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10 Years Ago Today…

… I put on a dark green leather jacket and my favorite pair of trousers and, with a copy of The Sun Also Rises in my bookbag, I went to my friend Peter Dee’s apartment where he was hosting a monthly reading group I’d started with a friend a few years before.

Unbeknownst to me, Peter had invited this actor who’d been living upstate who’d recently moved to NY with the intention of working at a repertory theatre and exploring his gender stuff.

The rest, as they say, is history.

(Happy Anniversary, beautiful!)

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The Trip to SC Pt. 1

This one, on the way down to Spartanburg:

9 april – With only 45 minutes left of charge on my laptop, and having been assigned to an Amtrak car with no power outlets, I thought I’d take a minute to say: it’s nice to take a train down south in spring. Things have gradually gotten a little greener, a little brighter – from the first new greens on a weeping willow I saw in Elizabeth to the bright green buds on everything just south of Philly (which is about where I am now). I played Sims for a while – what better use of limited battery power? – and I will otherwise mostly read and listen to music; at 7PM, I eat dinner. I even have a reservation.

I arrive in Spartanburg about 4am; it’s about 4pm now. Apparently we get to Manassus at 7:22, as a lady who just called her sons who are going to pick her up there then. Really, I love cellphones on trains.

We must be approaching Wilmington; things are looking awfully financial. I think my interest rates built at least one of these buildings.

(A lot more to come on the trip to SC.)

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My Husband Jackie

A NY Times article about Jackie Warner – and the myriad housewives who have crushes on her – leaves out one explanation for what’s going on: women are starting to see good “husband material” in other women. Warner is the perfect case in point: she is physically strong, financially independent, able to hold her own in the business world and manage her own company… which all adds up to her being what my aunts would have called “a good catch.” The only caveat is that she’s a woman.

To me it’s a weird intersection of eras and values: a generation of women who still believe in “the good catch” but who are open-minded enough to begin to view a woman in the way that women traditionally only ever saw men.

Honestly, I think women are now only beginning to glimpse what equality might actually be like. If we continue to de-gender things like physical power, financial power, caretaking, family leadership, ambition and confidence, the whole heterosexual paradigm might find itself on its head, which is a very heady idea indeed.

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TMI

I’ve just gotten back from South Carolina where I had a *great* time, and while I’m collecting my thoughts on the trip, I thought I’d bring your attention to my single favorite Dan Savage column, from a woman who feels the need to confess teenaged fun with the family pet(s).

If you’re gender dysphoric and have a partner who isn’t – and who is having a hard time with your gender stuff – please take notes while reading it.

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Sleeping Trans

So what do people who are stealth do about sleeping? Like what if you’re an older MTF and you talk in your sleep? Snore? Cough? Laugh?

I mean, isn’t it impossible not to use your deeper voice when you’re unconscious?

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Loves Panties, Tuna

Aeneas, too, appreciates some peace and separation from the rest of us. Though one has to be careful: one day I shut the drawer not realizing he was in there until – maybe 45 minutes later – Betty asked me why Aeneas kept meowing & wanted to know where exactly our noisy cat was.

Tada! He was in the panty drawer. & Yes, those are my panties, if you must know.