That’s great news.
This policy never, ever made any sense to me, so I’m glad they finally got rid of it.
A Few Questions With… Eleanor Hubbard
Eleanor Hubbard is the co-editor of the anthology Trans Kin: A Guide for Family and Friends of Transgender People< . I got the chance to ask her a few questions about the book.
1) What encouraged you to create this book?
Cameron (the other co-editor) is a former student of mine, and he studied the transgender literature in a guided study project under my direction. Although I knew a little about transgender issues through teaching Sex, Gender and Society for many years at the University of Colorado and I was already an ally of the GLBT community, this project helped me learn a great deal more. Then Cameron was my student in Qualitative Methods and Critical Thinking and wrote an honors thesis under my direction. After his graduation, we talked how we could continue to work together and actually started on a paper that would reflect what we were calling the gender spectrum at that time.
One time when we were together, I wish I could remember the exact date, Cameron said to me: “I found many books to read during my transition that were very helpful, but when my mom asked me for something to read that would help her, I couldn’t find anything.” I responded, “This is the book we were meant to write.”
As we started to collect stories, we were encouraged even more that this book needed to be available for SOFFAs! The stories were funny, poignant, inspirational, and most of all, heart-felt. Cam and I became the conduit through which more people could hear these stories.
2) What, in editing it, is the biggest surprise? What was the most expected?
The biggest surprise for me in reading and re-reading our book was how many differences and similarities, there were in the lives of SOFFAs and their Transgender loved ones. For instance, the experience of SOFFAs going through transition with their transgender spouse, family member or friend had some similarities with their trans loved one. SOFFAs often feel that they are put in the closet as their loved ones were coming out of the closet during their transition. Who to tell and when to tell about their trans son is a big concern for the parent just as it is was for their son. What pronouns to use? How to introduce their male spouse to people who knew her as a woman? How to explain what their friend was going through to family members? These are all questions that trans people deal with as well, but with a different slant.
Another surprise for me was how well many family members, spouses, and friends went through the transition and came out on the other side. I have had many transgender people tell me that their family and friends disowned them when they transitioned, but I was particularly moved by the story of the step-father who disagreed with his son’s transition, but still loved him and spent time with him when his wife, and the son’s mother, could not. But this is only one example of many in the book where SOFFAs find their own way through their transition while still loving and supporting their transgender loved ones.
Another surprise was how many SOFFAs were also priests, pastors, rabbis, and committed church and synagogue members. Allies within the church were particularly important for many transgender people who have been disenfranchised by their church community.
I brought many expectations to the book about SOFFAs, but every single one burst. I learned that my expectations were what got in the way of really hearing the stories of trans people and their SOFFAs.
3) In your opinion, what is the biggest misconception about the friends, family, and spouses of trans people?
The biggest misconception about SOFFAs is that they are different than us. Some SOFFAs can’t cope with their loved one’s transitioning, but many not only deal with it, but survive and thrive, just like the rest of us. SOFFAs have hopes and dreams for themselves and their trans loved ones, but they, just like the rest of us, learn to move through their expectations and love the person in front of them, not the person they wanted them to be. Some people cope with life-threatening illnesses in their friends, family and spouses. Many people worry about substance abuse or infertility or disability and continue to try to change the person rather than accept them for who they are. But because there are resources available to them and their own inner resilence, many people find their way through difficult times, just like SOFFAs do. We have much more in common than we have differences.
RIP Jeanne Manford, PFLAG Founder
PFLAG’s lovely tribute. I don’t think it’s hard to imagine that. Every day that is still difficult for parents to say. She was a good soul and a good parent then and now.
We should all hope to achieve the legacy of love she gave us.
CFP: Brotherhood is Powerful – Writings by Transsexual Men
CALL FOR PAPERS
Brotherhood is Powerful: An Anthology of Liberationist Writings by Transsexual Men
Editor: Zander Keig, MSW
Publisher: Transgress Press
We are now accepting submissions for the anthology, Brotherhood is Powerful: An Anthology of Liberationist Writings by Transsexual Men, edited by FTM community advocate and educator, Zander Keig.
Much has been written about transsexuals from an academic, medical and bureaucratic perspective. While this literature provides important information about transsexuals’ lives, it tends to also obscure and misinform as much as it reveals. This is because a lot of the literature is written by either non-transsexuals and/or focuses too narrowly and simplistically on reductionist and stereotypical topics of interest to a small minority of elite academics.
Transsexuals’ lives are far more complex, however, when seen through the lens of our lived experiences and physical and somatic embodiment. Feminism, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Gay Liberation Movement all taught us that the first step toward liberation is to challenge the norms that misrepresent and subjugate our experiences in service to a larger meta-narrative of gender and sexuality.
This book gives a platform for transsexual men to engage these discourses and shape the course of knowledge production about transsexuals, in an effort to counter the stories told about our lives, which serve to silence our identities, communities, and experiences.
Continue reading “CFP: Brotherhood is Powerful – Writings by Transsexual Men”
Baby Elephant Swim
I want to go back to SE Asia.
Beatie Complication
The Beaties were just trying to get divorced.
Thomas and Nancy Beatie are eager to end their nine-year marriage, but their divorce plans stalled when Maricopa County Family Court Judge Douglas Gerlach said in late June that he was unable to find any legal authority defining a man as someone who can give birth.
“Are we dealing with a same-sex marriage?” Gerlach asked. He noted Arizona has banned such marriages and refuses to accept those performed in other states. The judge added no court here is allowed to declare same-sex unions valid.
and
“What you have is a man and woman who are married, and their relationship is ending,” said Minter, who isn’t involved in the Beatie case. “And it’s no different, fundamentally, from other people in that circumstance.”
And Beatie, whom I’ve never been a gigantic fan of, redeems himself with this:
David Michael Cantor, one of Thomas Beatie’s attorneys, said it would be more financially favorable for his client if the marriage weren’t recognized by the courts, because Thomas could have to pay Nancy alimony. But Cantor said Thomas wants the divorce as an official recognition that their union was legitimate. “He loses money, but he wants to be told it’s valid,” Cantor said.
As a friend pointed out: it’s sad that he doesn’t want to pay alimony simply because it’s the right thing for a man to do in a sexist system, but at least he wants to see his marriage upheld as legitimate so as not to set a precedent (or rather, more precedent) that puts any other of our marriages at risk. Let’s hope he gets his way.
You can read the whole article here.
A Few Questions With… Miriam Hall
Miriam Hall is a partner of a trans person and a contributor to the book Trans Kin: A Guide for Family and Friends of Transgender People. She and I did a reading together for the Wisconsin Book Festival a few months ago at A Room of One’s Own Bookstore in Madison.
1) What encouraged you to create this book?
I always write about what is happening to me – it’s my way of understanding. When I met Dylan I was already writing about my own sexuality, and so writing about our combined sexuality and her gender fit right into what I was writing. When I saw a posting (I don’t remember where!) asking for writings for this anthology, I was excited to know I could put a bit of what I was doing somewhere. I am working on a longer memoir of which this is a part.
2) What, in reading it, is the biggest surprise? What was the most expected?
I was surprised at the large number of people who formerly dated trans people and their incredibly strong advocacy. There’s an unfortunate stereotype, not to mention fear, that people who leave trans folks do it only because they are trans. That they are all bitter or anti-trans. Being really close to someone – like living and sleeping with them – who is transitioning is quite a bit closer than being friends. It’s really intense and not easy – like a “regular” relationship, only pitched up that much higher. I really appreciate allies – really, really appreciate them. But nothing beats the person I am talking to/reading having (or having had) their own heart on the line (ie another partner or former partner).
3) In your opinion, what is the biggest misconception about the friends, family, and spouses of trans people?
I think the most common misconception is that you cannot be an ally, much less a partner or even a trans person, without messing up: using the wrong pronoun, etc. People figure if they don’t “have it down yet” they aren’t “doing a good job.” I find this tragic. Like so many things in life, you simply have to jump in with a good heart and try your best, be apologetic when you screw up and let it go and move on.
You can find Miriam Hall’s writing, photography, & practice online: her website.
Dean Spade & Normal Life
The found of the Sylvia River Law Project talks abut his new book, Normal Life. He is, as ever, smart, compassionate, and earnest about providing some answers to how we protect the most vulnerable. Totally worth watching:
He is too cool. Here’s Part 2.
Too Tune Tueday: Tinted Windows
For real? Godawful sugary pop to start 2013?! Yep. It’s over produced and kind of awful, much as Hansen was, but it’s still sweet and fun.
& That’s one hell of a backing band he’s assembled – the drummer especially.
Disability’s Top 10 of 2012
- Closed Captioning required on the Internet.
- Repeal of the CLASS Act.
- Senate FAIL
- Mainstream Media Representations
- Olympics!
- Violence Against Those with Disabilities
- Custodial Parents with Disabilities
- Cuts in Services Globally
- Passage of the Affordable Care Act
- Shootings in Aurora and Newtown
Some of these maybe obvious, but not all, so please go and read how all of these events effected those with disabilities and remember that the disability communities are as diverse as the LGBTQ communities.