Groovy, no?
Nice to hear the echoes of T.Rex in the Smith Westerns’ track.
15 Days
- President Obama appointed the first Latina to the Supremes: Imagine what would have happened to the Supreme Court under four more years of radical Republicans. Obama has thus averted a long-term dramatic swing to the extreme right on the court, and appointed a progressive to keep matters in check.
16 Days & Another Reason to Vote for Dems
President Obama dramatically reversed the reputation of the United States around the world, with now most nations looking favorably on the US, and receiving the Nobel Peace Prize as one consequence.
Welcome Jezebels
Welcome to anyone who’s coming over from my post on Jezebel and the F*cking While Feminist series that’s been happening over there all weekend.
The comments posted over there did make me want to clarify a few things:
I was talking about celibacy & monogamy as ways to be feminist *in addition to* being slutty, liking casual sex, BDSM, or whatever else you do that turns you on. What upsets me is that sometimes it seems like you somehow can’t be seen as a sex positive feminist if you don’t like those things, as if choosing to be monogamous or celibate or being vanilla perforce means you’re denying your sexuality. It doesn’t. Sometimes it just means you’re not fucking anyone right now.
I can certainly see how my “just anyone” might imply slut shaming, but I certainly didn’t intend that. Some sluts are picky. Some aren’t. However you like it.
My starting point is safe, sane & consensual. Perhaps I should have made that clear. That would imply:
(1) I was talking about a willing vulnerability, or choosing to be vulnerable, with someone you trust;
(2) imagining turning someone into a sweaty, exhausted mess who WANTED to be turned into a sweaty exhausted mess by you;
(3) it doesn’t matter whether or not you actually could do that (is there anyone in the world who could seduce anyone?!); I was trying to get at the powerful feeling you have when you imagine you could, &
(4) the implication that imagining fucking someone automatically implies either ogling or rape kind of blew me away. I’m talking about something that’s going on in your head and which you are exactly not broadcasting, sharing, or indulging.
In a sense what I was getting at is that acknowledging your own desire and feeling empowered by it is entirely feminist, whether or not you’re actually indulging that desire with anyone but yourself.
(& Thanks, CollegeBookworm & a few others, for getting it.)
(Not) F*cking While Feminist
Sometimes I get the feeling that being either celibate or monogamous is somehow not feminist & that bugs the hell out of me. Joan or Arc was celibate after all; the whole idea of feminism, I thought, was to value your autonomy and power as a woman – and sometimes that means choosing NOT to share your sexuality and vulnerability because doing so might make you feel less than. In other words: I find it far more feminist to get myself to my 5th orgasm than to have mediocre sex with someone who can’t seem to figure out what to do with a clitoris, and I worry, when it comes to young women, that people believe you can’t be feminist if you’re not fucking anyone but yourself.
I’ve rarely liked one night stands or casual sex of whatever kind. More power to you if you do; it’s probably a lot easier to get off with someone else. The hottest sex I’ve had throughout my life is with someone I’ve got a deep simpatico with, an intense connection, and that doesn’t necessarily mean someone I can have meaningful conversation with; sometimes it’s just there, in the charge that comes every time your eyes meet.
I hate the idea of some patriarchal Christian Cult of Prudery owning celibacy; those were the guys who put Joan of Arc to death, after all. But to me there’s a huge difference between repressing your sexual desire because Your Daddy Says So (whether that Daddy is the Big Man in the Sky or your actual father) and acknowledging your desire but not necessarily doing anything with it. Being able to enjoy your sexual self even when you’re not fucking is the feminist bit – it’s about having desire, celebrating desire, your power and hotness and vulnerability. It’s that feeling of power-in-reverse, walking around with the inscrutability of Mona Lisa, imagining your own desire and someone else’s, as you run around doing your mundane errands or going to classes, that someone you might choose could help you – and them, become a sweaty, exhausted, happy mess.
That doesn’t mean sluts don’t rock. They do. Sometimes, though, you’re the only one in your life whose worth your effort.
Choosing being the keyword.
It’s that other story about Catherine the Great’s sexual predilections that always appealed to me: she had her ladies in waiting “try out” potential lovers for her so she didn’t waste her time with a dud. (& It’s my best guess that it was one of the duds who started the horse rumor.) She wouldn’t fuck just anyone. Most of us don’t have ladies in waiting to serve this useful function, however, so instead, maybe, we just choose to be picky.
17 Days & Counting
Democrats also:
- Extended a $2500 tax credit to 5 million families to help with college tuition.
18 Days
Even as a smoker, this one was majorly important, but Democrats:
- Granted regulatory power to the FDA to control tobacco products, another dramatic reversal of the Bush years that industry has lobbied hard to prevent.
19 Days Until Nov 2
Also, Obama:
- Signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act that makes it easier to sue for wage discrimination, a dramatic reversal of the bill’s fortunes under Bush.
Long overdue and much needed for people who discover systemic discrimination years after their hire.
20 Reasons to Vote Democrat on Nov 2
Because Obama can’t get anything done without Democrats in Congress (as pathetic as they often are). And for all you Obama nay-sayers, here goes, one day at a time, one major accomplishment a day.
First of all, he:
- Stabilized the top 20 banks without federalizing them.
- Reduced the rate of foreclosures inherited from the Bush administration.
Breaking: Judge Orders No DADT Enforcement
Wow:
A federal judge on Tuesday ordered the U.S. military to stop enforcing the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, effectively ending the ban on openly gay troops.
U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips’ permanent worldwide injunction — praised by gay rights organizations — orders the military “immediately to suspend and discontinue any investigation, or discharge, separation, or other proceeding, that may have been commenced” under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.
The judge, a Clinton appointee based in the Central District of California, previously ruled that the policy regarding gays serving in the military violated service members’ Fifth Amendment rights to due process and freedom of speech, but had delayed issuing the injunction.
The military was sued by Log Cabin Republicans, a gay rights group.
LCRs, I promise never to make fun of you again.