Regarding Transgender Tapestry #110

I received my copy of Transgender Tapestry #110 the other day, and so turned immediately to the Book Review section, as I’d been asked to write a review of Richard/Alice Novic’s Alice in Genderland quite a while back.

I had also been told, by Richard Novic and by then-editor Dallas Denny, that Richard Novic didn’t like my review, and had requested TT run a more favorable review instead. Ms. Denny opted to run both reviews, side by side, and told me as much. I was okay with her decision, even though I found Novic’s request somewhat odd, as I wrote what was at worst a mixed review, but by no means a bad one. (I even used the phrase, “highly recommended” which is generally not found in a bad review.)

That was as much as I knew until I received my copy in the mail the other day. It was quite a surprise to see, in addition to my review and the requested 2nd review, a note by Richard Novic effectively rebutting my own review and plainly stating “I was hoping that as a reviewer, she might rise above the way my book affected her personally. . .” In addition, she mentioned how “surprised” she was that TT had chosen me to review her “life story.”

For the record, then, a few corrections.

(1) Richard Novic specifically requested, by email, that I review Alice in Genderland for TT. Suffice it to say the new editor of TT, Denise LeClair, and the old editor of TT, Dallas Denny, both have a copy of said email.

(2) The review I did submit had been re-written several times after I let Richard Novic read it and before I sent it to TT. She was not happy with my original draft(s), so I softened a good deal of my criticism of it.

(3) I sent Richard Novic my review of her book beforehand only as a personal favor, and in fact re-wrote the piece some only because we had become somewhat friendly over time. He had written to me on previous occasions, having read my book, to ask advice about publishing houses & the like, and I gave her what information I could about the advantage of publishing with a house as opposed to independently. I do not and did not harbor any personal animosity toward Richard Novic, but I have learned my lesson: I will not let someone read a review I’ve written before submitting it for publication again.

(4) Dallas Denny was not responsible for the inclusion of Alice Novic’s “note” about my review, having resigned her post as editor between the time she submitted the two reviews and the actual publication of TT #110. She has said she found the publication of such a rebuttal in TT an embarrassment both to Richard Novic and to TT.

(5) Generally speaking, authors do not rebut their reviews. It’s considered bad form. They may occasionally factually correct a reviewer, if anything.

(6) The announcement in the same issue of TT that Richard Novic is to be one of TT’s regular columnists makes the publication of that note even more unprofessional and smacks of favoritism.

Finally, I want to state that I stand by my review. The idea that my “personal feelings” overwhelmed my professional considerations is laughable; after all, half of what I do professionally is advocate for partners! More than anything, however, I wanted people – crossdressers especially – to understand how rare and highly individual Dr. Novic’s situation is, so that they would not make the tragic mistake of expecting their own wives to accept their having boyfriends on the side. As it is, so many wives are already stretched to the limit in terms of accepting and honoring their husbands’ crossdressing. I will also reiterate that I found Richard Novic’s honesty about his own bisexualism and his journey toward self-acceptance laudable and useful.

If people would like to read more reviews of the book – including some of my more personal feelings about it – do check the thread on our message boards where some of our regular posters chimed in as to their own feelings about the book, too.

Why I Stopped Working for Straight Guys

A while back I said I’d tell the story of how I decided not to work for straight guys anymore as a bookkeeper, & now I’m finally getting around to it.
A couple of years ago when I started doing freelance bookkeeping, I put an ad up on Craigs List, like you do, & so I got a bunch of emails from people who needed my help. Some offered to trade me for clothes or salon treatments or massages (tempting): you never know, with Craig’s List. But one guy I met with had started a small business doing interior remodeling after having worked on Wall St. a while. During the first phonecall I make clear upfront that I don’t work a.m. hours (because I write until 5am, though frankly most people don’t ask why), and we talk about what he needs & how far behind he is, etc. It seems like a do-able job so we meet for lunch and that goes well, too. He wants to hire me, but forgot his organizer, he’ll call. When he calls, he asks me to come in at 10am. I tell him again I don’t work in the am. He says okay, and we agree on a day & time. He calls me to cancel a day before that meeting, & we reschedule when he calls to cancel. He asks if I can come in at 10am. I explain again I don’t work morning hours, and ask him outright if he’s going to want to work on the books regularly in the morning. He says no, and we reschedule. So I go to our first meeting, look at his QB (QuickBooks, for the uninitiated) and then we discuss a regular time to come in.
& Yes, you guessed the end of the story: he suggested 10am.What a huge waste of my time.
That, of course, was after nearly 10 years working for Mr. Famous Author Man, who was f***ing his publicist and actually thought I didn’t know. He also decided at some point that I should work full-time for him without a 401k and health insurance (when the reason I worked for him freelance was so I could set my own hours and take time off to travel, which he was well aware of). But I can’t go into the rest of that story too deeply or my head will implode.
Then there was the guy who decided since the company wasn’t making any money the first person he’d get rid of was the admin/bookkeeper. When I first got that job, they were two years behind in billing clients – two years – which is a pretty solid explanation for why there was no money coming in, eh? So I got him up to date, and then I get laid off. I heard from clients of his that as soon as I was gone they’d stopped billing clients regularly again. Smart move there.
So, that’s why. Too many arrogant lunkheads. I thought before I hurt someone I’d try to make a point of specializing in minority clients, instead – specifically women and LGBT folks – and see if that was any better. And you know what? It has been. Way better. Like millions of times better. I don’t rule out straight guys; but I will ask now if they’re comfortable listening to/taking advice from a woman, if they’ve ever had a female boss, etc. Why? Because as a bookkeeper you have to tell people what to do sometimes, and there’s no point in being someone’s bookkeeper if they don’t listen to you. Now when I don’t think it will be a good fit, I often mention upfront that I don’t work morning hours because I write until the wee hours, which always gets them to ask the question: what do you write about? (or, anything I might have read? etc.) Replying, “a book about transvestites” is pretty much a shoo-in that the rest of the conversation will be awkward and they won’t want to hire me, and I can walk away without having to say, “I don’t think you’re ready for a female bookkeeper, so go pay your male accountant way too much to tell you the same things I would have.”

Transgender/Transsexual

I was having a private conversation with someone who identifies as transsexual and not as transgender recently, when the thought occurred to me: is that possible? I understand the need to identify as transsexual (the book I’m currently reading, Max Wolf Valerio’s The Testosterone Files, has made that argument quite well) but I really wonder if it’s possible.
I mean can your gender actually stay the same when you change sex? I don’t think so. I think probably a lot of butch lesbians come pretty close when they transition, because their gender is essentially already male. (Not all of them, mind you, but some.)
But gender is so variable. Unless you’re talking about a two-gender system, where the only choices are masculine and feminine, then perhaps a very gender non-conforming person who is trans but pre transition might be gendered the same way before as after transtion. But I can’t imagine that being true for any MTF I’ve met, to be honest; the taboos against males expressing femininity are so drastic, that it’d take one seriously (brave, irreverent) feminine male-bodied person to truly inhabit a feminine gender while living as male.
So my feeling is that being transsexual and transitioning usually implies also being transgender.

Curvy Tomboy

As some of you know, I think of myself as a tomboy – or whatever the adult term for that might be for a het/queer woman. (I haven’t come up with a term yet, so your coinages are appreciated.) But tomboys are supposed to be muscular & straight, you know, boyish, & my body hasn’t been boyish since I was a boy’s age, as it were.
I’ve decided that since I’ve got this generosity of breast these days, which is really unreconcilable with being a tomboy, that I needed to be creative. If I can wear my bevy of breastness like macho guys wear a big dick, you know, outta my way, kids, substantialness coming through, and yeah, I do need two seats on the subway.
So far it’s the only way I’ve managed to work out intersecting masculine and curvy. I don’t want to cancel out my woman-ness; I just want to have it register as a kind of masculine form of power.

Maybe They Should Call It a Guy-line, Instead

Wow, this is depressing news. I’m especially embarassed because Harper’s is my favorite magazine, and has been for many, many years now. So much for my life-long dream of getting published in it.

Women’s Bylines Lacking in “Thought-Leader” Magazines

Women writers continue to be underrepresented at five of the top “thought leader” magazines. An update of a report in last winter’s Ms. magazine reflects that the number of women writers has not increased since last year.

In The Atlantic Monthly, Harper’s, The New York Times Magazine, The New Yorker, and Vanity Fair, women earned just 447 of the 1,446 bylines—about 31 percent. Harper’s had the most glaring disparity of men to women writers, with a ratio of seven to one. Moreover, women are often relegated to “hearth and home” stories, rather than to “hard-news” stories.
Ruth Davis Konigsberg, a deputy editor at Glamour and the author of the reports, points out that the number of women writers does not reflect the readership of these magazines. The New Yorker (with a byline ratio of four men to one woman) has a fairly gender-balanced audience of 1,799,000 women and 1,710,000 men. Vanity Fair, with a byline ratio of three men to one woman, has an opposite ratio in terms of readership: three women to one man.