 goes like this:

  1. D.C.
  2. Washington (state)
  3. Iowa
  4. New York
  5. California

So first off, I love that Iowa’s on there, because no other midwestern state shows up until #9 (Illinois) but then not again until #20, which is … Wisconsin.

And believe me, this state’s laws are nothing near what I believe should be the case – we’ve got a super DOMA in place, after all – so there must be a huge drop-off somewhere.

Please let the SCUS come through. Pretty please.

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Local Elections: Sarah Garb

My friend Sarah Gab is running for City Council here in Appleton, and she’s amazing – a new cool voice for the city, a lawyer, a mom, a Wisconsin native. Since most of you reading can’t vote for her – although I’m sure you would if you could – she could use some donations to keep her campaign afloat, as she’s up against an umpteen-year incumbent.

If you’re out of town and want to make a donation, you can donate to me via PayPal as she’s only accepting checks at this time.

Really: we need another council member here who’s looking to the future & not the past. Really, really, really.

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Stomach Ease Tea

This is not something I do often, or lightly, but having just been through a round of some stomach bug or flu, I’ve been drinking a lot of stomach ease tea, by Yogi Teas, and I swear by the stuff. It’s a miracle as far as I’m concerned.

Really, just try it if you’re one of those people with a fluttery stomach – from stress, indigestion, hangover, whatever.

It makes you feel like a person again. If you can’t find it near you, you can buy it on Amazon.

And no, this is not a paid blog post, but a genuine article product endorsement. It tastes good, too.

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“Goes Without Saying”

It’s been a while since I’ve griped about the petty bullshit involved in being the partner of a trans person, hasn’t it? I recently posted a photo of me and my wife at the GLAAD awards, and many, many people have said lovely things about how we both look, which we’ve both appreciated. But I did notice – how could I not? – a pretty common refrain that goes something like this: “Your wife looks amazing and of course you do too” or, alternately, “your wife looks great and it goes without saying that you do too.”

And you know what? Actually, it doesn’t. I understand the need for people to validate a trans woman’s attractiveness. I really do. But when (1) you married a man who is no longer a man, and/or (2) you’re in your 40s, and/or (3) you’re not a size 4, and/or (4) people consistently think that trans bodies are somehow publicly owned and so can and should be regularly commented on, it gets a little tiring to hear how remarkably gorgeous my wife is. I mean, I know that. I live with her and see her every day. I’m the one she shares makeup with, and hair products, and pajamas, so yes, I’m aware she’s a hottie, and a gender normative hottie at that.

So what I want to ask you married people: is it common for people to come up and tell you that your husband or wife is attractive? That they’d do them? That their first sighting of your spouse made them wonder if your spouse was single? I mean, is this a normal thing, or is this somehow part of the trans validation thing, or do I just have the bad luck of running into a lot of people who are wildly inappropriate?

My guess is that it’s a trans validation thing. Because I can’t imagine walking up to a woman whose husband was attractive and saying any of these things. I can’t imagine saying it to a woman whose wife is hot. I really can’t. And maybe that’s me, my usual unflirtatious self, but I find it disturbing that people constantly feel the need to tell me that my wife is a hot prospect.

Continue reading ““Goes Without Saying””

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RIP Lucy Meadows

What a terrifically sad story:  Lucy Meadows transitions and is supported by her school and community but then excoriated and hounded by the press because of her transition.

She has since committed suicide, it’s reported.

This has to stop. There’s a petition to get the journalist fired who said all this crap about her – regendering her with male pronouns like the class act he is – and I don’t know if that’s a good idea or not but something’s got to give. I won’t like his hateful, transphobic screed.

She didn’t deserve this.

It’s especially sad to read this after just having attended the GLAAD Media Awards – which covers only the US but which has renewed its mission for trans people and coverage. But in the UK, do check out Trans Media Watch.

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Really, Smith?

Hey, Smith alumnae – call out your alma mater, would you? They’ve returned a young trans woman’s application because she is not yet legally recognized as female by the state of CT (where it is possible to get your gender marker changed without genital surgery). The issue may be her birth certificate, as those often require proof of genital surgery before gender markers will be changed.

Feh, Smith. You could do better. If you want to be inclusive of trans people, and not just trans men, then you need to understand the situation most young trans women are in.