Helen Boyd Kramer's journal on gender and stuff
Here we are again, off to DO, and I probably won’t be blogging or checking the boards (much) while we’re gone. The internet is always a little iffy from camp, and really, honestly – a little too cyber when there are people having sex near you on lounge chairs.
We’ll be back Monday-ish.
Our friend Lynne pointed out this interesting article from The American Scholar about the problem of elite schools. I particularly liked this section, since it’s so rare we actually talk about class in this culture:
Elite schools pride themselves on their diversity, but that diversity is almost entirely a matter of ethnicity and race. With respect to class, these schools are largely—indeed increasingly—homogeneous. Visit any elite campus in our great nation and you can thrill to the heartwarming spectacle of the children of white businesspeople and professionals studying and playing alongside the children of black, Asian, and Latino businesspeople and professionals. At the same time, because these schools tend to cultivate liberal attitudes, they leave their students in the paradoxical position of wanting to advocate on behalf of the working class while being unable to hold a simple conversation with anyone in it.
He goes on to talk about types of smartness, the goal of liberal arts, and the uses of solitude.
There’s a big article about Trinidad, CO, on the CBS News website, but interestingly, the story is more about how bored the citizens of Trinidad are about trans people and surgery.
Like a lot of us, really.
In a week’s time, straight Americans will be standing up for LGBT Rights – here in New York, including Brooklyn, but also in California, Colorado, Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, etc. The basic idea is that straight people will attend vigils – and other media-making events – in order to bring attention to the political issues facing LGBT Americans.
This is a damned good idea (and it’s brought to you by Atticus Circle, and Soulforce).
You can get involved by signing up here, and you can email your friends about it, too.
I’m looking for someone who can write an articulate piece about being trans and Republican. I really don’t understand it myself, so I’d like someone who would be willing to address themselves to left-leaning Democrats.
For those of you who didn’t see it (and who didn’t send it to me), there was an article in the Style section of The NY Times about on-the-job transitions called “Smoother Transitions.” One insight that I had never thought about:
There are also easier routes for employees. At first glance, Ms. Fox said, it might seem easier to apply for a new job in a new gender rather than changing identities in place. But the latter turns out to be simpler.
“If you make the change with people who already know you, then the fact that you are transgender is just one part of you,†she said. In contrast, Ms. Fox said, starting from scratch with a new employer, particularly for a transgender person who does not completely look male or female, means an employer can be “distracted to the point that your gender identity is all they see.â€
There’s also a few good quotes in here my Jillian Todd Weiss, who blogs about transgender issues in the workplace. My only wish is that they’d have interviewed Hawk Stone, since he’s been helping people transition on the job for a very long time.
For whatever reason, the blog is holding some comments for approval, so you don’t need to write/submit them twice.
Just so people know, the reading at Bluestockings is at 7PM tonight.
Our friend and book reviewer Jude Russell wrote a short, simple piece about the binary that really resonated with me. I hope it does for many of you, too.
There have been a couple of threads recently wherein gender outlaws (and I use that term with utmost affection and respect) have run afoul of cisgendered folks who have gotten the gender wrong – typically persons in “boy mode” who were androgynous or feminine enough to be gendered female – although I am sure it runs both ways.
Now, I spent many years in that gender neutral zone – where I’d be gendered female in one interaction, male in another, and trigger some confusion (and possibly, anger) in a third. It was all very interesting (from a sociological perspective), and fun (from a Loki / coyote / mischief maker perspective) but also somewhat stressful (especially when things like waste elimination came into play, or I’d run into someone who had a problem with it).
I guess my reaction to these experiences has been somewhat different than others. Because I think we need to take some responsibility for choosing to color outside the lines, choosing to bend gender, choosing to break the rules. So when I was in boy mode and got gendered female, I was less pissed off, and more amused – it was my decision to adopt a more feminine affect, and it was, in some ways, rewarding to have that recognized even as it was uncomfortable to be called on it. I began to pay attention to how others were gendering me – and acted accordingly. If I was vibing female that particular day, well, I stayed out of male gendered spaces; opting for unisex or female gendered spaces, or being cautious and quick in male gendered ones. Many a time, I sought out a unisex bathroom, or watched the gendered bathrooms until I was pretty sure they were empty, or wandered towards a pair of gendered bathrooms and decided at the last minute which one to use, based solely on if anyone was going in or coming out of either.
And when I was called on my gender blur – well, I had a collection of responses ready. “Yeah, I guess I am pretty androgynous” or “I’m still deciding” or “Sometimes I’m not really sure myself”. And yeah, when it got to be too stressful, I’d move in one direction or the other, to reduce the friction. In some ways, my decision to transition was of this nature – that living in between genders required too much energy, produced too much friction in the world.
I guess my point is, we live in this binary gendered world. And slowly, things are loosening up – there are unisex or gender free bathrooms, gender markers are removed from forms and identity documents, salutations are made optional, gay marriage (the prevention of which is, IMHO, the primary reason for rigid binary gender boundaries) is made legal.
But in the meantime, we need to live in this world. And we need to own the fact that we are the gender outlaws, that we need to live on this binary coded planet. Even if the long term goal is a lot less gendered society, we’ll grind ourselves into dust with stress and anger if we do not figure out how to bend and move in the margins at times.
Often starting our journey from a position of cisgenderer privilege – where we could use the right bathroom unconsciously, where we could simply move through the world on automatic pilot, feeling a sense of affiliation and belonging with our gender, its difficult to find ourselves stripped of that gender privilege. But the quicker we realize “I’m privileged differently now, I need to adjust my attitude accordingly”, the more gently we move through society. We can still fight for rights or visibility or a less gendered world. But we can do so without the constant erosion of our energies and self esteem…….
It’s sort of a reframing – becoming less of a victim of a repressive culture, and more of an anthropologist or explorer, carefully moving among this binary culture that we are studying and experimenting with.
Chris Matthews is in fine form making fun of Buchanan having suddenly become a Women’s Rights Man. Entertaining.