Yesterday we went to a party, thrown by a friend who is TG for his wife’s birthday, and at some point people started telling stories about how a groom or bride went missing at a wedding – in this case, it was because the bride was fixing the headpiece for the cake. At our wedding, Betty went missing to go “hang out with” her best man for a while, and I sat there for a bit, trying to figure out in my head how I could say that, & then realized this group knew Betty was trans anyway, so I just told the story with the “best man” bit in.
But I had a moment where I thought: what do you do with stories like that? Just resist telling them? Re-gender them (so that “she was hanging out with her maid of honor”?) The whole event made me kind of sad, because after we brought it up we ended up doing Trans 101, which is not the worst thing in the world, but we really didn’t feel like it (because sometimes even we want to just be normal folks who go to parties to eat & drink & talk & tell stories).
& I woke up this morning thinking: this is what I hate about transness.
Too Many
The other day I was seeking out my copy of Hirschfeld’s Transvestites in order to footnote something about his Theory of Intermediaries, and while pulling, I ended up with Kate Bornstein, Virginia Prince, and Judith Butler on my head.
Sitting there having been bonked in the head by one and having had another fall on my foot, I decided I have way too many books about gender.
But doesn’t everyone?
At least it wasn’t the Hirschfield that fell; now that book would hurt.
Speaking of Femmes
I went to a French brasserie, or cafe, or whatever you’d call a little French-inspired Parisian-decor’d restaurant in Park Slope, with Betty and Donna and Caprice before the Joan Jett show. I excused myself to go to the ladies’ room, and unconsciously read the signs for which one to enter. FEMMES, said one.
And I swear, for a split second I was sure the other one would say BUTCHES.
(I have been reading, and very much enjoying, The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader.)
Butch Purse?
In a great piece called Butches, Lies, and Feminism by Jeanne Cordova out of The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader, this story of a butch purse:
I punched my black leather purse into a tighter pillow underneath my head. My purse, whom I lovingly called ‘my yin chromosome,’ had been with me through nearly two decades of the lesbian civil wars. She’d been the butt of much harassment by lesbian-feminists and stone butches who didn’t understand the difference between a butch purse and a femme purse. A butch purse is an only child. Femmes have as many purses as shoes.
I laughed really really hard when I read that, as Betty has more bags and purses stuck into nooks in closets and cabinets and drawers than I can imagine owning in a lifetime. I occasionally go around and with the largest in hand, shove a bunch of the smaller ones into it – one bag-eating bag, as it were. And yes, you guessed it: I have one bag I use daily. I occasionally switch off to a larger bag for when I’m editing a ms, and sometimes I use a tiny pouch of a bag, like when I’m going to a club and don’t want to have to check a larger bag. But mostly I use a bag until it falls apart, and then I go find a new one. If repairs can’t be made, that is.
Gianna Israel Memorial Service
Max Valerio is holding a memorial service in honor of Gianna Israel, and he’s posted an evite invitation with all the details, and so that people can volunteer to help, donate funds, or just RSVP.
Study: Aeneas, Part 2
Another super close-up of my handsome boy.
Aeneas’ left ear, for your amusement (but not his).
17-25 Things You Can Do
I’d been cross-posting NCTE’s 52 Things You Can Do For Transgender Equality, but the numbers started to get a little screwy & then I plumb forgot.
So, for the end of pride month, here’s #s 17 – 25!!
#17: March as a trans contingent in the Gay Pride Parade
#18: Educate a local homeless shelter about how to be trans inclusive
#19: Pass a non-discrimination ordinance in your community
#20: Visit the offices of your congressional representative and educate them about trans issues
#21: Start a local support or education group
#22: Volunteer with an LGBT Advocacy group
#23: Start a Speakers’ Bureau
#24: Break a Gender Rule
#25: Make a Restroom More Accessible to Trans People
You can see the whole list at NCTE’s site, of course.
At the Corner of Turk & Taylor
A memorial plaque commemorating the 40th anniversary of the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot will be installed at Noon this Thursday, June 22nd, at the corner of San Francisco’s Turk and Taylor Streets. The 1966 riot was the first known instance of transgender resistanceto police harassment in the U.S.
Jamison Green, Leslie Feinberg, Mara Keisling and Susan Stryker will all speak.
I wish I could be there.
Check this news item for more information about the Compton Cafeteria Riots, and thanks to Donna T for posting the news.
Five Questions With… Cynthia Majors
Cynthia Majors was born and raised in Teaneck New Jersey. She graduated from Teaneck High School in 1970 and Bergen Community College with a BA in 1972. She and her wife Sharla were married in Sept of 1983 and still live in Teaneck. Cynthia has been a member of Chi Delta Mu Chapter of Tri-Ess for about 10 years and is now serving as President for the second time. Besides being an active amateur drag performer Cynthia is also a member of a Drag Performance group called Flavah which has been a regular in the NYC Pride Parade for the last several years . Their photos have appeared in the NY Daily News and the front page of AM New York. In addition Cynthia has been interviewed on both WPLJ and WINS Radio on several TG issues.
1) You were President of CDM and then you weren’t and now you are again: did you take a break or are you feeling reluctant about leading CDM?
To put it frankly, I took a break. I felt that I was getting in over my head because I was trying to do everything myself and it just wasn’t working. I had gone into being President with what I had thought were some very good ideas but when things didn’t work out the way I had hoped I became frustrated and I think it had a very adverse effect on how I handled myself and the group. When election time came around again I had no interest in continuing as President. Now. a little older and a lot wiser, I’ve opted to try it again for several reasons. First I now have a great team working with me. My wife Sharla is the Treasurer and Linda Mills is my VP. I’ve finally learned that things need to be delegated or you burn out-not an easy lesson for a Type A personality to take in.
Continue reading “Five Questions With… Cynthia Majors”
Here Comes the Summer.
Summer begins today at 7:26 am EDT – the moment this post goes up.