I got the news today that the episode of the Dr. Keith Ablow show we taped back in December will air on Thursday, February 22nd. You can find when the show airs in your area by checking the Dr. Keith website.
What She Said
Props to All My Children for today’s show, when Bianca told Zarf that blackmarket hormones are not the way to transition. She tells Z. to find a discreet doctor instead, since she’s worried about the gossip rags.
Not Since Supergirl
Betty sent me this article about match.com, written by a woman about the disastrous effects of the plethora of women available to men on services like match.com. An article like this confuses me, not because I can’t relate – believe me, I can: I had guys cheat on me, guys who didn’t want a commitment, guys who failed to mention girlfriends. & I’m certainly sure that none of the women reading that article and relating to it – the kind of women who use match.com and who need or want or imbibe the “dating principles” at the end of the article – will really care for advice from a woman married to someone trans.
But I’m going to say it anyway: I don’t understand how a woman could be confused as to whether a guy is interested or not. Does he treat you as well as your friends do, or better? Then he likes you. If he doesn’t, walk. If you can’t tell, he’s not interested.
But still, reading it, I’m struck by this urge women have to make themselves into “what guys want.” I go into this some in the new book, but I don’t get re-shaping yourself according to some abstract idea of what men are looking for in women. It doesn’t matter what guys want, what cultural trends are. It just doesn’t. It takes one guy, who’s well-suited to you, who likes you for the things that most guys *don’t* find attractive about you, or at least who aren’t likely to. I’ve always had a hard time understanding what Betty liked about me, and then we rescued Aurora, who is an ornery, difficult, complicated cat who also happens also to be loving, sweet, playful, loyal and smart. It’s only seeing how much she has Betty wrapped around her little paw that the lightbulb went off: Betty likes difficult women. Mystery solved.
I just don’t see how becoming a cookie cutout of a woman would ever help along the quest for a mate. But I guess a lot of women want cookie cutouts for husbands, too, which is also something I don’t understand. I guess my marriage to Betty is more than ample evidence that I prize singularity, as does she. Continue reading “Not Since Supergirl”
Reconciling Past Selves
the threads on wasted youth and teen photos have had me thinking about the idea of reconciling past selves. & i think sometimes trans folk think they corner the market on this one, but i know a lot of different people who have various kinds of misspent youths – even if they weren’t so misspent as they think. when i was a teenager, my (by then in his 20s) older brother balked whenever anyone found a photo of him from when he was a teenager – and at the time i remember thinking, “i never want to be like that about how i look now.” (& mind you, how i looked then wasn’t considered socially acceptable by any means.) sometimes i wonder if it didn’t alter other choices i made in life, in order to live a life consistent with having been that punk rock kid back in the day.
but i don’t know. there are other pasts: times i spent as a green, etc.
& maybe i’m feeling particularly vulnerable right now, because quite a few of you out there are reading or about to read my book, which is about me in ways that are more personal than perhaps people would predict.
anyway, a part of me just wanted to say: trans people are not the only ones with pasts they have to reconcile. & i say that to you trans folk just so you know it, & don’t go around thinking that that’s one more burden of transness.
i like to think all the people i’ve been, the aspects of myself i brought to the front burner or pushed to a back one, are all always there, operating all the time. like turning up the bass & turning down the treble while listening to music – some things dim & come back again, some things appear once & never re-appear, other things maintain their frequency and intensity all the while.
anyway. this was just to say, mostly.
Toxic Toys
That handful of dirt we’re all supposed to have swallowed over the course of a lifetime seems quite healthy in comparison to this nasty stuff.
Calendar
What with all the publicity I hope to be doing in the upcoming months, I decided to put up a calendar just for my book events & the like.
& Of course you can always check out my list of upcoming (& past) appearances if you want to know where we’ll be next.
Not Even a Band-Aid
The Task Force has put up a blog entry by Jason Cianciotto about the recent study showing that a very high percentage of homeless youth are LGBT.
“In anticipation of the 2008 renewal of the Runaway, Homeless and Missing Children Protection Act (RHMCPA), the primary piece of federal legislation that directs funding and programming guidelines to homeless youth service providers nationwide, the Congressional Research Service released its own report on youth homelessness in the US. Their report did not include a single mention of LGBT youth.” (emphasis his)
Really, do read it. Because as I mentioned in my other post about this, it’s not just about providing services once these kids are homeless. It’s about keeping them from becoming homeless in the first place, & that’s the kind of project that’s going to take a large national commitment, a commitment that can’t be made if the powers that be are avoiding, or unaware, of the problem.
I Always Liked Her, But Now…
… Tyra Banks is up there on my hero’s list. This whole recent brouhaha of her being told she’s fat and not hot anymore has blown my mind, but I’ve been chuffed at her responses.
“If I had a lower self-esteem, I would probably be starving myself right now. That’s exactly what is happening to other women all over this country,” the talk show host said. (You can watch what she said on her show’s website.)
She’s 5’10” and 161 lbs., which means she’s in the “normal” range for BMI. When she was doing the catwalk she was closer to 130 lbs., which is on the low end of the normal range. Tyra Banks is what a healthy, tall woman looks like, and if people think she’s fat, it’s only because our sense of what a normal healthy female body looks like is so fucked up. I really do believe that one of the reasons so many women are overweight in America (aside from all the driving and bad food) is that what’s considered attractive requires near-starvation. If we had healthier images of women’s bodies, that goal might seem a lot more attainable to people.
But the point is: I know I’d happily trade bodies with her, as would most women in America. As if most men would turn her down, too. Puh-leeze.
Fetal Felines
They get into the most unusual positions.
I wonder if this is a close estimation of how they slept in their mom’s womb:
Books
It looks like amazon.com and B&N online both have them, too, as the pages now say “usually ships within 2-3 days” instead of the pre-order page.
Some day I’m going to figure out why books seem to ship before the actual pub dates, but it’s not like I mind.