For the record, if you are a straight person, and have never been in a same sex relationship, identified as queer, or been visibly queer, you do not know for sure that your friends, family or colleagues are not homophobic. Nor do you know if local businesses are, or are not, gay friendly.

I would like to apologize right here & now if I ever thought I knew those things before being half of a same sex couple.

Helen Boyd

is the author of My Husband Betty and She's Not the Man I Married.


  1. That said, don’t mistake ambivalence for opposition. Some people understand and aren’t against you, they’re just not interested because it’s not their life. But then tolerance is often hidden in apparent acceptance. Turn your back or leave and they’re different.

  2. absolutely, SusanK. sometimes there’s just discomfort, or a lack of familiarity, which is entirely different than moral judgment/homophobia.

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