It’s the end of the year, and as much as I would like to write back to every email I get from readers, I never do. If I did I would never get my own work done. BUT: I do get them, and I do read them, and I do love them. I wish, too, that I had answers for people: how to accept an emerging need to transition (in yourself or your loved one), how to be fair to a wife or husband who can’t accept that transition, how to tell children or other relatives; how to deal with employment and coming out to people and accepting whatever loss might come.

I don’t have those answers. I do know that transition is one of the most subtle and difficult things I have ever lived through. A good transition – which ours was – doesn’t have gigantic amounts of drama. Everything legal and medical has gone relatively smoothly. But everything changes; there is nothing in our lives that wasn’t effected by her transition.

So in a sense, that’s my advice to all of you who email: nothing will ever be the same, and you will be amazed at how entirely consuming and yet utterly boring a transition can be (if it goes well). If it doesn’t? Nothing will ever be the same then, either.

Thank you all for the emails – for telling me the books have been useful to you, or this blog, or some of the other various things I do and have done. It’s nice to feel appreciated. I’m just sorry I can’t pay everyone more personal attention, because so many of you need and deserve it, and there is so little out there for people living through this stuff. But do know that you aren’t alone. We do still run our online community forums, so do come there if you can.


2 Replies to “Emails”

  1. A very nice message. GRIN Its too late for me, your two books already helped me. I had already decided to fully transition, and it gave me an insight on how hard it would be for my now ex-wife. I mean there is usually only a 5% chance a marriage will survive, and while that is tragic, it is understandable.


    I am four years and a few months past the transition commitment start date. I just had my six month post SRS anniversary – and GRIN, yes, you said it right, it can be such a wonderful journey, even with all the terrible things we must go through.

    I laughed at what you wrote, about losing a bit of the excitement at the end, but to be honest? I love being just another mundane woman in the world!

    Yes, I do pay forward. Not having a huge name recognition, grin, I still field questions and work with people like us – mainly in face-to-face activities in Louisiana. It has also led me to be active in FLAG as I feel so much empathy for those who have LGBT family.

    So I applaud you. I was thrilled to see you are still an activist. I almost always open your site postings and I don’t mind posting a reply, even knowing there is likely to be no reply in return. I mean how else are you going to know how your work is succeeding?

    I love you in return – HAPPY New Year.

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