For the very first time, I’m going to Seattle! Today’s a travel day, so I may not get emails and the like until I’m back on terra firma.
Category: comings & goings
Have I mentioned that I’m going away for about a 10 days to visit Seattle and Portland?! I am, and SOON.
I’m going to Seattle in order to give the keynote at Esprit this year – which is in Port Angeles, WA, & I’m told it’s beautiful. I’ve been told many times it’s a fun conference, too. I’ll be doing two workshops while I’m there as well. I’ll be there from 5/17 – 5/19.
I will probably also be doing some kind of author gig in Seattle while I”m there, possibly on the 20th or 21st.
And I will get to see a very, very old friend in Portland who I haven’t seen in — at least a few years now — which is really too great.
So many anniversaries: today, 15 years ago, I met the person I married.
Some days it is hard to imagine how much we have been through in that time, and other days it is as if nothing has changed.
Still other days I am astonished by the luck I had in finding someone who loves me so much, who has taken such good care of me through some difficult stuff, and who has, in turn, asked much of me.
This website is officially 10 years old today – it may be older than that, but that’s the earliest screen capture on file with the wayback machine. The online forums were there right from the start, too, when the site had a whopping 3355 hits. (I’m at 1.6 million or so now.)
There is no evidence of the blog until November 2003, except of course for my own posts on it, which start in August 2003, but either way, there is no denying that 2013 is my 10th anniversary year. I was writing My Husband Betty for the first three months of 2003, so finally, I will admit it: it took me three months to write, only.
Either way: it’s been a long time. Love to all of you who’ve followed me through the years – and some of you really have been reading the whole time, which blows my mind. An author could not be more thankful for such loyal readers.
But of course, as with the books, a very special thanks to my wife, who was then my husband, but who was always the one who made the blog machine work. She created the first website, convinced me to have the forums, and the blog, and then, later, challenged me to blog daily. She keeps challenging me, too, to write, to talk, to keep on; I would not trade this decade with her for anything in the world.
And if you’d like to make a donation in honor of my 10th anniversary, you can do so: to me, of course, or to NCTE (which also turns 10 this year), or to Fair Wisconsin’s Education Fund (which is also tax deductible).
So my lovely wife has been working a lot of hours for a lot of months in order to create Lawrence University’s new website. It launched this week and I for one wanted to congratulate her on this gigantic project. Well done, doll!
… and I manage to return home with the flu or a stomach virus or whatever miserable thing it is. But at least, at least! it waited until all the good stuff was over, & even waited until the flight was over, because that would have sucked in a big way.
… and there’s this one, too, of me and my wife.
I was a giant fan of his in the early 90s when “House of Buggin’” was on TV and I was maybe the only white girl living in Washington Heights. No, really.
And he was a totally nice guy, too.
But this PSA kinda gives you the lowdown.
My wife, in the meantime, had a lovely time chatting with his wife, and a good time was had by all.
(And John, if you happen to read this: I’m not the trans one. That was my version of funny.)
Wow, it’s snowing again, for like the 18th time this week, feels like.
I have decided that there will be an exclamation point next to my little weather app until April, although at that point, of course, tornado season starts.
Making it through winters here is a little like making it home on the subway during rush hour: exhausting, but you really do feel like you’re made of sterner stuff than you thought.
This is the view from our front step.
For the very first time since the publication of My Husband Betty I’m going to be doing a conference & keynote talk on the West Coast – specifically, at Esprit, up in Port Angeles, WA. I’ll be there on May 17th & 18th, with one workshop on the 17th (on Trans Relationships) and one on the 18th (on sex), in addition to the keynote on the 18th. It’s supposed to be beautiful there, so I’m looking forward to that, but also, I’ve heard a lot about how fun this conference is over the years.
I would love to do something in/around Seattle while I’m there as well as in Portland, OR, if that’s possible, so if you’re at a school or bookstore or with an organization that brings in speakers, let me know! It’s a good time to book me to do something out there as I can discount any “piggybacked” events.
I am still also thinking about trying to be in San Francisco for my birthday which is earlier that week, so if you’re in the Bay Area, get in touch.
My donate link should work now, if anyone still wants to help us get to the GLAAD Media Awards or for any other reason.
I was pleased to get to speak to Senator Tammy Baldwin for a brief minute last night – in a gender-neutral bathroom, no less – who gave me a thumbs up when I mentioned that I taught gender studies. That was cool. She spoke while introducing historian Dick Wagner, who was receiving an award from Fair Wisconsin. She told the story of seeing Geraldine Ferraro accept the US VIP nomination in 1984, and it was pretty incredible. From what I hear, she has told that story before, but I had never heard it, and it brought me back to watching that myself – and the same feelings for me, at 15, thinking “anything is possible now.” It was a big, big, audible crack in the glass ceiling — as is Senator Baldwin’s current seat.
I also had a nice talk with Zach Wahls about the terms ally, queer, queerspawn, and the like. He is a pretty remarkable guy, and his talk was the right combination of serious, sad, frustrated, and full of love. We should be very, very glad to have him in these queer communities. And that he speaks on behalf of equality – not just marriage equality, mind you – as an Eagle Scout is pretty damned cool. Hopefully I will do an interview with him in the next couple of months.
Finally: I am not disappearing altogether from blogging. I am taking a huge break from FB, specifically, because I have too many ongoing misgivings with the site, for various reasons – and now seemed like the right time. In some ways, what I’m frustrated by is the odd merger of personal and professional life that FB encourages; here at my blog, it’s a little easier to stay at arm’s length, which is what I need right now. But there is nothing wrong, per se; I am not depressed or angry or hurt or anything like it. A little tired of the shallow ways of connecting that FB also encourages, perhaps, but that is all.
I am happy to have people send me a heads up about interesting things going on about gender or transness or all of the other stuff you know I’m interested in. Feel free to email me or leave a comment if you want to say hi.
A huge THANK YOU to those of you who have written expressing concern or good luck or just to say: you earned a break. It’s very, very much appreciated.
I’m going to be taking a break from blogging and other social networking for a while.
Thanks for understanding.
Tomorrow I’ll be at the Fair Wisconsin Education Fund’s conference; tonight, at Fair Wisconsin’s Gala Celebration, where Zach Wahls will be speaking and Tammy Baldwin will be in attendance.
I’m doing a workshop on gender identity and the LGBTQ, and there are tons more useful and interesting workshops and panels. You can check out the whole conference book here.
It’s not too late to register or buy a ticket to the gala dinner, so get on it!
Hi all! It’s rare I do this, but I’ve just been invited to go to the GLAAD Media Awards Banquet, but I can’t afford the ticket or the travel!
If there is someone out there who might make a donation to GLAAD anyway, you can buy my $500 ticket and get the tax deduction. I would be happy to consider some kind of barter in exchange, too.
Or, the many of you out there can help fund with just a small donation. If you need an email address, firstname.lastname@example.org should work.
Pretty please? (If you can’t, feel free to pass this on to someone who might and can, please.)
Apparently they have been all day today – I just forgot to post about it!
Our message boards seem to be down for now, & my tech is fast asleep. I’ll get her eye on it in the morning, & in the meantime, sleep tight & feel free to chat in the comments section of this post.
It’s the end of the year, and as much as I would like to write back to every email I get from readers, I never do. If I did I would never get my own work done. BUT: I do get them, and I do read them, and I do love them. I wish, too, that I had answers for people: how to accept an emerging need to transition (in yourself or your loved one), how to be fair to a wife or husband who can’t accept that transition, how to tell children or other relatives; how to deal with employment and coming out to people and accepting whatever loss might come.
I don’t have those answers. I do know that transition is one of the most subtle and difficult things I have ever lived through. A good transition – which ours was – doesn’t have gigantic amounts of drama. Everything legal and medical has gone relatively smoothly. But everything changes; there is nothing in our lives that wasn’t effected by her transition.
So in a sense, that’s my advice to all of you who email: nothing will ever be the same, and you will be amazed at how entirely consuming and yet utterly boring a transition can be (if it goes well). If it doesn’t? Nothing will ever be the same then, either.
Thank you all for the emails – for telling me the books have been useful to you, or this blog, or some of the other various things I do and have done. It’s nice to feel appreciated. I’m just sorry I can’t pay everyone more personal attention, because so many of you need and deserve it, and there is so little out there for people living through this stuff. But do know that you aren’t alone. We do still run our online community forums, so do come there if you can.