Year: 2012

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On Dominant Narratives and Why Trans People Lie

This is a really fascinating article written by a trans person and sent to me by one too, and it echoes a lot of the thought and sentiment of the MHB Boards over the years.


But it’s true that, before I said it, I carefully mined my personal history for examples of how I was never really a girl. And when I presented my decision to transition to my friends and family, it was with the “always knew” narrative well rehearsed. In that, I’m like almost every other trans* person I’ve ever talked to about the coming out process.

Why is “I always knew” the common narrative? Why do so many of us tell some version of that story even if it isn’t true?

and this:

Which brings me to a question I want to leave with you: Why are we, as transgender people, challenged by others to prove that we really are who we say we are? Why do we feel this reflexive need to prove our genders beyond a shadow of a doubt? Because when we find ourselves backed into the “I always knew” corner, we end up doing the same thing we did all those years we were trying to fit the gender we were assigned at birth: repressing an essential part of ourselves for fear it will betray us.

But of course I will add, as a cis ally, that hey, trans people: forgive yourself for wanting stuff to not suck sometimes and so doing what needs to be done to get your transition to happen. Honestly, it’s the rest of us who are inconsistent assholes for not just being cool with it.

But either way, Zach McCallum: well done.

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It’s Adam Ant’s Fault

Sorry I didn’t post this past week: I went to NYC for a few days to see my mom in the hospital & to go see this guy:

It’s been 20 years since the last time I saw him live, and it was amazing.

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Lower on the Food Chain

I’m about the worst vegetarian ever – for which I used the acronym WVE – or what’s sometimes referred to as a flexitarian. To some people that just means omnivore, but in fact, it’s not quite. I used to eat a diet that probably included meat in nearly every meal – because it’s easy to do so as an American if you’re not thinking too hard about your food choices – and making the decision to be veg means that I do occasionally eat meat, for whatever reason I choose, but the majority of my food consumption is made of vegetables and grains.

It does not mean that other people can decide it’s okay for me to eat meat whenever *they* choose, however.

I don’t have an ethical problem with eating animals, but I do have a problem with treating them like crap before I do, and so noe I don’t worry as much about the way the animals I eat have been treated. My logic is that if everyone ate as little meat as I do, we wouldn’t have these massive meat factories and horrible, horrible treatment of animals. As one organic, free range farmer put it: “Our animals have a really great life and then one really bad day.” Which is, to my logic, about as good as it gets for any of us, no?

My point is: October is Vegetarian Month! So check out this nifty little info graphic that has all the stuff you need.

I’d add: if you have ever thought this might be a good idea for you, it probably is, so try it. & As with any huge change in your life, make sure you give yourself room to backslide and be imperfect at it for a while. & Don’t worry about the purists: they get their panties in a twist about everything. Just eat consciously and don’t ignore your own ethics. Also: it’s harder than it looks, in my experience, but worth the effort.

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Bring Trans in the US Military

Trans people, as some people may know, were not included in DADT and so are also not free to serve now that it has been revoked. Trans people usually can’t serve because in order to get treatment for transsexualism, trans people often have to be diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder, which is a mental health issue, and which disables someone from serving.

Basically, Klinger was right, except everyone knew he wasn’t a real crossdresser; he just didn’t want to be in the war. Most crossdressers who serve do so while deep in the closet, just as many gay and lesbian service members did in the past. Even crossdressing is still grounds for discharge.


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Swing State

So there are endless political ads on the TV machine, BUT there’s also a lot of cool people speaking in Wisconsin these days too, & this Friday, in fact, Michelle Obama will be speaking at Lawrence.

Let’s just say we’re really really really excited.

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Balpreet Kaur

Okay, she’s my new hero.

Some jackass took a photo of her and posted it on Reddit in order to mock her appearance. A friend saw it & told her about it. So Ms. Kaur wrote to the jerk:

“Hey, guys. This is Balpreet Kaur, the girl from the picture. I actually didn’t know about this until one of my friends told on facebook. If the OP wanted a picture, they could have just asked and I could have smiled 🙂 However, I’m not embarrased or even humiliated by the attention [negative and positve] that this picture is getting because, it’s who I am. Yes, I’m a baptized Sikh woman with facial hair. Yes, I realize that my gender is often confused and I look different than most women. However, baptized Sikhs believe in the sacredness of this body – it is a gift that has been given to us by the Divine Being [which is genderless, actually] and, must keep it intact as a submission to the divine will. Just as a child doesn’t reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikhs do not reject the body that has been given to us. By crying ‘mine, mine’ and changing this body-tool, we are essentially living in ego and creating a seperateness between ourselves and the divinity within us. By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions. My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it? When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn’t important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are. 🙂 So, if anyone sees me at OSU, please come up and say hello. I appreciate all of the comments here, both positive and less positive because I’ve gotten a better understanding of myself and others from this. Also, the yoga pants are quite comfortable and the Better Together tshirt is actually from Interfaith Youth Core, an organization that focuses on storytelling and engagement between different faiths. 🙂 I hope this explains everything a bit more, and I apologize for causing such confusion and uttering anything that hurt anyone.

The bold is mine.

And that is just too amazingly cool. I wish I had half the nerve, the confidence. I never even found out how much facial hair I might have been able to grow, and now I kind of wish I had. That said, I’m gonna guess she might have PCOS too, in which case she should be careful about being pre-diabetic.

But damn.

The cooler thing still is that the jerk who posted it actually had his opinion changed and apologized for being an asshole. And now, if you really need to, you can go look at the photo.

(via Jezebel.)