I really do love the NYT. They put me in touch with rare tribes of people & exotic types of lives I wouldn’t know otherwise: in this case, the fine dining set, who worry about whether women are served first.
I didn’t even know that was the tradition, prole that I am.
Five years ago, she said, she often had to fight to get servers to let her be the point person for a group of men and women dining together. Servers had a stubborn tropism toward the men.
But lately, she said, that hasnâ€™t been as true, especially downtown, where she has noticed that if she makes the first eye contact with a server and seems the most inquisitive and purposeful, the server notices, and responds to it. â€œBody language is recognized in a way it wasnâ€™t before,â€ Ms. DeLozier said. â€œI think itâ€™s possible for a woman to take the lead now.â€
Those nutty folks downtown, treating women & men as equals. Still, a point I’ve made in the past & which this article shores up is that the more formal you get, the more gendered things are. My usual example is formal clothes – traditional tuxes/suits vs. gowns and LBDs – but dining, and wine selection, are apparently other good examples. What interesting to me is that when the restauranteurs have tried to de-gender things, the diners have asked that they serve ladies first. You can lead a snob to water…