Category: trans

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ABC on Trans Couple Story

Somewhere in the last week’s insanity I did an interview with Susan James of ABCNews.com about a recent article published in the Boston Globe by a journalist whose husband transitioned from male to female.

It was a lovely interview, and quite a few things I said I can see reflected in the story (such as the suspicion of the 55% statistic).


An estimated 45 percent of those surveyed said that their relationship with a spouse or partner ended because of their transgender identity. Surprisingly, 55 percent, stayed on or their relationship ended for other reasons, according to that report.

But those like Diane who have gone through transition with a loved one, say it is a long and painful process — and most spouses leave the marriage.

ABC has a few other good clips up as well, so do go check out the article. If you’re the type, thank James for doing such a good job with the story. She’s covered trans issues before and really seems to get it.

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Best LGBTQ Books?

What struck me most about these lists of Top 5 LGBTW books by prominent LGBTQ authors is the very regular appearance of James Baldwin. I prefer Another Country but it and Giovanni’s Room are both fine, fine novels.

I do have a list of trans books. It does need updating, but a lot of the ones I’ve reviewed are still excellent choices. I’ve recently read Nick Krieger’s Nina Here Nor There
and Justin Bond’s Tango, and my reviews of those will appear in an upcoming issue of make/shift. If there are any books you’d like to see me review, let me know.

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DC Trans Woman Murdered: Lashay McLean

DC Trans Coalition has just reported the death of another young trans woman.

Washington, DC – In the early hours of Wednesday, July 20th, 2011, Lashay Mclean, a 23 year old transgender woman, was murdered in Northeast DC. The murder took place near the Wanda Alston House, a housing program for homeless LGBTQ youth operated by Transgender Health Empowerment (T.H.E.). Another trans woman was present during the attack and, thankfully, escaped. The Metropolitan Police Department has no leads or possible motives, and has not classified Lashay’s murder as a hate crime.

Lashay was a friend to many people in the community – including several DC Trans Coalition (DCTC) organizers who offer our sincerest condolences to those grieving this loss. We must stress once again the absolute necessity for the police and media to respect Lashay’s gender identity. The least we can do to honor her memory is to respect her chosen, lived identity.

While nothing can bring back those we have lost or undo the suffering, we can and should confront the daily terror and anxiety that trans and gender non-conforming people face. We can do this by building networks of mutual support and solidarity that sustain our efforts to feel safe and make change. Together, we must challenge the institutional racism, poverty, transphobic attitudes, lack of social services, criminalization of sex work, and other policies that jeopardize our security.

We demand that MPD make finding Lashay’s killer a top priority, lest she become a repeat of the unsolved 2009 lethal stabbing of Tyli’a “NaNa Boo” Mack in broad daylight, or the 2010 assault of Chloe Moore by an off-duty MPD officer who has not been charged in the case. “Lashay’s murder is yet another visceral reminder that transgender women are consistently placed in dangerous situations. These acts of violence are not isolated incidents. The recent findings of the DC Trans Needs Assessment show trans communities in DC have overwhelming concern for our physical safety,” said Sadie Ryanne Vashti, a DCTC organizer who knew Lashay. “Regardless of the individual motive in this case, our lives are institutionally marginalized and regarded as expendable. This makes trans women – especially women of color and those involved, or presumed to be involved, in the sex industry – far more susceptible to violence.”

We continue to hope for a future where there are no more senseless and violent deaths in our communities. Lashay’s memory will strengthen our resolve to continue surviving, supporting one another, and struggling for a better world. There will be a vigil July 23rd at 7pm on the 6100 block of Dix Street NE, the site where Lashay was killed.

Some days, working in and for the trans community is the saddest work. Love to all who knew Lashay.

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Apology from OUT!Wear

The letter and apology from Maria Nasca of OUT!Wear:

14 July 2011

To our LGBT Community;

Please let me begin by saying it was never my intent to alienate our community or promote hate in any manner. Believe it or not, I had no idea of the gravity of this very political issue and the hurt it would cause. As a businessperson working in this community for the last 17 years, I have received many amazing inquiries, ideas and suggestions via my website to design and produce many products that I now currently sell.

As of late, I have received many inquiries to design and develop the WBW line of products for my customers. However, I was not as informed about this issue as I am today. It was an emotional reaction/business decision and NOT an informed action to develop this line further, and for that I truly apologize. No articles of the product line have been produced, and I have made the decision to discontinue it in the spirit of repairing and healing any damages that may have occurred as a result of this uninformed decision.

Please do not interpret my silence up till now as anything other than needing time to take this in, educate myself and create a thoughtful and respectful response. Continue reading “Apology from OUT!Wear”

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WBW Update

One of my readers wrote to OUT!wear about the “women born women” issue. Ze wrote them a note that included this smart paragraph:

How many times must a trans people be told to “accept what God gave them” or “just be the way you’re supposed to” before we acknowledge that any connection made between birth and gender is a harmful one? It wasn’t long ago that society would have almost unanimously told LGB individuals similar sentiments. “No, you were made to be with a man/woman.” “God made man for woman, and woman for man.” “Why can’t you do what nature intended?” Why would a company, one ran by people who have no doubt been hurt by these sorts of attitudes, endorse such similar rhetoric?

Ze received this email from Maria Nasca of OUT!Wear:

thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. your message was very well written and took some time – thank you for that! YOU definitely made an impact on me. it was never my intent to hurt or alienate our community and believe it or not i had no idea as to what this REALLY meant to everyone. you are the 1 and only message i have responded to so far, because of your kind tone. trust this will get sorted and lets pray for a good outcome. i have taken these items down off both pages and will issue a statement TONIGHT!

So now we await the statement, but the items are down.

Thank you, Maria!

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‘Realness’ as Reality

‘Realness’ may be a ball contest category, but when it turns into a litmus test, it’s a bullying stick.

Tobi Hill Meyer has pulled together a list of what it means to be a “real” transsexual woman. Here are a few:

You’re not a real transsexual woman if you transitioned after 45 (or 35, or 25, or 18 depending on who you ask)
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you ascribe to feminist gender deconstruction theory
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you buy clothes in the men’s department
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you don’t have a GI/GID diagnosis or can’t afford the process to get one
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you are caught without makeup on
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have facial or body hair that you don’t shave
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have facial or body hair that you have to shave
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you don’t wear dresses and skirts all the time
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you never crossdressed before transitioning
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have ever identified as a crossdresser
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you become sexually aroused while wearing women’s clothing
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have sex with men
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have sex with women
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you are not sexually available to men
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have sex using a strap on
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have sex
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you allow yourself to be seen naked before vaginoplasty or with anything others might consider a penis
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have ever done sex work
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you haven’t considered suicide
You’re not a real transsexual woman unless your only alternative to transition is suicide
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you’re still attending Southern Comfort
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you didn’t keep up with your dilation
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you are not stealth
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you are stealth
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you’ve been to camp trans
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you perform as a drag king
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you have ever performed as a drag queen
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you ever pee standing up
You’re not a real transsexual woman if you play sports (no exceptions for being on the women’s rugby team, but maybe for softball)

She points out that most cis women wouldn’t pass these tests, even the ones that aren’t trans specific. One of the things I feel like I say over & over again is that all women, trans and non-trans, can fail the test called “woman”. Plenty of us do on a regular basis.  Obviously her comments come out of this whole transgender/transsexual argument, which tires me.

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TNR Cover Story on Trans Issues

If you haven’t read it yet, The New Rebublic recently did a cover story on trans issues as the next civil rights issue.


Transgender people are regularly evicted from their homes, fired from their jobs, and denied medical treatment. Last July, emergency room staff in an Indiana hospital refused to help a trans woman who was coughing up blood, referring to her as “it.” More than a quarter of transgender people surveyed say they have lost a job because of discrimination. Transgender people are more likely to become homeless (at an average age of 13, in New York City). And then there is the obstacle course of inconveniences that reminds transgender people every day that they don’t belong. One trans woman told me her company requires her to lock herself in when she uses the restroom—even though it’s multi-occupancy—so she is acutely aware of making other women wait. In some states, a court order is required to change a person’s gender on a driver’s license. Many health insurance plans only cover procedures for one gender, so a person born male who transitions to female can’t get both a prostate check and a mammogram.

It’s a good piece, a general overview; there’s nothing new in it to those who have been paying attention to trans issues, but it’s a good introductory piece for social justice types in particular.