To my left, a cocktail party of the heteronormative variety: men in suits, women in cocktail dresses, hose and heels.
To my right, blue haired, pierced kids; boys in cigarette leg jeans; girls in ties, starched button-downs; trans people of many types.

I stood there for a while, hoping I had Moses’ staff, or at least his gumption, to ask for a parting of the waters that would provide a third, middle path. My life has been spent on that landing, really, popping back and forth between groups, hanging out in one because it’s where I feel more comfortable, but hanging out in the other because it’s the way I desire. Like Superman, I had to change clothes pretty often, and often with my clothes, my gender; I still long for a heterosexual space where I could be a het woman in a suit & tie, or for a queer space where I could be a woman who loves sex with men.

Sometimes, in rare moments, that third space appears: in the music scenes of the late 80s in NYC was one. Fetish clubs are sometimes another. But mostly I have had to decide between being with my people as a queer woman or pretending to be more gender normative than I actually am when I’ve had boyfriends.

Sigh.

Mostly I would like for non-trans community to know that most trans people are nothing like Stanton: they don’t reek of privilege, for starters. White, wealthy trans women who transition later in life have always gotten more than their share of the media spotlight, and that’s unfortunate if only because it skews the picture of who trans people are, what they need, and what kinds of discrimination they deal with. Most cannot afford GRS, much less FFS (facial feminization surgery) or, alternately, phalloplasty & the like. People like Stanton (Chloe Prince, etc.) also make it seem as if every trans person comes from a heterosexual history and not only gets GRS but needs it; in fact, most MTF spectrum people don’t get genital surgery, for various reasons.

So if you’re not trans, please don’t bother someone you know who is tomorrow. If you really want to know more, try a book.

Studies of men who had seen X-rated movies found that they were significantly more tolerant and accepting of women than those men who didn’t see those movies, and studies by other investigators—female as well as male—essentially found similarly that there was no detectable relationship between the amount of exposure to pornography and any measure of misogynist attitudes. No researcher or critic has found the opposite, that exposure to pornography—by any definition—has had a cause-and-effect relationship towards ill feelings or actions against women. No correlation has even been found between exposure to porn and calloused attitudes toward women. There is no doubt that some people have claimed to suffer adverse effects from exposure to pornography—just look at testimony from women’s shelters, divorce courts and other venues. But there is no evidence it was the cause of the claimed abuse or harm.

I’ve always been a fan – mostly because I grew up in a family where we were born fully dressed, and where no one was going to show me photos of what a vagina actually looked like (which, if you’re a woman, is hard to see for yourself). It can also be a useful instruction manual that’s actually fun to watch.

That said, I know there are plenty of feminists, and non-feminists, who hate porn and will only ever see the side of it that degrades women. I think of it more like comedy – sure, a lot of it’s lousy and mean-spirited and serves no cultural function, but the cultural function it does serve can’t really be fulfilled in any other way.

Read more: Porn: Good for us?

Unite+Fight EAA Midwest Conference
Friday, March 12th, 2010 at 7:00pm – Sunday, March 14th, 2010 to 10:00pm (CT)
Columbia College Chicago

Location
Columbia College Chicago
Various buildings.
600 S. Michigan Ave
Chicago, IL 60605

Hosted By
Unite+Fight Midwest Coalition
(list of participating organizations and their websites)
Contact Event Organizer

Event Details
Unite and Fight: Strategizing for LGBTQ Equality

Midwest Conference
March 12–14, 2010
Chicago’s Columbia College

On Oct. 11, 2009, more than 200,000 activists marched on Washington, DC to demand full equality for all LGBTQ people in all matters of civil law in all 50 states. Today, many of us who mobilized for the march are organizing to build Equality Across America (EAA), a national network of grassroots activists, starting with a series of regional educational and strategizing conferences.

On the weekend of March 12–14 activists from across the Midwest will gather to discuss and debate how to achieve full federal equality while forming a strong regional grasnetwork. Proposed topics include: Why We Need a National Grassroots Movement, Movement Strategy and Tactics, The ‘T’ is not Silent: Transgender History and Politics, Movement History: ACT UP, Lessons From the Black Civil Rights Struggle, Convincing the Democrats to Take Us Seriously, Taking on the Religious Right, and more.

In addition there will be artists performing and showing their work, music, dancing and lots of time to hang out and socialize with other LGBTQ activists and allies in the region. Don’t miss the opportunity to build unity and meet new activist friends in Chicago, March 12–14, 2010.

Featuring:
Lt. Dan Choi, prominent activist against Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
Staceyann Chin, Jamaican-born lesbian performance artist and poet
Adam Bouska, photographer and creator of the “NO H8″ campaign
*****************************************************************************************************************************************
Sponsors

In an effort to create a positive impact in the lives of our
community, our allies, and even our opposition, Join the Impact
Chicago has emerged. Our movement encourages the LGBTQ community not
to dwell on the negativity surrounding the mistakes of the past, but
instead, to look forward at what needs to be done now to achieve one
national and universal goal: full equality for ALL.

Through action-oriented events and inter-generational dialogue, LGBT
Change examines the core issues facing our community in order to
channel those priorities to our leaders. This grassroots initiative
focuses on capturing anyone voicing the ideas that continue to
activate change in the LGBT community.

Last week, the New York State Assembly passed the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA). The only remaining obstacle to the bill becoming law is the New York State Senate. The time is NOW to take action and make our final push to get the Senate to vote to end discrimination against transgender New Yorkers.

GENDA would amend the state’s human rights law to ban discrimination in housing, employment, credit and public accommodations. It also expands the state’s hate crimes law to explicitly include crimes against transgender people.

We need you to call your Senator and the lead Senate sponsor Tom Duane at their Albany offices to tell them that you want them to bring GENDA to the Senate floor and pass it. We’re at a crucial moment and it is vital that they hear from you.

Here’s how to make your calls:

1. Find your State Senator’s Albany phone number here. You can reach Senator Tom Duane at (518) 455-2451.

2. Tell them the number of the GENDA bill (S.2406) and ask them to support GENDA and bring it to the floor for a vote.

3. Use these talking points to convey the urgent need for GENDA and the broad support it has:

• Transgender people experience tremendous job discrimination. One-fifth of transgender New Yorkers have incomes below $10,000 a year.

• 28% of transgender New Yorkers have experienced a serious physical or sexual assault motivated by hate.

• 78% of New York voters support GENDA.

• Unions representing 2.1 million working New Yorkers support GENDA.

• 30 Fortune 500 companies based in cities like Rochester, Corning, New York City and White Plains already have non-discrimination policies that include gender identity and expression. It’s time for the rest of the state to catch up.

• 547 clergy and lay leaders representing over 20 different religious denominations support GENDA.

4. After your call, please report your results to our partners at the Empire State Pride Agenda. Tell them which Senators you called, who you spoke to in the Senator’s office, and what response you received. Your feedback will help us pass GENDA in 2010!

Working together, we can win! If you can’t call today, call tomorrow. Start making those phone calls now!

Can you help phone bank for GENDA this Thursday?

Phone banking is a key element in the strategy to win protections for transgender New Yorkers. If you have some time to spare, you can make a huge difference. The GENDA phone bank will take place this Thursday, March 11th, from 5:30 – 8:30 pm at the offices of the Empire State Pride Agenda. You can arrive any time between 5:30 and 7:30 pm and stay for as long as your schedule allows.

Please respond by calling Joanna at 212.627.0305, x103 or sending an email letting her know that you are available.

Please forward this message to anyone you think might be interested in helping.

I think these are all really pretty songs: one a Gershwin cover, & the others are by Sting, one with Cheb Mami on vocals. “Mad About You” is from that gem Soul Cages, & inspired by the story of David & Bathsheba.

& Then, minutes later, it snags Best Picture, too. I suppose I should go see it now.