Comments on: From a Child of a Trans Parent http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2009/07/22/from-a-child-of-a-trans-parent/ helen boyd's journal of gender & trans issues Wed, 08 Feb 2012 01:17:33 -0500 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Ruby http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2009/07/22/from-a-child-of-a-trans-parent/comment-page-1/#comment-64590 Ruby Mon, 07 Feb 2011 19:17:03 +0000 http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=8651#comment-64590 Our son, who is now 19, and was 17 when he found out about his transsexual parent, would see this differently, I am pretty sure. He is allowed to call his TS parent "Mom." For us, a female parent is a mom, momma, mamacita, mother or mommy, not a father. I am not jealous of sharing the privilege or the title. When our son is meeting someone new, he "comes out" to them by saying "I have two moms," and then smiles broadly. Their reaction to this identity gives him information about who he is getting to know. When someone is unwilling to share the title for a female parent, it is effectively "gender entitlement," in other words, a sentiment that says, it is MY gender and you can't have it. This is the same sentiment that men who dislike and feel threatened by outspoken and assertive women are experiencing. The roots of this entitlement stem from misogyny, that age-old product of patriarchal society. When I saw the documentary, my feeling about the kids was how honest they were about what was really troubling them: "I just wish they would get along" or something to that effect. I am certain that when two adults are unable to reconcile their love for one another above and beyond gender and sex, it is far more damaging to a child than if the child observes a growth process without the bickering, wailing, and blaming. This week on screen, I watched a young man in Iowa stand up to testify in the court in favor of homosexual marriage. He was raised by two lesbians; he's always been in the top of his class academically; he was exceptionally well spoken, handsome, confident. A child does not NEED to have a father to be healthy. Ruby Our son, who is now 19, and was 17 when he found out about his transsexual parent, would see this differently, I am pretty sure. He is allowed to call his TS parent “Mom.” For us, a female parent is a mom, momma, mamacita, mother or mommy, not a father. I am not jealous of sharing the privilege or the title. When our son is meeting someone new, he “comes out” to them by saying “I have two moms,” and then smiles broadly. Their reaction to this identity gives him information about who he is getting to know.

When someone is unwilling to share the title for a female parent, it is effectively “gender entitlement,” in other words, a sentiment that says, it is MY gender and you can’t have it. This is the same sentiment that men who dislike and feel threatened by outspoken and assertive women are experiencing. The roots of this entitlement stem from misogyny, that age-old product of patriarchal society.

When I saw the documentary, my feeling about the kids was how honest they were about what was really troubling them: “I just wish they would get along” or something to that effect. I am certain that when two adults are unable to reconcile their love for one another above and beyond gender and sex, it is far more damaging to a child than if the child observes a growth process without the bickering, wailing, and blaming.

This week on screen, I watched a young man in Iowa stand up to testify in the court in favor of homosexual marriage. He was raised by two lesbians; he’s always been in the top of his class academically; he was exceptionally well spoken, handsome, confident. A child does not NEED to have a father to be healthy.

Ruby

]]> By: Donna http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2009/07/22/from-a-child-of-a-trans-parent/comment-page-1/#comment-62624 Donna Thu, 23 Jul 2009 02:45:49 +0000 http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=8651#comment-62624 I am quite sure that my own son (who is now 19; I transitioned when he was 14) would have had an identical reaction had he seen this. He didn't lose his father; the fact that I'm a woman makes no difference. I'll forward this to him and see if he'd like to comment. Donna I am quite sure that my own son (who is now 19; I transitioned when he was 14) would have had an identical reaction had he seen this. He didn’t lose his father; the fact that I’m a woman makes no difference. I’ll forward this to him and see if he’d like to comment.

Donna

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