I have all kinds of new respect for Jack White after this.
& Yes, I am Jesuit-educated. All hail the black Pope. (I’m kidding, though I do like this new guy.)
This post is dedicated to my friend from 6th grade, Brian Winkowski. We used to have a contest every year on Ash Wednesday to see which one of us could count more people with the ash smudge. We are both youngests from huge Catholic families, as apparently Colbert & White are too.