On Dominant Narratives and Why Trans People Lie

This is a really fascinating article written by a trans person and sent to me by one too, and it echoes a lot of the thought and sentiment of the MHB Boards over the years.


But it’s true that, before I said it, I carefully mined my personal history for examples of how I was never really a girl. And when I presented my decision to transition to my friends and family, it was with the “always knew” narrative well rehearsed. In that, I’m like almost every other trans* person I’ve ever talked to about the coming out process.

Why is “I always knew” the common narrative? Why do so many of us tell some version of that story even if it isn’t true?

and this:

Which brings me to a question I want to leave with you: Why are we, as transgender people, challenged by others to prove that we really are who we say we are? Why do we feel this reflexive need to prove our genders beyond a shadow of a doubt? Because when we find ourselves backed into the “I always knew” corner, we end up doing the same thing we did all those years we were trying to fit the gender we were assigned at birth: repressing an essential part of ourselves for fear it will betray us.

But of course I will add, as a cis ally, that hey, trans people: forgive yourself for wanting stuff to not suck sometimes and so doing what needs to be done to get your transition to happen. Honestly, it’s the rest of us who are inconsistent assholes for not just being cool with it.

But either way, Zach McCallum: well done.

It’s Adam Ant’s Fault

Sorry I didn’t post this past week: I went to NYC for a few days to see my mom in the hospital & to go see this guy:

It’s been 20 years since the last time I saw him live, and it was amazing.

Lower on the Food Chain

I’m about the worst vegetarian ever – for which I used the acronym WVE – or what’s sometimes referred to as a flexitarian. To some people that just means omnivore, but in fact, it’s not quite. I used to eat a diet that probably included meat in nearly every meal – because it’s easy to do so as an American if you’re not thinking too hard about your food choices – and making the decision to be veg means that I do occasionally eat meat, for whatever reason I choose, but the majority of my food consumption is made of vegetables and grains.

It does not mean that other people can decide it’s okay for me to eat meat whenever *they* choose, however.

I don’t have an ethical problem with eating animals, but I do have a problem with treating them like crap before I do, and so noe I don’t worry as much about the way the animals I eat have been treated. My logic is that if everyone ate as little meat as I do, we wouldn’t have these massive meat factories and horrible, horrible treatment of animals. As one organic, free range farmer put it: “Our animals have a really great life and then one really bad day.” Which is, to my logic, about as good as it gets for any of us, no?

My point is: October is Vegetarian Month! So check out this nifty little info graphic that has all the stuff you need.

I’d add: if you have ever thought this might be a good idea for you, it probably is, so try it. & As with any huge change in your life, make sure you give yourself room to backslide and be imperfect at it for a while. & Don’t worry about the purists: they get their panties in a twist about everything. Just eat consciously and don’t ignore your own ethics. Also: it’s harder than it looks, in my experience, but worth the effort.