Trans Partners: Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

Posted by – October 11, 2010

Hey, lovers of trans people! Come out about your desires today for National Coming Out Day! Celebrate the beauty of trans bodies and souls, no matter their shape or size or color.

There’s not enough of us out.

Here’s an exercise I ask trans partners to do when they’re feeling isolated: imagine you are Professor Charles Xavier and you’ve got that fabulous helmet — except instead of finding mutants, it helps you find other partners of trans people.

3 Comments on Trans Partners: Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

  1. elf raven says:

    Yo Helen.

    Dunno if this counts, and it’s like years late anyhow. I have a girlfriend who is pretty much a man 95% of the time, but a woman about 5% of the time. She has her “kit” in my house. She sends me letters in “her” name. We write stories about the marriage we plan to have. Some of it’s philosophy, some smut – the usual mixed bag that life is, I guess.

    The other 95% of the time, my girl lives as a man with a wife who’s a pretty conservative lady, as far as I can tell. She says her wife told her she would “have to pack her bags” if she ever transitioned. That conversation ended with some shouting along the lines of “I’m no lesbo!” Ouch. Still, my girlfriend stays with her wife.

    On one hand, this is my first ever happy relationship. Everything’s different . . .who knew? I love being dominant. I love having a pretty partner. I love seeing her dress up. I love how she thinks my professional skills are DA BOMB and doesn’t feel jealous at all. I love making love to her en femme. And opening doors for her, and and and and . . .

    On the other hand, some days I just feel like another toy in the “kit,” a sort of prop for when my girl just can’t stand being a man any more.

    Ouch.

    If she could read this — and hell, she may read this — I should tell her I know she doesn’t mean it to feel like that. I should tell her I know she has a loyal and deeply loving heart — in many directions.

    It’s just hard.

  2. helenboyd says:

    elf

    i’m sorry: that’s kind of a sucky situation, being someone’s “escape clause” instead of their mainstay. still, you know you get something like an authentic self.

    whatever that means.

    to be honest, i’ve never quite shaken the “prop” feeling.

    helen

  3. elf raven says:

    Sending you something via email; no need to respond, there or here, but maybe if I let you know, it won’t be taken as spam. And thanks!

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