Coming Out Straight?

Really, has it come to this? Lifelong lesbian moves to SF & starts dating & having sex with men.

Except the title’s all wrong since it’s part of a series about bisexuality, in fact.

Still, I loved this:

As if the hot boi in the bow tie and suspenders would suddenly leap up and pronounce me a fraud between Le Tigre mashups.

Because of course that hot boi in the bow tie could very well be a fraud in ‘not queer enough’ sense she’s making reference to, and really, who cares anymore? Does anyone care? & Yes, I know they do. I know lesbians who married men who got endless shit about it, got called sellouts & worse. I know that to some people I am not queer enough & never will be.

But it’s so, so tiresome, all of us always explaining and defending our authenticity. So how’s this: what if we all just leave labels out of it & have sex with who we want?

I know, that’s just nuts, isn’t it?

2 Replies to “Coming Out Straight?”

  1. I have two lovely new friends, a man and a woman who met while the woman was identifying and living as a lesbian; she told me that she knew the second she met him that he was what she had been looking for, and that was that. She’s saddened by the fact that she’s seen as a “traitor” or “deluded” somehow. I think she just fell in love.

    I think we trans people are good for the strange interface between “gay” and “straight”; we often straddle both worlds and have the bravado of border-crossing outlaws. I have several heterosexual friends who can only be described as “queer” given who they are.

    You are one of the Queerest people I know, Helen. Screw what anyone else thinks.

  2. I don’t understand the process: It seems to me that people label themselves only to end up railing against labels at some point in their lives. It’s as if the label helps us grow as a person, until we grow beyond the label.

    The Gay Rights movement means nothing if the person who “Came out Straight” is not supported for whom she chose to date. As long as she is not turning her back on the previous life, such as preaching against the “gay lifestyle”, she is a pioneer.

    As for you, the best people in life defy being labeled. You are a scholar, and yet from your writings, I think you would be comfortable having drinks in a blue-collar bar on Friday afternoon. Continue on your life’s path, you are one of the good ones.

Leave a Reply