All I can say is that when your body starts feminising without treatment, and you’re a TS woman, it gets … disorientating. You’re not really thinking straight, part of that’s purely hormonal, the system can get quite chaotic. Part of it’s psychological, you’ve spent so much energy doing the “boy act” and suddenly you can’t any more. Not as in “This is all too much, I just can’t do it any more!” – though that soon becomes the case. No, it’s more of “even if I wanted to, it’s not actually medically possible, the best I can do would be some kind of FtoM transition afterwards”.

It doesn’t help that, unlike normal transitions, the medics are clueless. Normal rules about HRT doses don’t apply. There are so darned few of us this happens to, and while it may seem like an answer to your prayers, the legal complications alone are daunting. You have no control, you can’t pause and catch breath, it’s sink or swim in a state of desperation and panic. You don’t have the years of preparation, of thinking it through, of planning.

What I was pointing out was that there’s a hell of a lot to adjust to before surgery if your husband is living as a woman in the world. The surgery may be more to adjust to, but it’s certainly not the only thing.

Not wanting surgery and not being able to afford surgery are two different things, I’ll add.

As to Renée, I honestly felt sorry for her. I’ll be blunt. I would like to see her kick Chloe to the curb, and take her for all she is worth in divorce court. I mean really, it is obvious that the poor woman was not involved in her husband’s actions. Chloe cleaned out the 501(K) and took off for Thailand, leaving her behind to worry about what to expect. I seriously doubt she is at all happy with Chloe being “Mommy.” I was married before I transitioned. I hoped to end our marriage on amiable terms. My situation was a bit different. I actually stayed home and kept house. I was more suited to that, as I was always a disaster as a “man.” It was sink or swim when my ex decided to leave. I learned to get along quickly. I went back to work (I had actually quit working to drive my father-in-law to the nursing home to visit my mother-in-law. After my mother-in-law died, I needed to return to work, but I wanted a better job than I had had. I went back to my sale associate position at a major department store, where I had started working right after my transition began. My ex got tired of waiting for me to get where I could live on my own. Thanks to her, I not only learned to swim, I did better than I had ever done before. It is obvious, Renée is at Chloe’s mercy. She is scared to be on her on, and Chloe takes advantage of that. Yes, Chloe got her money’s worth out of her FFS, but really, I honestly did not feel she vibed as a woman. I mean, the line about not being able to decide if she wanted to be a girl, or be with a girl. I bet that one make Michael Bailey’s heart go pitter-patter. The whole thing was a farce. I find it funny that the only reason the transgender types hated it is because it emphasized surgery. Well, I’m sorry, but that is how the real world works. No, surgery doesn’t make you a woman. I think Chloe illustrates that very well. But not wanting surgery indicates that you don’t really want to be a woman in my opinion. I don’t buy into the deconstructionist view. Chloe is another exception that proves the rule. Beyond that, I felt that Chloe is a poster child for the transgender view. And a good example of why I don’t accept that identity. I prefer Harry Benjamin Syndrome. Yes, I am “one of those.” Really, if you have problems with the fact that Chloe had surgery, you are missing the point.

It was heartbreaking to see what Renée was going through. I’m not in their situation, but I was surprised that Chloe went ahead not so much with transition as with surgery with Renée still feeling as she did. Maybe they had counselling. Maybe Renée had counselling. They didn’t say. I doubt I would still be with my spouse if she had not received counselling to help her deal with her fears and if we had not done a couples weekend together — well before any surgical intervention.

I was even more surprised, nay, stunned, when it came out that Chloe had spent a small fortune without Renée having been in on the decision. Maybe Renée should have asked. Maybe Chloe should have been more forthcoming.

I almost didn’t watch this one. I hadn’t planned to, but I was home at the right time and figured I couldn’t bitch about it if I didn’t watch it. I didn’t even have anything to drink. And it was better than I thought it would be. But unless someone can make a documentary about trans people that’s more real and less stereotyped, I’m kinda done too.