That Salon Piece

Since what I’ve written here has now been commented on elsewhere, I will write more about the experience of loss when you’re the loved one of a trans person.

Y’all are going to force me to write another book, you know?

Honestly, you’d think being an ally for umpteen years would enable someone to come up with something a little better than “she blames the dad too.” I don’t. I blame the un-critical use of trans narratives that don’t account for the actual loss experienced by the loved ones of trans people – the loss especially experienced by those of us who stick by you through transition.

So I’ll say more, since I am also actually in mourning, and goddamn do I know the difference between the loss that comes with transition & the loss that comes with an actual death.