Kids These Days

The Walkman turned 30 and one kid who’s 13 took three days to figure out you can flip the cassette for more music. And they say these kids are clever.

& Yes, I do still have my yellow Sports version… somewhere. And a LOT of cassettes. I still miss the mindful mixing of 45 minutes of music. Tape-cover making was an art form all its own too: my favorite personal creation was a cover I painted a purplish black and then wrote on with a toothpick dipped in Wite-Out. It was a Love & RocketsExpress b/w Tones on Tail and gave me many hours of listening pleasure. Now, Tones on Tail songs are on car commercials. *sigh*

Ah, back in the day.

Aeneas Keaton

He’s got a Buster Keaton thing going on, doesn’t he? I think so, but then I’m a big fan of Buster and of Aeneas. He is not so slothful that all he does is rest himself on the slope – he does, also, sharpen his claws on it.

More on the Cis

The thing is, I love the anger in the trans community. I’m an old school punk rocker; anger is in my blood. So stay angry. Just don’t, as my mother would say, let it cut off your nose to spite your face.

Starting a conversation on the understanding that accusing someone of privilege of whatever kind – straight, male, white, cis – is usually met with a “fuck you i’ve suffered” rejoinder is a good place to begin. Most people’s lives are hard, so it’s unlikely anyone wants to hear how much less hard his/her life is because s/he is male / white / rich / educated / physically abled / cis.

Sean Kennedy: Insult to Injury

In the light of all the LGBT violence this past month, the news that Sean Kennedy’s killer was releaed from prison early – for good behavior? – is like insult to injury, salt in the wound.

Why take the death of a young gay man seriously? They’ve treated this crime all along as if the kid broke a fucking window — not that he caused the death of this poor handsome, well-loved and much-missed young man.

Heartbreak. Heartbreak all around.

Trans Salon

In today’s Salon, a nice piece about the failure of Thomas Beattie, and another about the romantic failure of Jennifer Finny Boylan.

Mara Keisling, quoted in the first piece:

Mara Keisling, the executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, resents the way that the Thomas Beatie flap has overshadowed more important developments. “The media hasn’t gotten a message yet that they ought to get a life,” she snaps. Last week, Congress held its first-ever hearing on discrimination against transgender employees, and on June 17, the American Medical Association passed a resolution stating that it “supports public and private health insurance coverage for treatment of gender identity disorder,” but these items have received nowhere near Beatie’s media attention.

& Boylan, quoted in the second:

The women I knew, for their part, liked the fact that I had a feminine streak, that I seemed to be sensitive and caring, that I didn’t know the names of any NFL teams, that I could make a nice risotto. A lot of straight women love a female sensibility in a man, an enthusiasm that goes right up to, but unfortunately does not quite include, his being an actual woman.

The romances didn’t last, of course. Because, let’s face it: I was keeping the basic fact of myself camouflaged. How are you supposed to fall in love when you’re so frequently lying?

Cis Hits the Fan

Have you all seen these arguments going on about the use of the word cis? Here’s Pam’s House Blend and Questioning Transphobia on the issue. Unfuckingbelievable.

I hate the word myself, but it’s a useful lens on a type of privilege others can’t see or identify, which is one of the reasons it can upset people. I can’t imagine telling others they can’t use it, though.

I also prefer a crowbar between “cisgender” and “cissexual” because I am one but I’m not the other (as many other queerios may be, as well, since many of us have more than one gender).

Another round of Julia Serano’s Whipping Girl, everyone, please.

But the idea that trans people are always righteously angry, entirely respectful, and never diminish their own anger and hurt by throwing invective and insult at the people they’re arguing with… oh, that’s RICH. The trans community is notorious, at this point, for going batshit over things in a way not seen before by – well, most people.

I myself prefers “not trans” or “variably gendered” or “pantywaist” or ” trans ally” or just “tomboy” but I’ve long ago given up on having anyone respect my self-chosen identities, to be honest, having been told I am trans, that I’m not masculine enough to “count” when it comes to female masculinity, etc.

(Now Autumn Sandeen has had her say, too.)

Divorce Resources

Yes, it’s a depressing thought, but I’ve seen so many of them in the trans community over time that I thought I should share these two articles I found on the topic.

One of called “What Every Married Woman Should Know About Money,” by Carol Mithers and has a bulleted list of 7 items:

  • 1. Carry your own plastic.
  • 2. Read the fine print.
  • 3. Define what’s yours, mine, and ours.
  • 4. Don’t give up bill-paying duties.
  • 5. Get to know your financial advisers.
  • 6. Make plans for the future.
  • 7. Keep your professional hat in the ring.

The other is “What To Do When You Can’t Afford a Divorce” also by Carol Mithers and has this useful bit of advice about credit:

Credit is a different story. “Shred joint cards and get a new one in your own name,” recommends Lisa Decker, an Atlanta-area-based financial analyst specializing in divorce. “It can be hard for a woman to get credit after a divorce, especially if she hasn’t been working. If you have a balance you can’t pay off on existing credit cards, freeze the account so that neither partner can run up the debt further. Also put freezes on home equity so that neither of you can take out a second mortgage or line of credit.”

Not cheery, but still important reading.

How It’s Done

In this ESPN article about Hedo Turkoglu – the “Michael Jordan of Turkey” – Mert Uyar explains the player’s early years in the section captioned “Hidayet Turkoglu” and happens to mention that he had a female coach. It’s the kind of thing that still stands out – not just that she’s female, but that she was a female basketball coach in Turkey. Your average reader might have a question about that.

But what’s interesting is that they don’t mention that the coach transitioned until they’re talking about how the player himself responded to her transition – that is, when they mention it only as evidence of his commitment to his own playing and the game, because he didn’t let it get in the way the way others did. it’s in the second to last paragraph of the article, to boot.

A good example, in my opinion, of when & where mentioning a transition is relevant, or isn’t.

TLDEF: Queens (Trans) Woman Beaten in Bias Crime

From TLDEF:

We’re sad to bring you the news of another brutal attack on a transgender woman, this one coming during the height of LGBT Pride month. On June 19, 2009, at approximately 2:30 am, Leslie Mora was walking home from a nightclub on Roosevelt Avenue in Queens when she was accosted by two men who brutally beat her with a belt. They stopped only when a passing motorist threatened to call the police.

Throughout the attack, Leslie’s assailants called her a “faggot” in Spanish. The attack left Leslie with multiple injuries, including bruises all over her body, and stitches in her scalp. Police called to the scene found Leslie nearly naked and bleeding on the sidewalk. They also recovered a belt buckle from the assailants that was covered in blood.

We want you to know that we’re working with Leslie to ensure that the perpetrators of this attack are brought to justice.

The full story, along with other resources, photos of Leslie Mora, at TLDEF’s site.

New Hero: Biologist Matt Aresco

CNN did a condescending story about the turtles being saved in Tallahassee a little while back; the newscaster (Abbie Boudreau, I think) who delivered the story was obnoxious, unsympathetic, & completely failed to present the benefits of the project in anything resembling objectivity. Yes, she pissed me off.

But today The Washington Post did a much better job covering the story & the project.

The one question no one has asked: why did we need the road to be right there? Couldn’t we have gone around the lake altogether? Or over it? We are such arrogant bastards, assuming that what we need is the most important thing. Turtles do not interfere in our lives, but our lives end turtles’ lives on a regular basis. I saw a turtle that had been run over on a lake road near Appleton last week, and honestly there is nothing sadder: it’s not like the turtle’s got a fighting change, being the slow, lovely critters they are.

Does anyone else ever look at all the cars on the 8-lane highways we have these days and just wonder, where the hell do we think we’re going? Because we don’t seem to be getting anywhere much. One stretch of road is much like the next; one town is much the same as the next. I feel a little better knowing I use mass transit here in NYC and walk to work in Appleton, but how do you animal lovers otherwise justify driving around in your cars knowing that what you’re doing contributes to x number of violent animal deaths a year? Maybe I’m getting old, but I just can’t handle it.

You can assuage your guilt by donating to the Lake Jackson Ecopassage Project. This guy, Matt Aresco, has his priorities in order.