A few counselors who intended to present a workshop at an upcoming SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) on suicide prevention in GLBT communities were asked to remove “GLBT” from the title of the workshop. Instead of the title being “Suicide Prevention in GLBT Communities” the suggested title is “Suicide Prevention in Vulnerable Communities.”
Likewise, any mention of “gender identity” was removed from the workshop’s description (although “sexual orientation” was allowed to remain).
Workshops with the previous title had been given at two other SAMHSA Conferences, but both before our last presidential election.
Currently there’s stonewalling going on, where the counsellors are being told it was all a “misunderstanding,” but no-one has said the original wording is now okay. The counsellors will be speaking to some members of the media about this tomorrow, and hopefully, they will take the lead.
In the meantime, there are few representatives you can contact to lodge a complaint. Please see the MHB forums for further information.
The Glitz Ball
Betty got home safe and sound on Sunday night – just in time to spend Valentine’s Day with me. But we can’t lounge around for long, since we need to squeeze in a few days’ work before we take off for Phoenix and the Glitz Ball.
I’ll be presenting a workshop on Saturday at 1:15, as well as giving the Banquet Speech later that evening.
I also just found out Evelyn, the author of Mom, I Need to be a Girl will be attending with her partner, and I’m excited to finally meet her, as her book was one of the most clear presentations of what transsexualism is. The book is specific to being the parent of a trans-kid, but I also like to think it’s similar to my own: a view of transness through a loved one’s eyes. You can read Mom, I Need to be a Girl online.
We’re looking forward to it, and I’m re-drafting my speech this week. A few days’ escape from a NYC winter will be lovely, indeed.
Betty, with author ‘Just Evelyn’:
So… yeah.
Betty’s on her way to LA for her first NCTE board meeting, and I’m at home wondering how I’m going to occupy myself without my lovely partner around. That the board meeting was scheduled thoughtlessly on Valentine’s Day weekend just gives me more of an idea of how much trans-activists think about partners. Phooey.
On top of that, I just posted the very last entry I’d written in my trans-erotica story! (Don’t tell the CDs who are logging on just to read it, since I’m going to enjoy leaving them hanging.) When I first wrote it, quite a while back, I gave it to Betty, and she read it, and she said (and I quote), “It’s almost too literary to get off to.” So I stopped, since the whole point was for her to say “I madly want to make love to you right now, especially since I can’t believe how incredibly lucky I am to have a wife who can find my transness a turn-on.” Unfortunately, no-one had gotten Betty a copy of the script in advance, and she had to improv. Betty hates improv, for a reason.
So, on this lonely weekend when half of the world is taking time out to make love, I’m supposed to write more of a trans-erotic story that my own lovely tranny couldn’t get off to, for the sake of all you, whoever you are, out there.
Sometimes, life is all about timing. It’s very hard to come up with what happens next when I can’t go ask Betty to put on some thigh-highs for me, you know, to inspire me. Luckily Betty saw fit to leave me a rose, and arranged for two eunuchs* to share my bed, so I feel a little like a well-loved harem girl. Or something like that.
Buying things for your love for Valentine’s Day is nice (and is sure to be appreciated, no matter which gender you are), but giving your lover a few home-made “coupons” for “services” is even better. Best: give him or her or hir or ze a sex coupon, specifically for something you don’t love doing but that really turns them on! Unfortunately Betty forgot to leave mine with the rose she left, though I’m sure she’ll be bringing me one back from L.A. And no, I’m not telling what the coupon might be for. (But she better know!)
If you’re alone for Valentine’s Day, indulge yourself with a haircut, a bath, music you love (played as loud as you want, of course) and a phonecall to your most-recently-heartbroken friend, who probably needs to hear from you.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Continue reading “So… yeah.”
Femme Fever Ball
Karen of Femme Fever, who has been doing a lot great work with the trans community for the past 10 years, is hosting the First Ever Femme Fever Ball, to take place on February 26th. Dinner, a fashion show, dancing are all included with the price of a ticket (which you need to buy before 2/22). Please see the Femme Fever site for more details.
Karen offers transformation services as well as support groups for all within the trans community. Again, see her site for more details.
Protest or Support?
It occurred to me that around this time last year, emails and T newsgroups and mailing lists and blogs were inundated with protests about the nomination of Michael Bailey’s The Man Who Would Be Queen for a Lambda Literary Award. I was against the nomination as were so many of us, and the driving force behind the protest was pretty remarkable, if not always polite.
However, not one trans website I’ve found has actually posted anything about this year’s nominees. I noticed, of course, because I’m one of the people whose book has been nominated, in the transgender category, along with the likes of Morty Diamond, Mariette Pathy Allen, Jamison Green and Julie Anne Peters. There are some other trans writers up for awards in other categories, and yet I haven’t really read anything about it.
Did the Bailey controversy end up nullifying the awards for the trans community? Or are we just way better at protesting than supporting the writers and educators who are doing good work?
So here, without further ado, are a few of the book award nominees for the Lambda Lit Award:
In the Nonfiction Anthology category:
That’s Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation edited by Mattilda, a.k.a Matt Bernstein Sycamore, Soft Skull Press
In the Children’s/Young Adult category:
Luna by Julie Anne Peters, Little, Brown Books for Young Readers (which was also a finalist for the National Book Award this year)
In the Drama/Theatre category:
I am My Own Wife by Doug Wright, Farrar, Straus & Giroux (which has won so many other awards, like the Pulitzer and the Tony, you’ll have to check the website for the entire list)
In the Transgender/GenderQueer category:
Becoming a Visible Man by Jamison Green, Vanderbilt University Press (which also won CLAGS’ Sylvia Rivera award)
From The Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond edited by Morty Diamond, Manic D Press
Luna by Julie Anne Peters, Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
My Husband Betty: Love, Sex and Life with a Crossdresser by Helen Boyd, Thunder’s Mouth Press
The Gender Frontier by Mariette Pathy Allen, Kehrer Verlag
Donations – and a Gift
To encourage donations, I’m offering a little gift for this month’s donors: a CD (the musical kind) of love songs to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. It’s an eclectic mix, containing a few songs anyone might love, and hopefully a few new musicians/songs you haven’t heard before who might become new loves.
I figured Valentine’s Day is a good time to show the love – so you show me yours, and I’ll show you mine. 🙂
If you’re liking my blog, or the MHB Boards, or my trans-erotica, let me know by sending a small donation to keep the site – and my work – going.
Donate $25 or more by February 28th, and you’ll get a copy of the CD.
Thanks again – and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Helen & Betty
Judge Strikes Down NY Ban on Gay Marriage
From 1010 WINS – New York’s All News Station
Feb 4, 2005 2:23 pm US/Eastern
A Manhattan judge declared Friday that the section of state law that forbids same-sex marriage is unconstitutional — the first ruling of its kind in New York and one that if upheld on appeal would allow gay couples to wed.
State Supreme Court Justice Doris Ling-Cohan ruled that the words “husband,” “wife,” “groom” and “bride” in relevant sections of the Domestic Relations Law “shall be construed to mean ‘spouse,”‘ and “all personal pronouns … shall be construed to apply equally to either men or women.”
Ling-Cohan ruled on the side of five same-sex couples who were denied marriage licenses. She said the New York City clerk could not deny a license to any couple solely on the ground that the two are of the same sex.
Susan Sommer, Lambda Legal Defense Fund lawyer who presented the case for the five couples, called the ruling “historic” and said it “delivers the state Constitution’s promise of equality to all New Yorkers.”
“The court recognized that unless gay people can marry, they are not being treated equally under the law,” Sommer said. “Same-sex couples need the protections and security marriage provides, and this ruling says they’re entitled to get them the same way straight couples do.”
One couple, Mary Jo Kennedy and Jo-Ann Shain, said they were very happy about the ruling and believed it would offer their family increased legal protection. They have been together 23 years, registered as domestic partners in 1993, and have a 15-year-old daughter who is Shain’s biological child.
“We’re just overjoyed,” said Shain. “We didn’t think it would ever happen.”
Kennedy said she wants to marry Shain as soon as possible. “I can’t wait,” she said. “We went to buy a (marriage) license in March 2004 and couldn’t get it. That’s what started this whole thing.”
Shain said, “We’re looking forward to trying to buy another one, and this time actually getting it.”
“I’m going to sleep better with the legal protection of a marriage,” Kennedy said.
The city Law Department issued a statement saying only, “We are reviewing the decision thoroughly and considering our options.”
Ling-Cohan noted that one plaintiff, Curtis Woolbright, is the son of an interracial couple who moved to California in 1966 to marry. She said California then was the only state whose courts had ruled that interracial marriage prohibitions were unconstitutional.
Some courts, Ling-Cohan wrote, justified anti-miscegenation laws (bans on interracial marriage) as defending tradition rooted in “natural” law. They “rejected the rights of adults to choose their marital partners based on outmoded prejudices that are now recognized as illegitimate grounds for government action.”
(I for one am happy to finally see New York acting like New York! It’s about time. No matter what the long-term ramifications are of this ruling, I’m still glad to see it. – hb.)
Queer Stories for Boys
For years, my friend Doug McKeown has been running and directing a group called Queer Stories for Boys, which is a story-telling workshop for gay men. He gathers a group of gay men, and has them brainstorm on ideas of stories – the only caveat being that the story had to have happened in real life. After that, they whittle away at and sculpt the stories, so in the end they come up with fantastic monologues of real life experiences. Betty and I got to see a performance of “Queer Stories” a while back, and were thrilled (and wanted to try to convince Doug to do the same for transfolks, but no luck yet!)
A collection of these stories has just been published, called Queer Stories for Boys: True Tales from the Gay Men’s Storytelling Workshop, and I highly recommend it, especially for transfolks who are entering the GLBT world and don’t know much about their gay brothers.
Here’s the review I wrote for the book:
These stories are as honest as they are queer. Ranging the gamut from tragic to comic, they encapsulate what is often missing in descriptions of gay men: their humanity, their families, and their lovers. These men tell the stories of how they have managed to find themselves – and happiness – at a time when the public seems more interested in what they do than in who they are. Queer Stories for Boys reminds us of the people behind the political diatribes, and does so with elegance, wit, sadness and joy.