I read an FAQ at the Human Rights’ Campaign’s website yesterday about Nat’l Coming Out Day, and was quite pleased to see that ‘transvestite’ made their short list of transgender categories.
What occurred to me is that it would be great if crossdressers could really rally to coming out to someone this year: a wife, if she doesn’t know yet; children or parents, or more likely, a friend. Even if you’re not ready for that, you could come out to a stranger: go buy those size 11 pumps and tell the clerk at Payless (or Kenneth Cole) they’re for you!
Of course there are a million reasons to come out (a bunch of them are in the FAQ above) but I think the best reason is it can make YOU feel better. In the long run, of course, every crossdresser who comes out makes some other crossdresser’s life a little bit easier. (Shoot, look at how liberating Eddie Izzard’s being out has been for so many of us! But more on him some other time.)
So what do you think? Will you come out to someone this October 11th?
Hey all, Betty here. We’re in the midst of updating the site. We’ve added this shiny new blog interface for Helen to use and keep y’all up to date with the book and other things.
The forums are still here. Just down for the moment.
When the word came in that Tom Daschle was worried, I knew we were in for it. I couldnâ€™t help but think: now heâ€™s worried? He didnâ€™t worry when all the Democratic Senators (himself included) voted for war in Iraq. He didnâ€™t worry when the Dems didnâ€™t bother to make a big issue of corporate thievery, nor did he listen to Ralph Nader when Ralph â€“ good citizen that he is â€“ handed the Democratic Party the real issues on a plate. No, Tom Daschle didnâ€™t worry until he realized his political ambitions might be thwarted. Now heâ€™s worrying, and now itâ€™s too late. Thereâ€™s no need to worry now.
Weâ€™ll be going to war with Iraq. The working-class sons and daughters who enlisted in order to get college tuition will die, as will thousands of Iraqi citizens who are already dying of the harsh embargos weâ€™ve had on that country. We voted for war because weâ€™re scared â€“ scared of terrorists, scared of paying too much for gas. There is no single American â€“ not one â€“ that believes weâ€™re going to Iraq in order to oust a nasty dictator. There is no-one so naÃ¯ve. Bushâ€™s approval ratings â€“ and his partyâ€™s election night coup â€“ is a reflection of Americansâ€™ state of mind. They will have gas for their SUVs. They will not take no for an answer.
Besides, war is good for the economy, and really itâ€™s the only way a Republican President has ever made the economy work. Theyâ€™re not innovators; theyâ€™re tribal leaders, paid assassins. They know how to beat the drums, how to instill fear, how to package it all with a wallop of Good Christian Values and unquestioning Patriotism. (Did someone say Jingoism? Not me.)
We do not have a culture of compassion. We do when the cruel hand of Nature comes down & splits the land in two. We do when the cruel hand of Fundamentalism flies planes into our buildings and kills innocents. We do, too, when a family member is sick, when Sharon Osborne shares her diagnosis, when Tom divorces Nicole. When the violins swell, and the tissues are passed around, Americans are good at sympathy.
For a Christian nation, itâ€™s especially ironic that we have no ability to understand that our lives â€“ how we live on a day to day basis â€“ are the real test. Thatâ€™s where we fail miserably. We choose cheap gas over Iraqi childrenâ€™s lives; we choose cheap clothes over Philippino womenâ€™s rights; we choose charity instead of any solution to share our piece of the pie. I donâ€™t think these are actual conscious choices per se. We have no ability to think abstractly, to connect the dots. We never ask if private school vouchers undercut our democracy, or whether we can do without one more disposable whatever in order to save our ground water.
Iâ€™m beginning to see itâ€™s not a lack of education (as I used to believe), or a lack of values. We believe in doing what we should for oneâ€™s neighbors, in generosity, in those basic Christian values politicians love to harp on about. Where we fail â€“ where itâ€™s easiest to fail â€“ is in actually living those values, in considering, with each & every decision we make, whether or not our choices have impact elsewhere. I do not stand a distance apart to throw these stones; I throw them from my own glass house. Sure, I donâ€™t own a car but thatâ€™s because I live in NYC where public transit gets me everywhere I need to go. To boot, Iâ€™m not a Christian and have no urge or dictum to live by Christian values. This country that just voted for war, does. They believe in Jesus, in the life he lived, in the forgiveness he showed others, in his radical acceptance and love of the cast-offs. They believe, they say, in peace.
But peace is an abstraction, and cheap gas is not.