Over at Daily Kos, tvb is writing an intersex diary. It’s written well, and the explanations are clear, and I’m thrilled that this information is getting across to such a large readership and a politically hip one, as well.
I’m looking forward to the other three installments.
Aurora, Feeling Better
Here she is, the kitty we rescued from the DO campgrounds, splayed out on Betty’s chair:
She’s put on nearly 2 lbs. since we rescued her, and is at her ideal weight now.
(Really) Living Will
I didn’t write this myself, but I wish I had.
I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who ouldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of timepasses and I fail to sit up and ask for:
(Please initial all that apply)
_________a martini,
_________a Dewars and Water
_________a Mojito,
_________a steak,
_________ The remote control,
__________ A bowl of ice cream,
_________ a Kualua on the rocks,
_________ Sex,
_________ Chocolate
then it should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes,and call it a day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the future of the millions of Americans who aren’t in a permanent coma.
Signature:___________________________
Date: ___________________________
Witness: __________________________
Five Questions With… Raven Kaldera
A female-to-male transgendered activist and shaman, Raven Kaldera is a pagan priest, intersex transgender activist, parent, astrologer, musician and homesteader. Kaldera, who hails from Hubbardston, Mass., is the founder and leader of the Pagan Kingdom of Asphodel and the Asphodel Pagan Choir. Kaldera has been a neo-pagan since the age of 14, when he was converted by a “fam-trad” teen on a date. His website, Cauldron Farm, contains extensive information about Pagan practice as well as his activist writings on transgender and sexuality topics.
Having met Raven and attended workshops he’s given, I’m always surprised that every time I see him I’m newly amazed by how much his presence is both strong and gentle. His answers, too, are of the ‘pulls no punches’ variety, without obfuscation, and he manages to explain complex ideas – about spirituality, sexuality, and identity – in plain language. Okay, I’m a fan! – I admit it!
1) I think the most vital thing I’d love for you to talk about is how most IS people view T issues, and whether or not they identify as T, and why.
Most intersexuals do not consider themselves transgendered, and are very uncomfortable being associated with the trans movement in general. I think a lot of this comes out of lifetimes of being shamed for being physically different; if it was a terrible thing that had to be medically corrected and then desperately hidden from the world, what’s up with these people with “normal” bodies who are seeking out changes? Not to mention that many IS folks view transpeople as freaks, and are desperate to be seen as “normal”.
The problem is with the cross-section. I don’t know how big that cross-section is, but there are more and more of us popping out all the time – IS folks who decide that they’d rather be a gender other than what they were assigned, and get sex reassignment, transsexuals who discover that they have IS conditions in the middle of their changes, and so forth. We make it difficult for either side to separate from each other. Our bodies are spread across that gap between the two movements. It’s important for me as one of those bridgers to be sensitive to the needs of both sides, getting in the way of the IS folks assumption that we’re freaks; getting in the way of the transfolks’ attempts to colonize the IS struggles.
Continue reading “Five Questions With… Raven Kaldera”
Need Your Letters
NYTRO (The NY Transgender Rights Organization) and Joann Prinzivalli are asking that people – gay, lesbian, CD, TG, TS, or anyone interested in justice – send a letter to one Judge Berry, who will be presiding over the case of Jason Bardsley, who killed crossdressing Dr. Robert Binenfield in December 2004.
You can find her sample letter on our boards, and more about the case in the thread where the post is located.
Thank for your help – and please tell others!
Larry David's Bra
I just received this letter from the one and only Miss Vera:
To Victoria’s Secret Corp.
Last night’s episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” will go down in crossdressers’ herstory as the night Victoria’s Secret invited men who like to wear bras to come in and try things on. Larry goes into the clearly marked Victoria’s Secret shop in order to buy a bra for his housekeeper and in the normal course of confusion, the saleswoman invites him to try on anything he likes. Students at Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls, NYC have told me that when shopping on their own, for themselves, they are treated with courtesy at Victoria’s Secret shops in locations across the country, but the invitation to try on is not so forthcoming. The experience I have had when taking a student shopping at V.S. is that the policy regarding try ons has not been consistent. How wonderful that managers and customers can now refer to this nationallly televised corporate seal of approval. It’s the usual smart marketing on your company’s part. Halloween is coming, the crossdressers’ national holiday, and, of course the party season follows, with lots of gift giving too. My advice to VS store managers: stock up on size 40B. Thanks Larry and thank you Victoria’s Secret for recognizing this sizeable segment of your customer base.
Cherchez la femme,
Veronica Vera
Dean of Students
Author & Founder
Miss Vera’s Finishing School For Boys Who Want to Be Girls
www.missvera.com
Miss Vera received the following response:
Dear Veronica,
Thank you for your e-mail regarding Victoria’s Secret Stores allowing men use of the dressing rooms. We are happy to assist you with your inquiry.
Victoria’s Secret does allow men to use our dressing rooms. However, because our primary target client is female and because of the sensitive nature of our product, there are specific guidelines for males in the dressing room areas. If a male client requests a dressing room at a busy time of day or there are female clients in the area, we ask him to come back at a time when the shop is less busy. If there are one or two females in the dressing rooms and it is a shop where there are additional dressing rooms free from female use, we will allow him to use a room free of female traffic. We hope this information is of use to you.
We value our reputation for excellent client service, and always take great interest and initiative in making changes which are beneficial to our clients.
We appreciate your comments and take them seriously. In fact, client suggestions and comments often provide direction for changes in future merchandise and services.
If you need further assistance, please reply to this e-mail or call anytime.
Thank you for shopping with Victoria’s Secret.
Sincerely,
Michelle B.
VictoriasSecret.com Client Services
Visit www.VictoriasSecret.com
Phone 1.800.475.1935 or (outside the U.S.) 1.937.438.4197
Fax 1.937.438.4290
The NY Post ran a story about this as well, which I’ve posted to the boards.
National Coming Out Day…
… is tomorrow. What are your plans for coming out – to whom? How? Why?
I’d love to hear some of your stories, about who you came out to, why and when and how.
But in the meantime, I compiled some resources last week for coming out.
Live Homosexual Acts (and in Cleveland, no less!)
I think this is my favorite National Coming Out Day idea I’ve seen so far. So yeah, Cleveland does rock.
Congratulations, Shannon Minter!
I just heard the news that Shannon Minter won a Ford Foundation award – specifically a ‘Leaders for a Changing World’ award.
A huge congratulations – and a thank you – to Mr. Minter and his ongoing work.
(You can read more about Minter and the award on the boards.)
The Beauty Myth, & Your Wife
I got involved in an altercation in another group I’m in (what a surprise, right?) when I was trying to explain why partners might be put off by yet another make-up seminar.
But it was a CD, ultimately, who explained it best, and I decided to post what she had to say, here:
Keep this in mind. Ponder these fantastically offensive ideas.
– The most important thing about a woman is her appearance. That trumps intelligence, character, spirit, etc.
– Her appearance is not appropriate as-is. She must buy stuff and spent large amounts of time using it. If she does not, she should be ashamed. If she does, well, she’s still not OK. After all, there’s always a better airbrushed model on every billboard.
Horrible, evil claims? Things that nobody in the trans community would be scummy enough to believe? Definitely. And yet pretty much every woman alive has been told these things – implicitly or explicitly. The process of being a mature woman includes learning to rebel against these evil ideas. Defending her spirit against this kind of garbage is CRUCIAL.
So, when you accidentally trigger those defenses by saying something that maybe shouldn’t be interpreted as promoting these evil attitudes – but, then again, understandably could be – CUT HER SOME SLACK. Don’t split hairs of wording with her and tell her she had no business perceiving offense. Tell her you’re on her side, and leave it at that.
Are her defenses too touchy? Her very soul depends on those defenses. Better she defend herself vigorously, and occasionally unnecessarily, than to give the garbage any chance for a toehold in her.
At the same time, I can see why you’re tempted to answer, “Don’t be offended!” Because we’d be ashamed to hold such attitudes, and we don’t like the thought that we came across as believing that even for a moment. But the better way to bolster womankind is not to get bogged down arguing in who should or shouldn’t have been offended, but all to affirm together that allthe synthetic trappings of femininity are for totally voluntary use as we each please.
– Jade Catherine, http://alum.mit.edu/www/rebar