helen boyd's journal of gender & trans issues
Well, what’d you think?
You were great, as I posted elsewhere, I’m proud of you both.
As I mentioned on the board, I loved it! It was honest, heartfelt, and…well, I’d never heard Betty’s “boy” voice before. I heard some definite theatre training in that voice.
I was proud and happy for the two of you. Fortunately, Ablow’s show plays here in Brown and Flat, so I taped it for Else. 🙂
Sadly we didn’t get it in Canada. Is there any way someone could upload it for anyone who missed the show?
Betty needs to work on her voice; it’s very disorienting to see a deep manly voice come from an otherwise pretty and feminine person. I’m also concerned because I still sense a guy enjoying presenting as a girl but not girly to her core, hence the manly voice. Betty, whatever you do, do not attempt transition until you are 100% woman to the core; you will know that moment by the womanliness in your voice.
I thought you were both fantastic. Congratulations!
C and i thought you were both fantastic, really conveying all the subtle points, complexities, and nuances of transness as you live it, while your love for each other showed so clearly with every little smile, hand gesture, and playful smirk. we are so, so proud of you, too. 😀
love, a and c.
I wish I was a speed reader. If I was I would never have missed the show — I had previously decided that I couldn’t register if I hadn’t read the entire book (She’s not the man I married) first. Well I’m done with it now!
Waking up to “Gold diggers of 1935” on TCM may have had something to do with it as well. I couldn’t stop. But I usually do watch stuff like Dr. Keith Show on the mornings of my days off which is why I’m so disappointed.
It really would be very nice if someone could post it to youtube.com or something. Maybe drop a link here…wink wink. Am I giving anyone some ideas??? 😀
a friend is putting it up on youtube tomorrow am, so stay posted for the link.
Betty doesn’t really cop to that kind of stuff; rather, we both acknowledge that she is trans & doesn’t need to be 180 proof woman in order to live a good life & be respected & out.
& Obviously making a judgement based on 15 minutes of somene’s appearance on a tv show is not quite the same as knowing them in person, over time.
Anyway, she did her guy voice on purpose. Not for the shock value, but because it demonstrated that she’s willing to accommodate my needs, too.
& frankly, i love that she’s all her instead of conforming to someone else’s idea of what a woman, or a trans woman, is supposed to be.
I thank your friend! Now I have My husband Betty to look forward to and I get to see the tv appearance YAY! (Borders only got the book in today, that’s why I read the last book first.)
I watched the show with Tasha, and we both thought you were both awesome.
Of course, while Tasha and I were watching it, she kept saying “Ive met them and Helen gave me her Roses.”
That was amazing. I’m sharing it with everyone I know. My favorite part was when Betty said “If I have a goal, it’s to stay married.” And a collective relief went sighing over the land…
What VivaZoya said – the love just showed through from both of you. What you demonstrated here is what a potent mix of love, communication, and compromise can do. It was very moving to me.
As others have already noted, I thought you were fantastic! THANKS to you both for sharing your love, pain, and journey through life together! (echo also what VivaZoya and tianasim02 say)…
How do you feel it went in the big picture, combined with the info shared by Rene/Wona and Josef? I thought your points were clear, but… did the message get through?
Hopefully the obvious points you made and your message will get through to those in the studio and watching on TV. What I found annoying and distracting were the continual clips, pics and refs to “Almost Myself”, and others that weren’t shown or discussed as part of the program. A “casual” viewer might get “lost” with all the pics and stories, and lose the information and the discussions of the three groups that were interviewed. What were your perspectives on this?
I also found Dr Keith’s tone a bit “strained” at times; e.g. responding “Oh, that’s moving…”, and the continued focus on genitals=sex and below-the-waist issues. These q’s indicate to me many people can’t get beyond an “OMG” reaction, looks, and perceptions. Perhaps it is simply just the format of talk show. Did you get any feedback/Q’s from the studio audience off the air? It was too bad Dr. Keith didn’t discuss where to get more information at the very end of the show, e.g. web links, mention your books, etc.
PS- Guess I need to get back on the boards to discuss this in more detail… I’ve been away for awhile.
You know, Helen. I saw the Dr. Ablow video again on YouTube, and I was too hasty in my judgement. You are correct and I apologize. And just to let you know, my wife and i (and my feminine alter-ego) have been married over 30 years. Like Betty, the most important thing was to preserve the marriage, but that meant certain compromises like no hormones or implants or sex with men, or full-time living as a woman. There have been years when the urge to fully transition has been so strong i’ve considered breaking the compromise–and i’ve gone to the edge but always managed to step back. I’m glad I did. I always have to remember that I did not marry a lesbian and no amount of living with the feminine me is going to change that. Good luck. I hope you two can continue to work things out, but if you don’t, I’m sure you will always be soulmates, maybe only as girlfriends and not as husband and wife, but that would be ok, too.
Congrats to you both, you were great. Very inspiring indeed. I’m 110% behind VivaZoya’s comment about the favorite part, quote: “if I have a goal, itâ€™s to stay married”. Like it or not, the “role model” label just got a bit deeper, no?
And as far as I’m concerned, even if it’s the first time I watch this show, he’s Mr. Keith from that point on. (yeah, of course he’s got ratings to worry about…. LOL!)
Dr Keith was on at 2:30 am in my area. I taped it. I think your relationship is a great example of love. Love is letting go and holding on at the same time. It is not easy.
I wish the whole show had been devoted to your situation. When these talk shows bring on more than one story, no one story gets its full due. However, even with the time constraints, I thought many issues were covered and Dr Keith did an okay job of getting to the point.
here it is:
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