Well folks, it’s time for me to disappear into my (sadly, only metaphorical) cabin. I have a lot more work to do on She’s Not the Man I Married, so I won’t be as ‘around’ as usual. (I also won’t be as round, as I’ve lost 8 lbs. and nearly 4″ since March 19th, ha.)

So if I don’t answer an email, or host chat, or post here so much, or on the boards: please understand it’s because I’ve shut myself up in the cabin in my head, turned off the phone, and am writing, writing, writing.

I will try to post some previews as soon as I get word of when the official pub date will be.

Paper Lanterns

Someone recently wrote to me to thank me for a piece I’d posted on the boards, so I thought I’d share it here for those of you who are not board readers:

sometimes life is about understanding your own mythology, your own story. at different times in your life those stories change. from warrior to princess to wizard to crone. & i don’t think there’s any harm in seeing those stories, or of taking a lot of painful things – like the death of a son, or transness itself – and translating those things into something comprehensible for yourself, something that gives your life meaning, and maybe even purpose.

some people are practical-minded and only want to count the beans. others find more meaning in going a little hungry and burying a few to see if something grows.

i just think, sometimes, that we are too demanding that people always see the harsh, bare bulb of fact. life is hard enough. sometimes we’re all a little blanche debois, and want the paper lantern.

There She Goes, Thinking Again

I think if transwomen are going to lay down the law about needing a _______ (a vagina, or breasts, or hormones) in order to be considered a woman, they damn well better be prepared for other kinds of women to exclude them from the category for not having _________ (ovaries, a uterus, a cervix, fallopian tubes, two XX chromomones, etc.).

Five Questions With… Lisa Jackson

lisa jackson

Lisa Jackson was born in Fayetteville, Georgia, and her first
venture into rock n roll was as a Christian rocker. But at the age of 21 she followed her star to New York, where she formed the Steve Friday band. In 2000, she did her first gig in drag, and eventually began to transition in a very public kind of way. With the support of several downtown notables, like Jayne County,
Lisa has gone on to not only become a fantastic role model for the trans community but a fantastic rock n roller in her own right. Her band, Lisa Jackson + Girl Friday, regularly play gigs in New York and beyond, and her CDs rock. Her “Fabulously Done is also the endpage of My Husband Betty. If you’re in New York City during May, you can catch them on Monday nights at Arlene’s Grocery.

1) As a fellow 80s kid, which were your bands? Which band did you love that might surprise people the most? Were you Punk or New Wave?

Well the band that tops my list from that era would be Van Halen and that would be the David Lee Roth era only! But I was also a big fan of Men at Work, Till Tuesday, and even Journey.

Continue reading “Five Questions With… Lisa Jackson”

Congratulations, Donna!

As of tomorrow, Donna – one of our board regulars, and a friend – will have been living full-time for a year. She’s had more than her share of trials and tribulations, yet she has come through it with grace and empathy for others.

Congrats, Donna – from me, and Betty, & your friends on the boards.

They Kill Horses, Don’t They?

It’s come to my attention that people who use Premarin may not be aware that they are directly causing the slaughter of mares and fillies. I thought this information was well-known by now, but apparently not.

Since Premarin is created from the urine of pregnant mares, these horses are now created for the sole purpose of harvesting their urine. They’re forced to stand their entire lives in narrow stalls, get little to no exercise, and don’t get as much water as they want. Then, after they’re too old to get pregnant, or too sore to keep standing, they’re slaughtered.

It’s inhumane.

It’s especially brutal considering that the same hormones can be created using plant hormones.

So go right back to your doctor who gave you the prescription for Premain, and ask for one of these instead:

* Cenestin
* Estrace
* Estraderm
* Ogen
* OrthoEst
* Estratab
* Menest
* Estinyl
* Estrovirus
* OrthoDienestrol
* Tace

For more information, you can read the site. They’ll even give you a pin to wear if you switch.

Saturday Night

Saturday night, Betty and I went to a birthday party for the President of NCTE that was also an NCTE fundraiser, and while we didn’t stay long, we did manage to find Michelle and Mara Keisling – and took them with us to Silver Swan once Betty and I paid for one beer + one glass of wine that cost us $17.

We met a CD from Chicago named Rebecca while we were there, & she took a nice photo of the bunch of us, and since she got everyone’s permission to post it on her blog, I thought I’d cross-post it here:

swan group

Back Row: Betty, Michelle
Front Row: Helen, Mara, Michelle, Jamie, Rebecca.

We didn’t stay till 6am with all of them, but we did go home awfully late & awfully drunk. (Okay, well I was drunk, but that’s because I haven’t adjusted to how fast I get drunk now that I’m dieting & can’t eat a bowl of pasta before I go out = cheap date.)

& No, we’re never going back to Crobar again. Way too bridge and tunnel for me, and I hate clubs where everyone’s wearing jeans and t-shirts. BOring. Though while we were in a cab, an SUV full of party girls started emptying its contents, groups of two & threes of these trashy looking girls, & they just kept coming until it was like a skank version of a clown car. Very amusing.

Whew! We Have a Winner!

After much emailing, head-scratching, polling, and wondering, we finally have a title – and subtitle – for my new book.

She’s Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband

Alas, in my notes this book will always be Boy Meets Girl, because it’s just too easy to put ‘BMG’ at the top of a page of my journal when I’ve got a new idea for the book. Maybe I’ll name one of the chapters Boy Meets Girl, instead.

Wow, do I hate titles. Now all we have to do is figure out what to put on the cover… oy.

Aurora Update

I had the extreme pleasure of taking our little fireball Aurora to the vet a couple of days ago, and honestly, if she had been a human child and I her mother I would have been terrifically embarrassed by her bad behavior.

She was okay going there – seems to like the car ride, actually – and even in the waiting room and waiting in the exam room. After sniffing out the whole place she actually laid down on the exam room floor, not a care in the world. Of course the vet did show up eventually, and then… the fun began. For everyone. Aurora is apparently of the mindset that if she’s going to have a bad time then everyone else is, too.

cats and couch

She hisses and spits and lunges to take bites. She kicks with her clawed back feet and smacks with her front declawed paws. She growls and grumbles and howls and twists and spins and will not stay put. The vet had to listen to her heart rate between low growls (ie, when Aurora had to stop growling a moment to breathe). She hissed when she checked her ears, and then – oddly enough – was quite still when they put the thermometer in her butt. (Betty thinks she’s just smart, and knew she’d hurt herself if she moved too much while it was in her!)

Now this is a 10 lb. cat. Two adults had her triply wrapped in a towel, with one adult, experienced tech holding down her front half (the poor woman) and the vet herself holding down Aurora’s hind quarters with one hand & trying to alternately draw blood/give her shots with the other. What should have taken all of five minutes took about 20, and other techs and vets kept coming to the windowed door of the exam room to find out who was torturing that poor cat.

Ah, she is a redhead.

The good news is that she’s now fully vaccinated and all her bloods are good, which means: she is a healthy 2 or 3 year old (we’ll never know for sure). And I’m pleased. She is not one bit grateful, but she is letting me touch her and pet her today, so apparently she forgave me my part in it.

But wow. For cat lovers out there: she really was something to behold. I couldn’t help but feel a kind of perverse pride in her for taking no prisoners. But we’re also quite proud of having nursed her back to health, and having her become a healthy, cantankerous, fireball of a kitty.

Now I will make sure to make an appointment with the same vet for the boys, as a kind of consolation prize, since they are the most calm, mellow kitties a vet ever examined.

Wolfpit Shows Left

Since it’s already a couple of weeks into Wolfpit‘s short run, I thought I’d post a reminder that you should get tickets now!

The remaining shows are:

April 20, 21, 22, 27, 28, 29 at 8pm
April 16, 23, 30 @ 3pm (Sunday shows are the only matinees)

May 4, 5, 6 at 8pm

So do buy your tickets now.

If you need more convincing, there’s the NY Sun’s good review, Gothamist’s expectations of a good play, and another good review from

Pretty Boy Voice

So Betty & I both agree that Steve Miller Band is really fun music to listen to, and maybe the kind of music that people wouldn’t expect us to like. But we do, pretty regularly, & everytime we listen to him I’m struck by how damn sexy his voice is.

But today I also noticed – while once again noticing how sexy his voice is – that it’s damn high-pitched for a guy. You might even say it’s a pretty voice. That’s his singing voice I’m talking about; I have no idea what his speaking voice is like.

Put that next to Kathleen Turner’s voice, though, and you’ve got a deep woman’s voice that’s also considered very sexy. My point? None in particular, but if I can encourage more transwomen to drop the high pitched voices I’d be pleased indeed (& in good company, finally).

Turn of the Century Tranny

three boys

The photo is of three Yale students, c. 1883, which I found courtesy of Staci’s blog, Passing Interest, where she notes that:

A Yale dean ruled that no member of the Yale Dramatic Association could impersonate a female on stage for more than two consecutive years ‘because continued impersonation tended to make men effeminate.'”

Slippery slope, indeed.

You can find more history of crossdressing at Yale at the Larry Kramer Initiative site. I recommend reading the whole of these archives of LGBT history at Yale, but if you don’t have time to read the whole thing, do at least check out the entry about two trans Yale alums.

Trans-Trans Relationships

At the IFGE was the second time recently that I was reminded that when talking about trans relationships, I had failed to mention trans-trans ones. (The first time was at my TransNYC presentation.)

My apologies – I’ll try to get my act together on that one. I’d love to hear from any of you who are trans and who are in or who have been in a relationship with another trans person, no matter if it was a sexual relationship along the lines of a one-night stand or a LT platonic relationship/living situation, or anything inbetween.