If you’re waking up today and wondering why you can’t stop crying, that’s the shock of it wearing off. Now comes the sadness, the grief, and somewhere in there, the fear will happen too.
For straight people everywhere: please try to make some room for your LGBTQ colleagues, friends, and family. We are all a wreck, some of us barely keeping it together. I hate to say this, but we really don’t want to hear your opinions right now. We know this is about gun control and Islamophobia and all the rest, too, but this minute? It’s hard to be reminded in such a brutal, violent way that some people hate us very, very much, and that we live in a world, still, that debates our very existence, our rights, our humanity.
And maybe if young men didn’t grow up so steeped in homophobia promulgated to the left and to the right, every single damn minute, there wouldn’t be this much violence against us.
Also, fuck you to every politician who is telling people to pray but do nothing otherwise, to every talking head who has tolerated a conversation about who should pee where, to anyone who doesn’t shut down jokes about us.
Oh, right, and then there’s the anger.
Take care of yourself, readers. Reach out if you’re hurting too much. Hang out with animals. Step away from the computer. Listen to music. Do what you need to do to give yourself time for all of the emotions.
And then, hey, let’s go after gun control laws the same way we went after marriage.
Yesterday I saw students graduate who have been out and proud for most of their young lives; others are still shy around their families of origin but also full of pride in their own queer selves; some I did a small tutorial with this past Spring on pre Stonewall identity where we learned how important bars have always been – as safe space, as community, as political rallying cry. I am happy to know they are armed with that little piece of history that might help make some sense of this. I say that as if there is any to be made.
Another student who is a deep thinker, big hearted and logical, wrote to ask if I thought maybe at least this violence would be pivotal.
I had to say I didn’t know. I do know that somewhere a parent has just called their queer kid to tell them they love them for the very first time in a long time. I also know there are people whose hate burns so hot that they are happy one of these shooters finally found “a worthy target”.
I know that that hate, and that love, may appear in equal measure.
For those of us who live and work and love on the trans end of things, this news is not as shocking as it should be. We are too used to violence, fatigued by it.
I do know that the love and art and community we will create around this wound will knock our socks off; it’s how gay people live; it’s how we have lived through so much. As Solomon Georgio tweeted: the gay agenda has always been “enjoy every moment you can before a hateful person takes it away” and that is only more true today.
Take some joy in some small thing. Cry. Keep finding beauty and joy in places others don’t look. Find each other, at vigils and rallies and, yes, in bars. Dance. Give someone else safe harbor, a hug, a thought.
I keep thinking about Esqualita and the abuelitas who would come to see their queer grand kids walk and I know there is no consoling them and there shouldn’t be. We should live in a world where they are safer.
Love to all of you today. I am so, so tired of crying.
This just in:
Volunteers needed for online survey-must be employed in Wisconsin and be transgender.
Please forward to those who may wish to participate. This anonymous online survey focuses on the job satisfaction of transgender employees in the workplace. It takes about 6 minutes to complete. Participants must be: 18 years or older; employed but not self-employed; working for a Wisconsin-based employer; individuals who identity somewhere on the transgender spectrum.
Stacie Christian is conducting the research. A summary of dissertation results will be posted on Stacie Christian’s Facebook page and available at organizations who posted this flyer (IRB approval #05-25-16-0318253).
I’ve just received this interesting casting call for a trans female actress to play a trans woman. Here’s the description:
EVE POOLE – 30-40. an exceptional transgender female jazz pianist. She is centered, even keeled and attentive. She is beautiful and captivates a room. Eve used to be a musicology professor but now is a performance jazz pianist. She has trouble communicating and too often is more altruistic than serving her own needs. She eventually realizes that there is dishonesty in silence. (Actors submitting do not need to play the piano.)
Learn more about the film at: www.evethemovie.com
So if you know someone who might fit the bill, feel free to contact the filmmakers directly.