This is a really fascinating article written by a trans person and sent to me by one too, and it echoes a lot of the thought and sentiment of the MHB Boards over the years.
But it’s true that, before I said it, I carefully mined my personal history for examples of how I was never really a girl. And when I presented my decision to transition to my friends and family, it was with the “always knew” narrative well rehearsed. In that, I’m like almost every other trans* person I’ve ever talked to about the coming out process.
Why is “I always knew” the common narrative? Why do so many of us tell some version of that story even if it isn’t true?
Which brings me to a question I want to leave with you: Why are we, as transgender people, challenged by others to prove that we really are who we say we are? Why do we feel this reflexive need to prove our genders beyond a shadow of a doubt? Because when we find ourselves backed into the “I always knew” corner, we end up doing the same thing we did all those years we were trying to fit the gender we were assigned at birth: repressing an essential part of ourselves for fear it will betray us.
But of course I will add, as a cis ally, that hey, trans people: forgive yourself for wanting stuff to not suck sometimes and so doing what needs to be done to get your transition to happen. Honestly, it’s the rest of us who are inconsistent assholes for not just being cool with it.
But either way, Zach McCallum: well done.