Apparently they have been all day today – I just forgot to post about it!
MHB Boards Down
Our message boards seem to be down for now, & my tech is fast asleep. I’ll get her eye on it in the morning, & in the meantime, sleep tight & feel free to chat in the comments section of this post.
Ms. Foster’s Regrets
You’ve probably seen it already, but Jodie Foster burned the house down last night at the Golden Globes by coming out. She had, really, already, back in 2007, and before that – well, anyone who cared has known for a long, long while.
But she was under tremendous pressure to come out for a very long time. She’s been mocked, criticized, and accused of being self-hating because she didn’t come out in a big public way. But she has been out to her friends and family – and, as I said, everyone else pretty much knew too. She’s been raising two children with her (now former) partner for the past two decades.
And while this coming out has also been criticized – some people are never happy – I thought she was fucking amazing & actually broke the goddamn rules and told everyone to go fuck themselves. & She did it totally seriously, without conceding anything emotionally. Unbelievable strength is what I saw, wrapped in barbs and spoken through pounds of fear.
While people concede the whole “but she’s an actor, she doesn’t get a private life” in some conjunction with the whole Hinckley Jr. trauma – I can’t imagine she experienced it as anything less than that – I’ve chosen a pretty non-private life too, and either you get to do what you want to do or you don’t. & To do some things, you don’t get to be private. So is that really a choice? I guess. But that doesn’t make it easier, to be honest.
The rage in her speech I understand entirely. Her friendship with Mel Gibson is utterly baffling – except for this: she probably understands better than most what it’s like to be so publicly & thoroughly hated for being angry and unpopular. I’ve rewatched this clip about half a dozen times, & I am still struck by the awesome amount of gratitude she expresses – that is in her voice, and her face, and her body – and that barely keeps in check the disgust and frustration with feeling forced to say something publicly.
Anyway, there was just something about this that struck a nerve – something that resonated with what Iggy Pop had to say about turning 50, something that I am beginning to understand deep in my bone marrow. Something in me has changed, too, hardened with anger, exhausted with pettiness while simultaneously overwhelmed by how deeply I can still feel. I am pretty sure this is not something I would have understood when I was younger or at a different time in my life, but I do now.
Thank you, Ms. Foster, for being unpleasant, hard as nails, and inimitably gracious and full of as much integrity as you could be.
Sex & Disability
So happy to see someone has made a documentary about disability and sexuality:
This narrative, written by Mark O’Brian and originally published back in 1990, is stunning and important and moving and amazing.
Letting me go, she put her hands down on the bed by my shoulders and kissed my chest.
This act of affection moved me deeply. I hadn’t expected it; it seemed like a gift from her heart. My chest is unmuscular, pale, and hairless, the precise opposite of what a sexy man’s chest is supposed to be. It has always felt like a very vulnerable part of me. Now it was being kissed by a caring, understanding woman and I almost wept.
And these articles all came my way via Andrea Grieve-Smith because of this one about a madam who is in the news for wanting to start a brothel for the disabled.
Worth Watching: War on Drugs
In one short hour, what you need to know about the drug war, all narrated by Morgan Freeman.
Some day we’ll come to our senses about this idiotic war on drugs, but I’m not holding my breath.
Still, I see the new legalization laws – especially Colorado’s – as a step in the right direction.
I will say, as a smoker, that culture in general still views addiction as some kind of moral failure — and we know better, except that what we know still doesn’t seem to inform policy.
Awww Shucks
Jenny Boylan does the We Happy Trans project and namechecks little ol’ me:
And I’m in such great company, too. Of course I admire her back (even if she’s a Deadhead).
Also, I love “not enough, probably” in response to “what are you doing to bring about the change you want to see?”.
Sweden’s News
That’s great news.
This policy never, ever made any sense to me, so I’m glad they finally got rid of it.
A Few Questions With… Eleanor Hubbard
Eleanor Hubbard is the co-editor of the anthology Trans Kin: A Guide for Family and Friends of Transgender People< . I got the chance to ask her a few questions about the book.
1) What encouraged you to create this book?
Cameron (the other co-editor) is a former student of mine, and he studied the transgender literature in a guided study project under my direction. Although I knew a little about transgender issues through teaching Sex, Gender and Society for many years at the University of Colorado and I was already an ally of the GLBT community, this project helped me learn a great deal more. Then Cameron was my student in Qualitative Methods and Critical Thinking and wrote an honors thesis under my direction. After his graduation, we talked how we could continue to work together and actually started on a paper that would reflect what we were calling the gender spectrum at that time.
One time when we were together, I wish I could remember the exact date, Cameron said to me: “I found many books to read during my transition that were very helpful, but when my mom asked me for something to read that would help her, I couldn’t find anything.” I responded, “This is the book we were meant to write.”
As we started to collect stories, we were encouraged even more that this book needed to be available for SOFFAs! The stories were funny, poignant, inspirational, and most of all, heart-felt. Cam and I became the conduit through which more people could hear these stories.
2) What, in editing it, is the biggest surprise? What was the most expected?
The biggest surprise for me in reading and re-reading our book was how many differences and similarities, there were in the lives of SOFFAs and their Transgender loved ones. For instance, the experience of SOFFAs going through transition with their transgender spouse, family member or friend had some similarities with their trans loved one. SOFFAs often feel that they are put in the closet as their loved ones were coming out of the closet during their transition. Who to tell and when to tell about their trans son is a big concern for the parent just as it is was for their son. What pronouns to use? How to introduce their male spouse to people who knew her as a woman? How to explain what their friend was going through to family members? These are all questions that trans people deal with as well, but with a different slant.
Another surprise for me was how well many family members, spouses, and friends went through the transition and came out on the other side. I have had many transgender people tell me that their family and friends disowned them when they transitioned, but I was particularly moved by the story of the step-father who disagreed with his son’s transition, but still loved him and spent time with him when his wife, and the son’s mother, could not. But this is only one example of many in the book where SOFFAs find their own way through their transition while still loving and supporting their transgender loved ones.
Another surprise was how many SOFFAs were also priests, pastors, rabbis, and committed church and synagogue members. Allies within the church were particularly important for many transgender people who have been disenfranchised by their church community.
I brought many expectations to the book about SOFFAs, but every single one burst. I learned that my expectations were what got in the way of really hearing the stories of trans people and their SOFFAs.
3) In your opinion, what is the biggest misconception about the friends, family, and spouses of trans people?
The biggest misconception about SOFFAs is that they are different than us. Some SOFFAs can’t cope with their loved one’s transitioning, but many not only deal with it, but survive and thrive, just like the rest of us. SOFFAs have hopes and dreams for themselves and their trans loved ones, but they, just like the rest of us, learn to move through their expectations and love the person in front of them, not the person they wanted them to be. Some people cope with life-threatening illnesses in their friends, family and spouses. Many people worry about substance abuse or infertility or disability and continue to try to change the person rather than accept them for who they are. But because there are resources available to them and their own inner resilence, many people find their way through difficult times, just like SOFFAs do. We have much more in common than we have differences.
RIP Jeanne Manford, PFLAG Founder
PFLAG’s lovely tribute. I don’t think it’s hard to imagine that. Every day that is still difficult for parents to say. She was a good soul and a good parent then and now.
We should all hope to achieve the legacy of love she gave us.
CFP: Brotherhood is Powerful – Writings by Transsexual Men
CALL FOR PAPERS
Brotherhood is Powerful: An Anthology of Liberationist Writings by Transsexual Men
Editor: Zander Keig, MSW
Publisher: Transgress Press
We are now accepting submissions for the anthology, Brotherhood is Powerful: An Anthology of Liberationist Writings by Transsexual Men, edited by FTM community advocate and educator, Zander Keig.
Much has been written about transsexuals from an academic, medical and bureaucratic perspective. While this literature provides important information about transsexuals’ lives, it tends to also obscure and misinform as much as it reveals. This is because a lot of the literature is written by either non-transsexuals and/or focuses too narrowly and simplistically on reductionist and stereotypical topics of interest to a small minority of elite academics.
Transsexuals’ lives are far more complex, however, when seen through the lens of our lived experiences and physical and somatic embodiment. Feminism, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Gay Liberation Movement all taught us that the first step toward liberation is to challenge the norms that misrepresent and subjugate our experiences in service to a larger meta-narrative of gender and sexuality.
This book gives a platform for transsexual men to engage these discourses and shape the course of knowledge production about transsexuals, in an effort to counter the stories told about our lives, which serve to silence our identities, communities, and experiences.
Continue reading “CFP: Brotherhood is Powerful – Writings by Transsexual Men”