Our relationship has changed significantly since those heady days of courtship, as we have not been intimate in 6 years or so, but we still hug and spoon, and lately there’s more reaching out with a hand or foot just before we fall asleep.

She’s playing the piano as I type this, and I realize that in spite of where we are, and the difficulties we’ve endured, I’d rather be with no one else.

I’m sure my partner and I aren’t unique, but for us it really is warm and fuzzy, 29 years after we first got together, 20 years after we got married, and two and a half years since I transitioned. We have no children. The renewed relationship didn’t just happen. We worked through a lot of things during my transition. She got counselling, mainly for issues of loss of security. We both did a workshop that really helped us to break through the issues remaining between us.

Of course, it helps that we have always both been bisexual. We’re still attracted to each other. She is no longer interested in men, and never was interested in “manly” men (clearly!). I am interested in men, but at this point I don’t think it’s a crucial part of my development. We have always given each other room to grow, and that is still the case.

I wish Kelzi the best.

We just celebrated our 14th. We went out and celebrated. Transition is a challenge, but so are a lot of things. The intimacy, our celebrations and our identity as a family didn’t end. How it works between us and how our relationship evolves is due to a complex myriad of things that we. . . i guess don’t spend time tring to sort out. Life is basically good and we move on.

In many ways as a couple and family it’s better. My spouse and i just had a conversation about this not long ago. The roles between my spouse and I didn’t change, but it’s now visible to others since we’re seen as a same sex couple. We are no longer feel we are part of “mommy wars” or career / life “balance” debate like were felt before or when the division of labor to raise our son is required. . . no one has any. . . um. . . “benchmark” to what a mom and a mada should be doing to raise their kiddo. To name a few things.

shrug + All the best,
Julia

We both recognise that we really should split. We just can’t, we love each other too much.

Neither of us are attracted to one another. That doesn’t seem to matter, though I don’t know why. We’ve thought about things, but for both of us, the only man we want in our lives is our son. When he flies the nest, what then? By that time, we’ll be in our 60s.

Either of us could be swept off our feet of course. I think it is though that neither of us wants to be, we like things as they are. That may change of course, but I think if it was going to, it would have by now.