I Love This (Fat) Woman.

Posted by – February 21, 2013

I love this marvelous fat woman who wrote this article called “How Not to Be a Dick to your Fat Friends”.

First, because of her awesome hair.
Second, because she’s written things like this:

Almost inevitably, other women chime in with things they dislike about their own bodies. Then it feels like an evening spent rolling around in self-loathing and if I wanted to do that, I’d go to a Coldplay show or something. (I kid, I kid. Mostly.)

The funny thing is that this is meant to make other people feel better about their bodies but can have the opposite effect. If our bodies are similar, for example, and you’re telling me how gross your thighs are, that’s going to make me wonder a) why I’ve been sitting there content with my thighs when they are obviously so flawed and b) what you think about my thighs that you haven’t been telling me.

Really, because it’s true. We teach each other how to hate ourselves in more detail-oriented ways every day.

& This:

If you ask me about my cholesterol, I will totally tell you, my friend! But then I need you to believe me, OK? And if I were dealing with high cholesterol and you said, “Hey, I hear that walking for half an hour a day can help with that, let’s go to the park!” then I would totally be on the trail with you because walking at the park for half an hour with a friend sounds awesome.

Since we all live in a “wellness” obsessed culture, may I also add that it’s really stupid to assume that fat people don’t exercise. My mom was on her feet her whole life; she was also overweight her whole life.

(And may I just say, while I’m on the topic, that “wellness” is a dumb-ass word. The word is “health”. There is no way to use “wellness” where “health” isn’t appropriate, and oh, health is a word, and wellness is not. Soon we’re going to start calling morals “goodnesses” as our intelligence as a species drops down to an IQ of 80.)

and also, this:

Special note to other big fat fatties: This is also not cool to say to your smaller fat friends. See above, re: identity politics. “Fat” is harder to define when it’s those liminal 12-16 sizes but come on. Let’s not be dicks either.

As someone who has seen everything from size 6 to size 14, I am very much in the liminal category. Of course I also don’t say dumb ass things like “god I’m so fat” to women who are bigger than me. Or smaller than me, really. I don’t think of myself as fat, for the record. The horror.

I’m going to add a couple of others: skinny ladies, do not imply that I only have this fantastic rack because I’m a size 12. The last time I lost 30 lbs I went *up* a cup size, not down one.

Also, do not look surprised when I mention having been a gym rat or being able to do 50 pushups. One of the reasons some of us are not skinny is because we’re muscular. (We often end up with higher BMIs as a result, though I’ve been spared that indignity, at least.)

This post brought to you by someone cranky from trying to drop a size, if you really need to know.

5 Comments on I Love This (Fat) Woman.

  1. Thank you for this.

    (Hi, I wrote that thing!)

  2. helenboyd says:

    If there’s some other link you’d like me to put up. do let me know!

  3. divadarya says:

    she is just a giant ball of big fat awesomeness with even more awesome hair and the guts to wear red lips; I relate.

    The world is more pleasant when you see the humanity of people; even assholes. The Buddhist concept of Maitri or loving kindness towards all beings is slowly sneaking up on me.

  4. divadarya says:

    PS: if you want to find the biggest concentration of miserable, haughty, entitled self-righteous fuckwads in L.A. just go to a Whole Foods Market. Run by a self-righteous, anti-union capitalist who has taken this commune and turned it into Vegan Politburo.

  5. helenboyd says:

    ha, that’s funny. yes, there is that whole first world set of people who make sure everything they eat was carefully tended on the north side of the barn and not the south who don’t seem to know their food was kindly picked my migrant labor.

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