Queens all over the country were the ones who got the crossdressing laws off the books.

Whether or not transition itself is a choice is an idea I will leave for another day. But here, in a nutshell, are some basic tenets I hope are useful.

does it matter why?

i don’t know what trans is – genetic, medical condition, etc.

no one makes any distinction between nature/nurture anymore. nature is what? DNA? as in, something made out of protein that is created within a physical environment which is impacted by all our culture. just forget it. that binary is over, done with.

are people trans?

yes.

do they need to transition?

yes.

should they own their shit & do so as responsibly as possible?

yes.

should cis people start to fucking understand transness is not going anywhere, that it IS, in the same way that, say, queerness IS?

yes.

if you got married & you’re trans & you’re going to transition you’re going to wreck your wife’s life, pretty much. own it. minimize the damage however you can.

your life was already wrecked by transphobia and represssion and who knows what else.

your transition will give you the chance to change in a way that you’re looking forward to. your wife may, in turn, change her life into something she wants, too, but in either case, you will both experience a great deal of loss. none of it is fair, not a damn thing about it, & not for anyone.

but stop, STOP, making it all about you. if there is anything i say to trans people all the time that none of you listen to – & that includes my lovely spouse – that is it.

as she likes to say: trans people make Narcissus weep.

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Just watch.

The new book is called Stuck in the Middle with You: A Memoir of Parenting in Three Genders.

Actress Cornelia Otis Skinner said, Woman’s virtue is man’s greatest invention. That phrase is both true and telling: everyday men and women both carry the heavy load and pay the cost for this retrograde notion of virtue. Female sexual agency remains a contentious subject that sparks fierce debate and displays of moral outrage, bigotry, and murderous violence. Our culture continues to punish women for their sexuality, from woman-on-woman slut shaming, to continuing attempts by local, state, and federal government agencies to limit access to effective family planning. Our country’s honor killings–ranging from the murder of abortion providers to the killing of a partner in a fit of jealous If-I-cant-have-you-then-nobody-can-have-you! rage–are almost always connected to women’s sexual autonomy and/or health.

I love Nina Hartley.

But this new video is pretty damned amazing. Bowie as himself, Tilda Swinton as his wife; Andrej Peyjic, Saskia DeBrauw as the genderfuck stars, and Iselin Stero as Bowie the Younger.

(My first thought on seeing it was: hey, that’s kind of our life in Appleton. Kidding. Mostly.)

Enjoy the genderfuck.

And… Minnesota gives me the best 44th birthday present!

Helen Keller, left; Jamie Moore’s daughter, right

Cool photographer and mom Jaime Moore wasn’t pleased with the “princess makeovers” to be found all over the internets. She wanted to do something that would give her daughter power, pride, and agency, instead of, say, transforming her daughter into a sycophantic dependent. Nutty. So here’s what she came up with instead.

There are other portaits, with her daughter as Jane Goodall, Amelia Earheart, Coco Chanel, and of course, Susan B. Anthony.

(Yes, those are two moms reading their Mother’s Day card together.)

Qween Amor was assaulted in Union Square on May 7th, 2013. The suspect is now in custody. Immediately after this video was taken, her suitcase (pictured, red) was stolen. It contained her amplifier, laptop, and all other possessions.

S/he needs help to purchase a new amplifier/boombox, so that she can continue performing & sending her message of love. Contributions can be made via paypal to: QweenAmor@gmail.com.