that PBS show

Hello all! We’re going to be on TV!! (& not in Canada, either, but in the US, nationally)
The show is called “In the Life” and it’s a GLBT magazine hourly. They do shows around a theme, and then interview different types of people for different viewpoints about it. Our episode is called “Mergers & Acquisitions” and is about GLBT marriage.
Our little segment is called “Heterosexual Privilege” and the blurb is below. We are, of course, the “transgendered couple” they visit with:
For thirty years, transgendered people have legally married and many of these couples currently live in government-sanctioned same sex unions. However, the recent spotlight on same sex marriage rights has rendered these matrimonial pioneers vulnerable to attacks by the conservative right. In ‘Heterosexual Privilege’ In the Life looks at recent court cases and visits with a transgendered couple to find out why marriage matters.
WNET (13), Tues 9/6, 10pm
WLIW (21): Tuesday, 10/5, midnight
NJN (58): Mon, 9/6, 1am
NJN (50): Mon, 9/6, 1am
here’s the link to the show description:
(click on “Episode 1312: Mergers & Acquisitions” which is the name of our episode)
On the same page, you can put in your zip code to find out when it’s on in your area, if you’re not in this neck of the woods. Or, you can check the complete broadcoast list.
So set those VCRS, or TiVos, or whatever you use!
Helen & Betty

Website Updates

As you may have noticed, Betty & I have been updating the website. Mostly Betty does the work, for which I am eternally thankful.
Here are some new changes/section of the site:
Press Kit (lists my publications, events we’ve been to, print/radio/tv media we’ve appeared in, etc)
Praise for the book from the TG community, the publishing industry, & other assorted places
AND what you’ve all really been waiting for, photos!
4/18/06 Update: Helen Boyd’s Press Kit has been moved, as have the reviews of My Husband Betty.

Dark Odyssey in less than a month!

Betty & I are going to an amazing sexuality vacation called Dark Odyssey (where I’ll be talking about trans-sexuality, gender role play in the bedroom and other wonderfully erotic things). It’s an amazing group of presenters, and look at this list of topics!
Finding Your Own Erotic Path – Polyamory and Other Alternatives to Monogamy – Erotic and Spiritual Rituals – Urban Tantra – Sexuality in Wicca & Neopaganism – The Path to Expanded Orgasm – Sensual Massage – Transgender Sexualities – Oral Sex Techniques – Anal Pleasure – G-spot Stimulation and Female Ejaculation – Becoming a Multi-Orgasmic Man – Fantasy Role Playing – Vaginal and Anal Fisting – Dominance and submission – Spanking and Flogging – Bondage for Sex – Fire Play – When Slap, Kick and Slam Meet Sex – BDSM Spiritualities…
There’s less than a month left to register, so do! Right away! Come with a partner, or solo. All sexualities (homo, hetero, queer, mongamous, polyamourous, etc) are respected.
All that, and Kate Bornstein!
(And if you look closely at the groups list, you’ll see that MHB group is listed so you can get a discount!)

Out TG Politician running for Arizona House

Amanda Simpson, who transitioned about three years ago, is running for the Arizona House of Representatives and making history.
There’s a local story from news channel KOLD below, and you can donate to Ms. Simpson’s campaign via her website.
She happens to also be an old friend of Lacey Leigh, the author of Out & About and 7 Secrets of Successful Crossdressers, both of which I highly recommend.
Continue reading “Out TG Politician running for Arizona House”

Not In My Name

This is one of the many groups protesting the RNC holding their convention in NYC this September.
I think the RNC is trying to exploit the tragedy of 9/11, and it makes me ill – considering NYC still isn’t receiving Federal funding for anti-terrorist measures. (Wyoming gets more per capita than NYC does.)
So I’ve endorsed their call. Check out the information, come to a rally, tell the RNC to go home!
Not In Our Name

On Being a Writer (Mostly), or Why I Wrote This Book

A discussion on the MHB message boards has brought up the issue of whether or not MHB is some kind of TG “bible,” and I have to be honest that it’s completely weird for me to hear “bible” and my book in the same sentence.
Writing is such a tricky art – it doesn’t pay, takes years to get even a foot in the door, & then – when you’ve gotten published – you’re given tremendous authority for actually knowing something. That is, when you’re an aspiring, unpublished writer, you’re basically treated like some kind of freak and/or malconent, and after one book, you’re all of a sudden an upstanding member of society.
I have a sense of humor about it, of course.
I never intended my book to be any kind of bible. To me, the only goal of writing that matters is to present the truth as the writer sees it in as clear & unblemished a way as possible. It takes plenty of craft to do even that! I’d argue it takes the MOST craft to be able to do that; since as a smart person it’s very easy to become too sophisticated to know the truth when you see it.
I have only two rules for writing: 1) from Neil Gaiman, is that when you sit down to write you’re not allowed to get up or do anything else except make tea. 2) from Dorothy Allison, is that you have to wear your skin as thin as you can.
Being complimented on having the courage to share our lives with others in order to educate is always lovely. But as I recently said to Betty, I’m not sure why being honest about our lives is so remarkable. I have never felt ashamed of my husband, and never felt ashamed of any of the feelings I have had concerning his CDing. Feelings are never anything to be ashamed of, where I come from. The kinds of things people should be ashamed of – willful ignorance, greed, a lack of integrity – are rarely what they are embarassed about. Instead, they are embarassed to be sweet, loving, sympathetic. People are embarassed about being liberal! I don’t understand that, & never will.
But my point is – Betty & I knew full well that our privacy would only remain if others respected it. That was a chance we were willing to take. Shoot, we’d already been blackmailed! Once you’ve been through something like that, you realize the ONLY way to prevent it from having it happen again is that no-one has anything on you that you wouldn’t share yourself.
Plenty of people know our legal names: you can’t go to a TG conference without a credit card, & mine doesn’t say ‘Helen Boyd’! We just didn’t want to use our legal names publicly, as it were – on the book or on TV. Mostly that was to spare our families, & our nieces and nephews, from being associated with us without their choice.
My issue as concerns our privacy is more a political one: I don’t want to see the book discredited as not being by the wife of a CD because Betty is expressing gender dysphoric feelings and exploring them. I didn’t want some CDs (who already dislike what I’ve said about sex & other things) in the book to have found a reason to say that nothing in the book holds for CDs because my husband isn’t one. Many CDs have written to me now to tell me that considering transsexualism is in fact very much a part of the path of becoming a self-accepting CD. Considering transsexualism is certainly not grounds for not identifying as a CD.
But the book was never intended as some kind of bible. I wrote it for SOs, for CDs, & for a larger audience: therapists, sexologists, the larger GLBT community. For friends, families, allies. I wrote it because I found too much propaganda & doctrine within CD literature. If it becomes a good reference book for therapists, I’ll be pleased. If it helps couples talk over issues, I’ll be thrilled. If it helps CDs come to a place where they feel less shame and self-hatred, I’ll think I did a good thing. Ultimately, I wrote it because I don’t think there is anything bad about anyone – male or female – enjoying feeling pretty and embracing a softer side of themselves, and because I don’t think it’s bad to be turned on by something others arent’ turned on by. Mostly I wrote it because although crossdressing is not usual, it’s certainly not BAD.


It turns out the whole fiasco was caused by someone who self-confessed to not having realized that Betty is not on hormones and is not transitioning, nor that the information that we’re struggling with this wasn’t public knowledge.
And ironically, she was recommending my book to a new wife whose husband is not sure if he is CD or TS.
If only all such drama turned out so well.
Thank you all for your love and support and emails. I would have rathered this not be public, but now it is, and well – so it is.

Gossip & Calumny*

Okay, I’m definitely upset.
As of a few months ago, Betty & I both realized that she is struggling with issues of TGness, basically questioning if she is TS. She is decreasingly unhappy returning to guy mode, and started to express serious interest in transitioning (whether that would involve hormones, surgeries, or just social transition, we hadn’t a clue.)
So, I recently joined a list for partners of trans people – partners I could talk to who were in similar situations, to figure out what people were doing about job/family/sex, etc.
Today I heard from an old friend in the gender community that she has heard on another list that Betty is transitioning.
I know there are people out there who would have my head on a plate for having publicly & emphatically criticized Tri-Ess for being both trans- and homophobic in my book. But despite that, I didn’t expect for us to be gossiped about this way: surely anyone in the gender community knows how hard this is without me having to watch my back all the time!
I’m feeling like I have no choice but to keep my mouth shut on our own issues, and that hurts. Whoever it is out there that is doing this – spreading rumors to somehow squelch my credibility as the partner of a CD/TG – is a nasty piece of work. I’ll figure out where the leak is, eventually – of that there is no doubt.
Betty & I have always been honest about our struggles, and to realize this is the way one person has responded to my attempt to educate the greater population – and help people who are just finding out – really gets on my case.
For the record, Betty is not currently transitioning.
* cal-um-ny ( P ) Pronunciation Key (klm-n)
n. pl. cal-um-nies

1. A false statement maliciously made to injure another’s reputation.
2. The utterance of maliciously false statements; slander.

Preview of Fall events

I just wanted to let everyone know what we’re going to be up to this fall, as we love seeing old (and new) friends at these events. So here goes:
Dark Odyssey, September 9th – 15th
Southern Comfort, September 30th – October 3rd
Fantasia Fair, October 17th – 24th
Eureka En Femme Getaway, October 27th – 31st
We’ll also be on PBS’ GLBT show “In the Life” in September!
Betty performing at the FanFair Follies:
Betty at the FanFair Follies
Donna T, Betty, Helen and Vicky Lee of WayOut (UK):
at SCC
Us relaxing at SCC: