The other day on our boards someone mentioned how everyone saw her former partner as “an FTM in denial.” I don’t like that. No, more than that, I can’t stand it.
I find it especially frustrating coming from anyone trans, since trans people are so often referred to as being “really” their gender-assigned-at-birth instead of their target gender, or they’re seen as “really” homosexual, etc.
But what bothers me about it is that it’s know-it-all laced, clever, condescending. The idea of knowing someone else’s gender identity/sexual orientation (since the whole “He’s really a closet case,” is one I hear a lot, and always have) better than they do themselves is just aggrravating to me.
& I think it’s mostly mean-spirited. Not everyone is – some are sympathetic, or bemused, especially when they themselves struggled with bringing a subterranean identity to light for a long time – but I think it quickly turns to gossip and cattiness.
Just say no. The next time you hear someone do it, object. People are so quick to judge, and sometimes I think they should spend a little more time looking at their own shit than calling someone else on theirs.