Bereft of Butches?

Posted by – September 16, 2013

This is a really great piece by a woman who has dated butches and trans men for most of her life, telling the brief story of how she came to understand why the lesbian community isn’t “missing” the butches who choose to transition.

She says:

Most trans men I know came out as lesbians, then claimed a butch identity, and then transitioned. Some of them have realized they never were attracted to women at all and are now gay men — this isn’t as odd as it might sound, if you accept that the lesbian community is the only safe space to explore gender, so it’s where many trans men start their journey.  

Maybe that’s why lesbians feel we’ve lost them: because we believed they were ours.

It is, overall, a great piece of writing, plainly laid out, touching on major objections and criticisms of trans inclusion, but it’s also got a light touch. It’s not an angry piece – if it’s anything, it’s got a tiny note of sad in it – not because of the perceived “loss” of butches, but because so many in the lesbian community don’t yet seem to get it.

4 Comments on Bereft of Butches?

  1. dana says:

    This bit cut to the bone: “To make such a decision is like jumping off a cliff with little idea what lies below, but knowing that not to make the leap is another type of agony.”

  2. Jude says:

    “…has dated butches and trans women…” – I looked and was unable to find evidence of the latter. Is this possibly a typo? Dating “butches and transmen” seems to make more sense.

    Always on the lookout for folks who profess to “dating transwomen”….

  3. helenboyd says:

    Jude – sorry, you’re right. My error. Corrected now.

  4. Jude says:

    Just this little candle of hope and….gone :)

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