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WI Domestic Partnerships

In the midst of all this bad news – the NRA’s ongoing thick-headedness, Iowa’s full speed reversal into 1953 – there is some good news out of the state of Wisconsin: namely, that Wisconsin’s domestic partnership registry has been upheld as constitutional by a state appeals court.

This is especially good news as Wisconsin has a superDOMA in place, which not only bans same sex marriage but bans anything like marriage for same sex couples.

Here’s the basic gist:

Democratic lawmakers created the registry in 2009. Same-sex couples who join it are afforded a host of legal rights, including the right to visit each other in hospitals and make end-of-life decisions for one another. About 1,800 couples were on the registry at the end of 2011, according to the latest data from the state Department of Health Services.

Members of the conservative group Wisconsin Family Action filed a lawsuit in 2010 alleging the registry bestowed a legal status substantially similar to marriage to same-sex couples. The group argued that violates the Wisconsin Constitution’s ban on gay marriage.

Republican Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen refused to defend the registry, declaring it was clearly unconstitutional. Former Gov. Jim Doyle, a Democrat, appointed private attorneys to defend it, but Republican Gov. Scott Walker fired them after he took office in 2011 because he, too, believed the registry was unconstitutional.

Fair Wisconsin, the state’s largest gay rights group, stepped into the case to defend the registry. Dane County Circuit Judge Daniel Moeser ruled last summer that the registry was constitutional, finding it conveys a status that’s not identical or substantially similar to marriage.

Which means, in a nutshell, that right now is a damn good time to donate to Fair Wisconsin and thank them for their efforts on behalf of some very basic rights of same sex couples.

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Sexy Xmas Gifts

No, really, you can get the person with a penis in your life one of these! It’s  called a Tuggie. Not like a Huggie, although I bet you could get one of those to match.

Why buy a boring, bland vibrator when you can buy one that looks like a candy cane? This waterproof vibrating stick of stripey goodness is way more exciting. Add some Secret Santa Tingle Gel for minty freshness.

Or, for those more on the naughty than nice end of things, crack this icicle whip: this winter treat can certainly leave a hot little mark.

Plenty of other toys, outfits and ideas at Adam & Eve will keep you warm this holiday season.

 

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Blizzard.

I got back to Appleton yesterday just in time for a blizzard to drop! It’s very pretty, and actually a very nice welcome back.

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Happy Holidays!

And this, a new video created by my lovely spouse and performed by members of Lawrence’s amazing Conservatory. Or, this is the pretty place where we work.

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No Liberty, Just Death

Not this year, but every year forever, these families’ holidays will be full of horrible memory. What a shitty, shitty thing. All that trauma, of the kids & the families & the teachers. Enough already.

I would like to see a month-long moratorium on gun sales every time a shooting like this occurs. Or maybe a month for every person killed.

Really I’d like to see us kick the NRA out of the goddamn country. I can’t imagine how all this death & trauma is worth anything to anyone. Even an idea. There is no liberty here. Just death.

If a civilized country can’t keep our school-aged children safe, we have no business being a country at all. Sorry, but we don’t.

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NYC

I’m off for 2 weeks in NYC today, so if I don’t blog much, you know why.

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Dysphoria > Disorder > Dysphoria

And the APA has reinvented the wheel.

Still, this will hopefully be good news. Interesting other news is that he APA is working on treatment guidelines, or what sounds like an APA version of the SOC.

Here’s Julia Serano’s take which is an important and vital NOT SO FAST warning, because there is a new and improved, bigger and better than ever trans pathologizing diagnosis that’s been snuck in. This is so the equivalent of when homosexuality was removed but GIDC was inserted. feh.

 

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Help For a Packers Fan

Yes, amazingly enough: I’m writing something about a Packers fan. It’s a special case. He’s my nephew, the one who was born when I was but 6 years old, my oldest brother’s son.

He’s a lifelong NYer and a lifelong Packers fan.

& He was living in Freeport, Long Island, when Sandy hit. As he put it: that bitch took everything. He & his girlfriend carried out their dog and their TV, & that was all. Everything else they owned is gone.

They have been staying with her parents, & while I’m sure they will be able to get clothes and shoes and furniture and another place to live, no charity will prioritize a beloved collection, and that’s what his Packers paraphernalia was. Mind you, this is a guy who’s taken heat for being a Packers fan his entire life, surround as he is by Giants, Jets, and even Bills fans.

So, here’s the thing: I thought it would be especially cool if he got Packers stuff in packages with Wisconsin return addresses.

It doesn’t have to be new. It could be some small thing from your own collection that you’re willing to part with. I’m guessing he’s an XL or whatever a guy who is over 6′ tall might be. He’s not scrawny, not fat. Obviously, things that are not sized are probably best: clothes that are hats or scarves and the like. & Whatever other stuff it is football fans might collect would be great too.

So if you’re in, let me know and  I will send you his address, OR you can drop the thing off at our house and I will ship it.

But I really would love it if he kept getting individual packages in the mail, all from Wisconsin.

Cool, right? And if anyone wants something in return (other than my love and appreciation), let me know, & we’ll see if we can work something out.

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Don’t Be Lonely: Introducing The December Project

This is crossposted from Jennifer Finney Boylan’s blog.

By Jennifer Finney Boylan | Published: December 1, 2012

I wanted to announce what we’re calling THE DECEMBER PROJECT, a reachout by Dylan Scholinski, Mara Keisling, Jennifer Finney Boylan, and Helen Boyd to raise the spirits of people in the trans community during what can be a difficult time of year.

We are trans activists, homebodies, authors, parents, spouses, artists, and teachers, including a trans man, two trans women, and a loving spouse.  Here’s our pledge to you: If you feel low this December, and need someone to talk to, contact us, and we’ll call you on the phone.  Period.

We want to make clear that we are not therapists, and that anyone in a serious crisis should dial 911, or seek professional help from qualified folks in the helping professions.

On the other hand we are people who may have experienced what you are feeling, and it is our hope that simply having someone to listen or talk to this December will have value.   This project is 100% free and no one involved in it is getting anything out of it other than the opportunity to help.

Trans people– and the people that love them– face unique challenges during the holidays.  Too often we can find ourselves separated from families, from spouses and children and parents.  It’s a time of year that, as Dickens well noted, can be the most haunted of all, a time when we travel in time and feel all too keenly the distance between ourselves and others, when what we most desire is warmth, and community, and love.

So think of us as friends you haven’t met yet.  Want to talk to somebody on the phone?  Here’s what to do: 1) send an email to Jenny Boylan at JB@jenniferboylan.net, and in the subject heading write, DECEMBER PROJECT.  List your name, your phone number, and the time when we can reach you–preferably with a few different choices.  Let us know which one of us you want to talk to.

You can also contact people directly through Facebook– ask to “friend” Jennifer Finney Boylan and then make your request through the Direct Message page, and JFB will forward your request to the person you’ve asked for. (or if you’re friends with Mara, or Helen, or Dylan, you can contact them directly.)

If we can’t reach you, or if the person you’ve requested isn’t available, we’ll let you know that too.  Also, if we get overwhelmed, we’ll also tell you that.

So let us help.  And you don’t need to be in trouble to participate in the December Project.  If you want to celebrate all the good things in your life and share your sense of joy– we’re good with that too.

Who we are:

Helen Boyd is an author of 2 books, including MY HUSBAND BETTY, an account of life with a trans spouse.  She is a well regarded spokeswoman for trans people and the people that love them, especially spouses and partners.  She’s a Lecturer in Gender and Freshman Studies at Lawrence University in Wisconsin.

 

 

 

Jennifer Finney Boylan, an author of 13 books including SHE’S NOT THERE: A LIFE IN TWO GENDERS.  An English teacher at Colby College in Maine, a trans woman, wife to Deirdre Boylan, and mother (or “Maddy”) to two fine young men, Zach and Sean.  Serves on the board of directors of GLAAD and on the board of trustees at the Kinsey Institute.

 

Mara Keisling is founding executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality.  She is well known as a commentator on trans issues; she lives in Washington DC.

 

 

 

 

 

Dylan Scholinski was born Daphne Scholinski. He currently lives in Boulder, CO with his beautiful wife and 4 year old son and is the Founder/Witness of Sent(a)Mental Studios as well as a distinguished artist, author and public speaker. His most recent book was The Last Time I Wore a Dress, listed by Out Magazine as one of its Top Ten Must Reads.

We send everybody love, and hope that this month is a time of hope.

Email for The December Project:

jb@jenniferboylan.net

FB: Jennifer Finney Boylan.