So for the first time in my life, I’m facing a huge holiday with no family and no old friends anywhere nearby, and it sucks.
First I’d like to apologize to anyone I’ve ever been around who wasn’t spending holidays with family when I was, as this week I’ve been awash in people telling me all about their plans – where they’re going, who’s coming in from how far away, what they’re eating, all of it. I’m sure I’ve done it myself because I was entirely clueless to what this is like. I’ve had many gracious invitations to join various festivities, too, but it doesn’t make being in a new place without my partner or any other family here any easier, really.
If you know anyone who doesn’t have anyone around, DO make plans with them around the holidays even if it’s not on the holiday itself. Ask them how they are. Let them talk. You won’t replace who they miss, but you might keep them sane, or even alive. All of us in the LGBT communities know family holidays are especially brutal – for many of us, the holidays are a reminder that our birth families don’t get it, or don’t accept us, or just don’t want our confusing identities & relationships getting in the way of their less complicated lives.
This year, then, I’m very thankful for a family who accepts me and her for who we are, because it’s easier to know I’m alone due to geography, not a lack of love, and I’m thankful too for the various new friends who have gone out of their way to find me something to do / somewhere to be this week.
For those of you who are without anyone, hold tight. Seasons change. But she’s got way better advice than I do…
… and she makes me thankful, even, for kind-hearted poets. If there’s anyone out there who would feel a lot better getting an email from me, let me know, & I’ll send one.