Why I Left Long Island

An article in Sunday’s New York Times is about what teenaged Long Islanders do for fun.

Most were from white neighborhoods with safe schools and nice homes in bedroom communities. But this was not their fault. Manhattan was only a 45-minute car or train ride away, but it might as well have been a foreign country. No one spoke of heading in there for an evening.

For the record, the kids they talk about in this article were the ones who liked to throw stuff at me and call me ‘freak’ and alternately decide I was the coolest person in the world and buddy up to me.
This was like a bad flashback with no acid involved.

Five Questions With… Damian McNicholl

Damian McNicholl is the author of the Lambda finalist A Son Called Gabriel, who I met at a Lammy reading here in NYC. He’s from Northern Ireland, and Gabriel is about a young man growing up in a Catholic community in Northern Ireland. McNicholl’s blog can be found at http://damianm.blogspot.com, and A Son Called Gabriel is in bookstores, and available, of course, through amazon.com.
1) Considering all the scandals here in the US considering priests and pedophilia, how have people responded to your novel?
First Helen, thank you for the opportunity to visit your site and answer your questions.
While the scene where Father Cornelius seduces Gabriel amounts to only one scene in A SON CALLED GABRIEL, nevertheless, its inclusion was something I wondered about because the scandal involving the church had broken and was gaining momentum. I wondered if it would cause anger among the American-Irish community, particularly among those who are fervent practitioners of their Catholic faith. But any reservations I had about including the scene did not last long because, within me, deep within, I knew I had to remain true to Gabriel, and his story, and the truth in this regard had to be presented. The truth is that in real life some priests have taken advantage of young girls and boys. It has happened in the United States. It has happened in Ireland. It has happened throughout the world. And, of course, I did have a counterbalance to reflect how things are in life because not all the priests are warped: Gabriel’s headmaster at the grammar school is strict but proper, and the parish curate is a very kindly man who’s very much in touch with the needs of his parishioners.
And I am very happy to report that my readers are sophisticated enough to realize these terrible crimes have been perpetrated by renegade, if not evil, priests, and those who have commented or asked about it have done so positively. Indeed, I’ve had more questions from readers about the issue of bullying that’s also covered in the novel, as well as the isolation a young person endures growing up gay in a very conservative community.
And, to be absolutely honest, I really didn’t care about what anyone conservative would say or think about my work after they’d read it. I didn’t, because I was pretty sure no conservative person would read the novel. I mean, let’s face it; conservative people are not interested in reading or learning about or dealing with truths like this because it simply does not conform to their views of the real world.
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Privacy and the Boards

Due to the email harassment of someone who posts on our boards, Betty & I have had to change the access to the forums. From here on in, *anyone* who wants to read the forums has to register in order to do so. Only the ‘Technical Difficulties’ forum will be open to all, mostly because we needed a place to post this announcement so that people (esp our non-registered readers) would not be totally baffled.
It’s really unfortunate that we’ve had to do this, but the threat was serious enough that we feel we have no choice.
In terms of the harassment: someone has threatened to send various posts on these boards to the person’s employer: quite serious, indeed.
Again, apologies for this inconvenience. Believe me, once we confirm the harasser, their full name & address & photo will be posted here. We have no tolerance for this behavior.
Personally, I’m furious. Spending the time building a community like the MHB message boards takes a lot of time, effort, and work. And for one little bitter fuck to come along and ruin it for everyone really pisses me off. What it does, effectively, is make it possible for those who are already dealing with transness, at some level, to do so, but it prevents those who are more intrepid from getting any help, or being able to read the experiences of others. And that group includes the closeted CDs, stealth TSs, and especially partners, who are probably our most significant unregistered readership. Whoever sent that email (via anonymous remailer) is on my shitlist for taking much-needed resources from the people who need it most.
To those intrepid readers: I hope some of you will find the courage to register, to read or post or both.
If you are reading this, you anonymous, bitter shit, be forewarned that Betty & I have dealt with the likes of you before. We will find your local paper, we will find your name & address, & don’t be surprised when we use all three in combination.
Helen & Betty

Terribly Worried

Actually, I’m not terribly worried about this. I mean, one hopes that the Iraqis protect women’s social rights as much as possible. It certainly seems clear that in protecting the political rights, there’s no discussion of women not having the right to vote. I think it’s important to remember that in the year 1900, for example, in the United States, it was a democracy then. In 1900, women did not have the right to vote. If Iraqis could develop a democracy that resembled America in the 1900s, I think we’d all be thrilled. I mean, women’s social rights are not critical to the evolution of democracy. We hope they’re there. I think they will be there. But I think we need to put this into perspective.

(italics mine)
This choice little quote comes from yesterday’s Meet the Press, as spoken by Reuel Marc Gerecht, Director of the Middle East Initiative for Project for the New American Century.
Women had more rights under Hussein than they’re going to have after the US “liberation”? Um, how does that work? And what on earth does the word democracy possibly mean if women’s social rights don’t matter? 1900?
I’m flabbergasted.
Thanks to Betty for blogging this one; you can find links to other bloggers on the same topic in her post.

The Reality of Transition

On the MHB Boards, Emilia posted a link to an essay by trans educator Raven Kaldera that I thought more people should see. It’s called A Letter to Would-Be Transsexuals, and points up twenty areas of change that will impact your life if you transition. I thought it was accurate and not sugar-coated – the kind of essay I like best.
More of Raven Kaldera’s writing on trans issues can be found on his website: www.cauldronfarm.com.
He’ll also be presenting at Dark Odyssey, where Rahne Alexander, me, Joe Samson, and other transpeople who will be talking about the many aspects of trans sexuality. (Dark Odyssey is not a trans conference, but an all-kink inclusive sex conference.)
The essay is also being discussed on the MHB Boards.

SRLP Fundraiser: Gender Splendor

Next Saturday at 7pm, after Wigstock, Betty and I will be going to a fundraiser @ Starlight for the Sylvia Rivera Law Project. We’d love to see a good crowd, since SRLP is a great org that does good work.
I’ll be reading as part of the entertainment, and drag king Johnny Kat will be closing the show.
Here are more details straight from the organizer:

Gender Splendor:
A Hot Summer Benefit for the Sylvia Rivera Law Project @ Starlight
Saturday, August 27, 7-9pm

Silent Auction / Drink Specials
Performances that deconstruct gender in all its sexy, dirty, angry, funny glory.

Cover: $5 minimum, more accepted
All Door and Auction proceeds to benefit the work of the SRLP

You can also donate to SRLP online, if you can’t make it.

Still No Condom Ads

The other night I was watching something during primetime – I don’t know which show, I was flipping channels – and suddenly a KY commercial came on. KY! Apparently they’ve got a new product they’re marketing for women, something that could have been the next product in the old SNL dessert topping/floor wax spoofs: it’s part massage oil, part personal lubricant, and all of it is self-warming. It’s called Touch Massage. The commercial features an attractive couple, suggests sexual arousal tastefully, and shows the man rubbing her shoulders with the oil. Certainly tame enough.
Another day, I saw a commercial for Cialis, which is the new, improved version of Viagra.
Personal lubricant and erectile dysfunction during not-late-night viewing hours.
And yet there’s still no ads for condoms, are there? And you know why? The American Family Association and other groups of their ilk have protested the possibility with the usual arguments (key words: promote promiscuity) even though a quarter of the million+ people in the US who are infected don’t even know it.
I’m sure keeping those condom ads’ll off TV will help out with preventing teen pregnancy, right? Uh, no. Right now the US has a higher percentage of pregnant teens than countries with condom ads on TV.
Ah, the American Family Association: keeping your family pregnant and infected. Thanks guys.

For My Cous

I just got the crap news today that my cousin in the Navy is going to Iraq, after which he’s being shipped to Afghanistan. So today’s cat picture is for him.
cat playing
May he keep himself safe.

Five Questions With… Loren Krywanczyk

Loren KrywanczykLoren Krywanczyk is an undergraduate at Yale where he first organized Trans Issues Week in 2004, as a sophomore. The 2nd Annual Trans Issues Week took place in 2005, and Krywanczyk is currently planning the 3rd in the series.
< Loren (left) with his partner Vera
1) What encouraged you to start Trans Issues week at Yale?
I founded Trans Issues Week through my capacity as Special Events Coordinator of the Yale Women’s Center my sophomore year, a job that entailed putting together a speaker series during the spring semester. I was at the time purely woman-identified, and yet for some reason which I am still not entirely sure of I decided that it would be a good idea to devote the week to an exploration of intersections and tensions between feminism and trans/gender issues. I met with Jonathan D. Katz of the Larry Kramer Initiative for some direction in potential speakers, since I had very little knowledge of trans/gender issues or theory, let alone key visible figures in the field. Through contacting speakers and getting closer with the Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies Program at Yale, I received a one-month crash course in gender while throwing together what became the first annual Trans Issues Week at Yale. The week itself inspired me personally as well as academically, and shortly after the series my sophomore year I began incorporating genderqueerness and fludity into my own everyday life and intellectual pursuits. I guess you could say that a personal interest and activist/education-buildling initiative sparked my organization of the series, but even so I don’t know exactly where that personal interest stemmed from at the time.
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