Forcible or Not

This past week, Republicans wanted to redefine rape to mean only “forcible rape.” To understand how ridiculously insensitive – and ignorant – that is, read Jeanette Freidman’s account of her own rape 37 years ago and why she didn’t have any bruises in the aftermath. They failed, at least, largely due to ongoing pressure such as the #DearJohn campaign that happened on Twitter & focused on getting Boehner’s attention.

I don’t think we would even have to discuss something so heinous if we didn’t already live in a rape culture — where most forms of rape are already ignored or even openly encouraged:


Rape culture is rape being used as a weapon, a tool of war and genocide and oppression. Rape culture is rape being used as a corrective to “cure” queer women. Rape culture is a militarized culture and “the natural product of all wars, everywhere, at all times, in all forms.”

Rape culture is 1 in 33 men being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is encouraging men to use the language of rape to establish dominance over one another (“I’ll make you my bitch”). Rape culture is making rape a ubiquitous part of male-exclusive bonding. Rape culture is ignoring the cavernous need for men’s prison reform in part because the threat of being raped in prison is considered an acceptable deterrent to committing crime, and the threat only works if actual men are actually being raped.

I wish we didn’t.