David Foster Wallace Ad Absurdum*

Tom Scocca’s piece in The New York Observer on the Frey hoo-ha might be overstating the case, but this bit of parody made me laugh really hard:
Fine. Then comes the opening sentence: “On my first day in jail, a three hundred pound man named Porterhouse hit me in the back of the head with a metal tray.”
In other words: “On my first day in jail*, a three hundred pound man** named Porterhouse*** hit me in the back of the head**** with a metal tray*****.”
*The author never went to jail.
**Weight is an estimate; also the author, not being in jail, never met such a person.
***Not his real name; also the author never met such a person.
****Because the author’s head was not present in jail, such a blow did not actually land.
***** The composition of the tray is a guess, because the author did not actually get hit by it, because the author was never in jail.
Thanks to GalleyCat for pointing out this passage in particular & the article in general, while simultaneously pointing out that JT LeRoy’s sales figures actually increased last week as a result of the fracas, proving once again that sometimes, bad publicity is still publicity.
* David Foster Wallace has nothing to do with this controversy; he’s just famous for excessive footnoting in his writing, in a postmodern kind of way.