WI Book Fest – Resources

As promised, a few of the resources I promised to people who came to the Love, Always reading yesterday at A Room of One’s Own. My online group for partners of trans people: https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/engender_partners/info Our online forum for trans people… Continue Reading

My Online Group for Partners

I’ve been getting quite a few requests for this link, so I thought it was about time to put it up again: https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/engender_partners/info It’s open to all kinds of partners: wives of crossdressers, partners of people considering transition, partners of… Continue Reading

To the Wife Who Just Found Out

I read this piece in the LA Times by the ex wife of a transitioned trans woman yesterday – and read all of the amazing commentary about it on my Facebook page by trans people and trans partners – and… Continue Reading


My wife and I were lucky enough to score tickets to see The Replacements this past weekend in Milwaukee; neither of us had ever seen them back in the day and both of us were fans. And they were, as… Continue Reading

Partner’s Blues

Here’s a smart piece about dating someone who is still uncomfortable with their own gender issues, who embraces and then rejects them, and how one partner tried to come to terms with that – but didn’t. This: The wall I’m… Continue Reading

Love, Always Epilogue

I’ve been meaning to wrap up my interviews with partners by putting up a small piece of my Epilogue for Love, Always. I read it Saturday night at a FORGE meeting because Trystan Cotten, Transgress Press’ Managing Editor, was in… Continue Reading

Five Questions With… Miriam

The last (for now!) of my interviews with partners of trans people who wrote narratives for Transgress Press’ Love, Always, is not, by far, the least. Miriam Hall is also a friend, fellow writer, & fellow Wisconsinite. She’s a writer… Continue Reading

Five Questions With… Melissa

Melissa Contreras is an old friend, a past participant on the mHB message boards, and an amazing person. Here’s her interview, to round out the amazing narrative she wrote for Transgress Press’ Love, Always. 1. What didn’t you write about… Continue Reading

Her Husband

Narratives like this one are always so hard to read. It’s all so familiar, and brings me back to a time when I hadn’t made any peace (yet) with my partner’s transition, and I knew so much more going into… Continue Reading

Afterword: Partners

So, partners, I’m finishing up an Afterword for a book of writings by us, and what I want to know is this: What is it essential that I mention? What are the things that no one ever says about us?… Continue Reading

What Partners Think

Here are a few new (to me) resources for partners: One blog post by a trans person who was happily surprised by a relationship with a cis person, and who goes on to interview a few partners on their experience… Continue Reading

It’s Not About Her Ex: A Trans Partner’s Story

My friend M. is a woman who was assaulted by her ex. Her ex happens to be a woman, too, of trans history. When the news of what had happened broke, her story was drowned out by all of the… Continue Reading

Advice to a Wife

I get a letter every once in a not-too-rare while from a wife who has just found out her husband is going to transition. Sometimes he is already starting to, sometimes he is still deciding and she expects he will,… Continue Reading

New Trans Relationship

So this Dear Abby letter is a few kinds of great: Dear Abby: I’m a divorced woman with grown children. I have always supported gay rights and thought of myself as straight. But a few months ago, I met a… Continue Reading

Trans Marriage Precedent

I was so excited to read this I got shivers. A couple in Indiana got divorced after the husband transitioned to female, and were working out an amicable agreement when a circuit court judge rejected their divorce petition on the… Continue Reading

RIP JoAnn Roberts – & Thank You

JoAnn Roberts, aged 65, died on June 7th, 2013. She was an early advocate for trans rights, trans community, and built a few institutions that provided people with hope, community, and resources. She started her work in the mid 1980s… Continue Reading

“Goes Without Saying”

It’s been a while since I’ve griped about the petty bullshit involved in being the partner of a trans person, hasn’t it? I recently posted a photo of me and my wife at the GLAAD awards, and many, many people… Continue Reading

Why Trans Partners Should Tell Their Stories

The other day I published a brief interview with Christine Benvenuto, who wrote a book about her marriage to and divorce from a trans woman. I blurbed her book, let me admit up front. I blurbed it because despite some… Continue Reading

A Few Questions With… Cameron Whitley

Eleanor Hubbard is the co-editor of the anthology Trans Kin: A Guide for Family and Friends of Transgender People< . I got the chance to ask her a few questions about the book. 1) What encouraged you to create this… Continue Reading

A Few Questions With… Miriam Hall

Miriam Hall is a partner of a trans person and a contributor to the book Trans Kin: A Guide for Family and Friends of Transgender People. She and I did a reading together for the Wisconsin Book Festival a few… Continue Reading