Dinner and Conversation

Last night I was taken out to dinner by a partner who is local to where I’m teaching during the week. She told me she was surprised I was willing to go to dinner with someone I’d never met before, & as she was saying it, I thought, ‘If only I had a trust fund, I wouldn’t do anything but meet with partners and give them someone to talk to.’

Because her story was like so many stories of partners: her trans person didn’t like to talk about it, only one friend knew who even kind of understood, and everyone else in their lives, she feared, would completely freak out if they knew.

So it is nice to go out and just listen to someone who needs to talk, to validate their experiences in whatever ways I can, & really, more than anything, provide a real flesh & blood person instead of a cold computer screen.

3 Replies to “Dinner and Conversation”

  1. It’s neat that you do this; having been pretty out and open for a long time, I think I (we?) forget about how alone and lonely it is to be isolated and without resources…..

  2. Helen,

    I can’t tell you how special it is that you take the time to listen to someone who just needs the empathy. All of us can certainly agree how wonderful it is to have someone listen .

    And to have someone who WANTS to listen.

    And to have someone who really gives a damn about our words.

    And us.

    It’s such a simple human need.

    Why is it so rare in this world??

    Even with all the other field marching you’ve done as an example……….. this is the reason I know you’re one special human being.

    Thanks Helen,


  3. as the transperson … of a failed (well, does any relationship that raised two great kids … grown and fine … deserve the term failed? but, we are not together, at least in part because of my being) marriage, i sometimes wonder why i feel so passionately about the partners of relationships like these (and yours) but i do. i think part of it is that it mystifies me. but, i am so appreciative that, still, they exist. it gives me hope, for the future, perhaps. i have spoken to, and/or communicated with partners who have spoken with and/or communicated with you helen, and they are universally thankful that you are there for them. so i would like to say thanks too.
    i also want to thank you for your donation to the Southern Comfort Conference of several signed copies of “she’s not the man i married” . i am one of the proud recipients of a copy. i will treasure it. i’ve but begun to read it … but i find it of great interest. i was also bold enough, and lucky enough to talk to some of your friends who were there …. Jenny, and Vanessa among them … if caring friendship were tender in this country, i believe you would be wealthy. take care and thanks again,

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