Helen Boyd Kramer's journal on gender and stuff
It seems whenever there’s a profile or personal narrative of a trans person in mainstream media it has to be somehow tragic. And I’m so over it. Because I think we’re amazing.
What a cool and much overdue piece about being trans and not tragic. This kind of idea is what I was trying to get at years ago (7!) when I objected to – or suggested an addition to – the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
But no matter: I’m happy to see a trans person say it.
What a remarkable essay on the whole recent “don’t call me transgender” debate by the one & only Mercedes Allen. Historically accurate, intentionally personal, coherently political, and — just WOW. Great stuff. Of course I can’t say I agree entirely, but her impulse to take this cry seriously is the same as mine.
I have found myself using the term “traditional transsexuals” – which I love because the idea seems oxymoronic on first glance to many people – because there is a certain type of transsexual person who really doesn’t have much in common with the larger trans community. Jamison Green calls them the “mow the lawn” transsexual people – the people who come to a meeting to find out what to do & how to do it, who then do it, & then they go home & mow the lawn. Transition as a medical, legal and social pathway is effectively curative: I had the wrong body, and now I don’t, & let’s all move on with our lives. Ideally, for some people, this is exactly the solution, and I have known far too many trans people for whom this is the only answer that makes any sense. They are not necessarily stealth or closeted; they are not ashamed of their transness, and they are open about it with a very select group of people – close friends, children, partners – but otherwise are not. That is, they tell people on a need to know basis, and most people need to know someone is trans about as much as anyone needs to know if someone has had any other medical procedure.
Because people often re-gender people who are trans once they find out they are trans. I’ve seen it happen too many times.
That said, many of the things needed by transgender people – the umbrella – are also needed by “traditional transsexual” people while they’re transitioning: Legal & safe use of public bathrooms, access to hormones, non-discrimination legislation, etc. I worry more about trans people who live lives in which people don’t know they’re trans far more than I worry about those who are out — exactly because you really don’t know how someone will react when they don’t know, and many will feel betrayed — even if and when they wouldn’t otherwise have a problem with someone being trans. It sucks, but it’s true. It’s not fair, but it’s true.
The one thing I can say about the transgender communities: stuff changes. Roll with it. It’s the most exciting thing about this social movement.
There are too many turns of the screw to count now, but Barnes & Noble has just demanded that the magazine Dossier bag its magazine because of the cover photo: featuring a bare-chested male model. Why? Because he looks like a woman otherwise. It’s a pretty stunning image and is being heralded as the “new face of androgyny”.
Stunning.
A friend put this Cake song up on Facebook the other day, & I wanted to find another similar kind of joyous song & came up with this one by April Smith, whose songs make me happy in a goofy sort of way.
(That Cake bassline is so Queen, though, isn’t it? Another one eats the Cake. )
Sweetness for the last Tuesday in May because spring has finally come to our corner of Wisconsin, and frankly I think the sun has gone to my head: it’s either that or all the end-of-academic-year parties.
I really like this short list of how to be an ally, although I would add an 11th: you will fuck up, so surround yourself with people who both expect and can accept apologies when you do. And obviously, be willing to admit when you have.
1. Don’t derail a discussion.
2. Do read links/books referenced in discussions.
3. Don’t expect your feelings to be a priority in a discussion about X issue.
4. Do shut up and listen.
5. Don’t play Oppression Olympics.
6. Do check your privilege. It’s hard and often unpleasant, but it’s really necessary.
7. Don’t expect a pass into safe spaces because you call yourself an ally.
8. Do be willing to stand up to bigots.
9. Don’t treat people like accessories or game tokens.
10. Do keep trying.
Do check out the whole list for the clarifications and explanations.
You no longer need to have surgery to change your birth certificate in VT. From The Task Force:
Although some other states allow gender changes without proof of surgery in their policies, Vermont becomes the very first to have clear language in its statute that makes clear surgery is not necessary to update one’s birth certificate.
This is great news, and good precedent. You already don’t need surgery to get a US passport, so here’s hoping more states follow VT’s example.
Larkin Street Stories: Serving Homeless LGBTQ Youth is a three-part video series (approximately 6–9 minutes each) offering tips on best practices for providers serving lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth who are homeless.
In the videos, staff and youth from Larkin Street Youth Services in San Francisco discuss and share lessons learned regarding their approach to supporting LGBTQ youth who are homeless. The video series begins by introducing Toby, Loch and the youth from Larkin Street Youth Center. It describes the importance of being “present” for youth, and helping youth see their own strengths and resources. The youth talk about being rejected by their families due to their LGBTQ identity and leaving home as a result.
The Larkin Street staff provide tips on how to create a safe and welcoming space for LGBTQ youth, including how to handle hate speech. The final episode explores the importance of never making assumptions about a youth’s sexual identity or gender expression, allowing youth to self-identify, and empowering youth to reach their full potential despite the challenges they have faced.
I can’t say it’s precedent, as it’s happened before in Texas, but it is sad and frustrating and entirely wrong-headed.
HOUSTON — A judge was expected to void the marriage between a transgender widow and her firefighter husband who died battling a blaze and will rule in favor of the man’s mother who argued that the marriage wasn’t valid, an attorney in the case said Tuesday based on a draft of the decision.
The suit was brought by the mother of firefighter Thomas Araguz III and argued that his widow, Nikki Araguz, should not receive any death benefits. The lawsuit claimed their marriage wasn’t legal because Nikki Araguz was born a man and Texas does not recognize same-sex marriage.
Read more: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/tx/7580056.html#ixzz1NMik3CMN
So frustrating. Our sympathies to Nikki Araguz.
I’m a day late, but it’s the 10th week of a 10 week term, so cut me a break.
Here are two recent songs I’ve heard recently that make me think about Poly Styrene’s impact on music. Altered Images is from the 80s, and Clare Grogan’s vocals were a direct inheritor of what Styrene was up to:
How can you not love “you make me go ooooh ooooh with the things that you do you do you do“?! Echoes of Cole Porter are never a bad thing.
