A simple, matter-of-fact article by a retired gynecologist in her 80s talking about what it was like to treat women who had tried to abort themselves or who had been worked on by an abortionist (who was not medically trained) in the days before Roe.
Drag Queens & (Trans) Women
There was quite an inflammatory thread on our boards recently about drag queens and crossdressers who dress in over-the-top ways, and it’s gotten me thinking. I’ve often heard that feminists hate drag queens because they mock women, which has always baffled me, for two reasons: (1) I don’t think all DQs are mocking women, and my guess is that most are not, and (2) I think there’s about a million feminist issues to deal with and that the relative powerlessness of your average DQ is hardly a major problem.
But the trans woman who brought this up was very upset by the way DQs mock women and in some way “misrepresent” transness – or at least her variety.
So what I’ve been thinking is that, ironically, I have found the one place where a lot of radical feminists and trans women might agree: in their dislike of DQs. So maybe MWMF should have an “anti-DQ” rally so that they can find the common ground that’s been so sorely lacking.
I’m kidding, of course. Still, the anger of the trans woman who had the courage to post her feelings about DQs surprised me, and usually things that surprise me make me pay attention. I just didn’t expect it. I just can’t see DQs as threatening of anyone. & Yet it was very clear she was threatened and angered, so I’d love to hear other input from people here. Do you other trans women resent drag queens? Why?
(Here’s an article from the Orlando Sentinel about the DQ pageant scene, which comes with some interesting terminology. Thanks to Donna T for finding it.)
LGBT Family Bloggers
170+ bloggers contributed to this year’s Blogging for LGBT Families Day, which is damned impressive. Go to Mombian to check out all the posts.
T Shirt
I don’t often wear trans shirts when I’m with Betty – no need to out her casually, she does enough outreach for one trans person – but Betty was sick this past week & so I was walking to my sister’s wear my NCTE “T” shirt (the old one – I don’t have the new one yet.)
Then someone on our boards asked if people would say yes if someone asked them if they were transgender.
And it made me wonder how often people think I’m trans – because of the t-shirts, the various places I post, the relative absence of partners in trans circles, and especially in LGBT circles. I think I mentioned here how two people I met at USC had assumed I was the partner of an FTM since the queer-identified partners of MTFs seem to be few & far-between – okay, practically non-existant.
It’s made me think of the days I was an honorary lesbian, which I am, still, kinda, depending on who’s deciding what I am.
I never told people I wasn’t a lesbian – unless the person was who wanted to sleep with me or a person who I wanted to sleep with – and in the same way I don’t think I’d care to clarify that I’m not trans if someone thought I was.
Maybe I should get a shirt that says GVETGI = Gender Variant Enough To Get It.
Marriage, then Civil Union
Jan Morris has gotten a civil union with the wife she married when she was male. They had five kids together, and only got divorced due to Morris’ transition.
I kinda love that. It’s good to know, too, the world has changed some since they got divorced, though of course UK laws still require the dissolution of a heterosexual marriage when/if someone changes their gender marker while married.
Race + Gender
A nice article by Shankar Vedantam of The Washington Post that turns out is a kind of journalistic explanation of the concept of intersectionality I keep talking about.
NY: GENDA Set for Assembly Vote
From Dick Gottfried, the prime sponsor of GENDA:
The GENDA bill is set for an Assembly vote this Tues., 6/3 – that’s TOMORROW. The Assembly session is scheduled to begin at 3:30PM in the Capitol in Albany , and GENDA should be the first bill taken up.
Visitors can watch from the fourth floor gallery. If you are coming, you need photo ID to enter the Capitol and will go through security, so remember to leave your Swiss Army knife at home.
To watch the Assembly session live, go to the Assembly website, click on “Live Coverage of Legislative Proceedings” on the left. The url is http://www.assembly.state.ny. us/av/
If you go to that page, you will also see a link of cable systems that carry the proceedings and air times.Thanks to all the members of the community who helped get the bill to this historic vote.
Very truly yours,
Dick Gottfried
Tionary
The other night I wrote a paragraph that went like so:
I don’t think we said a word the whole ride; we both just stared out our respective windows smiling glibly. If I could only have filled the car with amber and kept us preserved like that, I would have been content. If Sartre said that hell is other people, then heaven is something like silence with someone you love.
But I wondered afterward if one can smile glibly or not, and whether glib is the antonym of earnest, or circumspect, or studied, or some other word entirely.
So I looked it up, and found this at dictionary.com
1. readily fluent, often thoughtlessly, superficially, or insincerely so: a glib talker; glib answers.
2. easy or unconstrained, as actions or manners.
and hoped that when I’ve accused of being glib, it was more the latter I was being accused of then the former.
But then I found this obsolete definition, which I thought my be useful to the emo kids:
Glib\, n. [Ir. & Gael. glib a lock of hair.] A thick lock of hair, hanging over the eyes. [Obs.]
and then, still yet, this last one:
Glib\, v. t. [Cf. O. & Prov. E. lib to castrate, geld, Prov. Dan. live, LG. & OD. lubben.] To castrate; to geld; to emasculate. [Obs.] –Shak.
which once again goes to show that I cannot ever, it seems, escape the transness of things.
Blogging for LGBT Families
This year, to blog for LGBT families, I want to highlight the fantastic new work by COLAGE called the Kids of Trans Resource Guide (pdf). I’m not sure if I can express how desperately this guide was needed nor how happy I am to see it published. It includes not just tips for people who are children of trans people – whether they are still children or have become adults – but it also gives great advice to trans people who are parents, as well, including this gem:
“As a parent, remember that your children come first and your transition comes second. Transition is an inherently self-focused process, as you align your body and appearance with your gender identity. The best way to be a responsible parent during transition is to make your children a major priority throughout the process. Sometimes this means that you have to compromise your ideal time frame for your transition in order to keep relationships with your family healthy.”
Shock and revelation! Trans people are parents, children, spouses; they have families, extended families, and can adjust their transition goals to help the people who love them transition around them. How much does that rock? You can also access COLAGE’s Kids of Trans pages on their website.
(cross-posted to Trans Group Blog)
Writing While Listening
I wrote most of My Husband Betty
She’s Not the Man I Married
But now, this novel — which I started writing when I was first listening to a lot of Smiths