Passing for Couples

I was just now re-drafting one of my chapters, when out of the blue it occurred to me that one of the issues for a (female + mtf) couple making it through transition (social, medical or otherwise) is the ability to pass as a lesbian couple. I know about all the “like sisters” people; they’re all well and good and don’t have to pass as anything but friends (or sisters, obviously). But for those of us who still want a publicly visible, romantic and sexual relationship, what we’re effectively looking to do is pass as a lesbian, or bisexual, or queer couple. In order to do that, I think you have to know something about what lesbian, bisexual, and queer couples are like, no?

Helen Boyd

is the author of My Husband Betty and She's Not the Man I Married.


  1. Absolutely. And that used to worry me. My former partner certainly had no trouble fitting in, and we were always welcome in lesbian spaces, but I never thought for a second that I “passed as a lesbian.” Except with my partner. Which, at the time, was all that really mattered, I guess.


  2. I agree, as early as I am in transition, my fiance and I face the difficulty a lot. She and I are both pansexual but we are precieved as a hetro couple, but see ourselves as a lesbian couple. Lots of wierdness.

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