That’s not to say editors shouldn’t have their cranky prerogatives. They should, and generally they do. I’d be disappointed if, say, Lewis Lapham didn’t. Older people who knew more than the average 20 year old – or even the average 40 year old – can even dream of knowing are allowed some room.

But it’s still funny when when it’s the editors of Analog.

(I got myself in trouble a long time ago for writing a short story about a lesbian teenager who went to her first support meeting at The Gay Center & who found her voice silenced by the voices of the young men around her. I called it “Stonwalled” and my gay but closeted writing professor was not happy with me about it.)

(h/t to Lena Dahlstrom)

& Whilst plenty of you think I’m insane, I really prefer nothing more than sitting and looking out a window listening to music and thinking. Writing. Reading. It’s all the stuff I do anyway, but somehow doing it while moving feels more productive.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m on my way to the Liberty Conference in Philly, and yes, I did think I would be living in NYC when I said yes. I speak at Saturday’s luncheon about How We Love You (Trans People) and then later the same day about sex being a four letter word. Do come if you can.

Sunday, I get back on the train and do the whole thing in reverse, but not in heels.

She wanted me to know that I was among the top 6 finalists this year, and that the committee were very impressed with my work and hoped that I would keep writing.

& Then she clarified that I was in the top 6 finalists but had not won it. </end holding breath>

That close. Yes, I am happy to hear I was in such esteemed ranks. They received 750 applications, & someone who is better at math can tell me what percentage I made it into as one of the top 6. My name and my work will be featured in all the publicity materials about the award, and that’s cool too.

But wow. $50k. That close nearly hurts.

Still, I am incredibly pleased to be recognized as – well, as a contender.

• An article about an Afghan man who got 20 years in prison for asking questions about women’s rights under Islam.
• A blog post by a friend about Obama’s election and what it made him think about.

I am writing and reading a lot this fall, and most of the writing is not for publication, sadly – like my personal statement for my Ph.D. application, amongst other things. So keep sending me cool stuff, or I may start posting descriptions of classes I want to teach, and other odd things.

Verhaeghen, who is also a novelist and describes himself as a “somewhat mood disordered person,” had a particular interest in the connection between creativity and this ruminating state of mind.

“One of the things I do is think about something over and over and over again, and that’s when I start writing,” he said.

Psychologist types can tell me if anything specific is meant by “ruminating” – that is, if the term is used in your field to mean a kind of obsessive thinking and reviewing of thought – because otherwise, to us lay folks, ruminating just means thinking, reviewing. I don’t think of it as being a negative activity by any means, or even an obsessive one.

What they seem to miss – or don’t articulate – is that writing is a kind of thinking for a lot of writers. It’s a way of kind of nailing down a certain kind of looped thinking, following wild hairs to their logical end, sorting out complex connections. In other words, it’s a kind of sanity-making thing to do when you’re thinking all the time.

I had a writing prof who used to say that it’s impossible to tell if people who have a lot of vivid dreams become writers or if writers have a lot of vivid dreams – that is, whether the inclination to write causes someone to dream & think very intensely, or whether people who naturally dream & think intensely find writing is their only good outlet for all the stuff going on in their head. Writing, to me, is an anti-depressant, but in a certain sense it creates this other place you get to go, and like with other drugs, maybe you just get to a point where pushing the button doesn’t result in relief anymore. With DFW, it would be easy to come to that conclusion – he wrote so intensely, so intricately, for a long while, & it’s as if the moment he stopped – he couldn’t stand it anymore. Maybe, as with other drugs, we have to be careful how much we press the button, because we become resistant to its palliative qualities, eventually.

Kevin Roderick of highly-respected LAObserved.com reports late Monday that “Eighteen month after writing a column about becoming Christine Daniels, veteran sportswriter Mike Penner has quietly returned to work at the Los Angeles Times, according to multiple sources close to the LAT’s Sports staff.”

Anyone know any more than this? All of the articles/blog posts written by Christine Daniels are gone – sports ones, as well as the ones about the transition.

If anyone has more information, let me know. As far as I know, this is the most famous person to de-transition I’ve ever heard of, and it’s surely going to cause additional confusion to people who are just starting to get why people transition in the first place.

So – why do people de-transition? I’ve met people who did because they couldn’t find a job as a female, especially if/when there were dependents in the picture. Others realize they weren’t transsexual – and that is the point of RLT, after all, & that means it’s working. Any other reasons people have come across?

This sentence, especially, stood out:

It gives me comfort just to think that after eight years of George W. Bush we will have a president who has actually read the Federalist Papers.

Do read the comments and reactions; it’s a very interesting set of opinions, all pretty articulate.

I don’t care what anyone else thinks — I think (Bill) Clinton’s speech was mediocre. For him, & for this campaign. Were I his speechwriting consultant, I would have sent him back to the drawing board. It was too safe, nearly mealy-mouthed. This is the man who defined what is is, after all.

Who did rock tonight was John Kerry. His talk left me thinking, as I did with (Hillary) Clinton’s, where the hell was that during their own campaigns? Kerry had his claws out, & that was lovely.

Biden’s rocked too (though it’s not yet up on YouTube). & Yes, I’m biased, since he’s a good Catholic boy from PA. But I just love that he’s made up for his stutter by being someone who speaks, sometimes too much, in public. In front of thousands. I haven’t liked him much since the Anita Hill fiasco, but he’s a good VP for Obama, and he gives good emotion. I especially liked what he said about America regaining the world’s trust.

What’s funniest is that I find myself agreeing with Pat Buchanan (who’s a regular commentator on MSNBC): Where’s Guatanamo? Where is the criticism of Cheney, that fucker? He’s a traitor and a shit and his approval rating is something like 18%. What about Rove? What about Valerie Plame? ATTACK, DEMOCRATS, ATTACK! These guys suck.

Here’s another thing: someone needs to get up & try to undo (Hillary) Clinton’s poison against Obama, specifically her charge about his “rhetoric.” We need rhetoric right now. Great leadership is not just about policy. It’s about Fireside Chats, and “nothing to fear but fear itself,” and “once more into the breach.” It’s about motivating people. & While no, we don’t need a motivational speaker as President, it doesn’t hurt when a guy as smart as Obama can move the masses with his words. I know I’ve needed someone to tell me to have hope, what with paying $900/month for health insurance that covers who the fuck knows what.