Comments on: Five Questions With… Julia Serano

By: Masculinity Is Not Inherently Practical nor Natural | Self-Organizing Man

Masculinity Is Not Inherently Practical nor Natural | Self-Organizing Man — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:41:13 +0000

[...] as femininity. Julia Serano, author of Whipping Girl, riffs on this point in an interview at My Husband Betty. Very little that we do as humans is natural. Not our cell phones, pencils, automobiles, central [...]

By: kia_the_physicist

kia_the_physicist — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 04:27:42 +0000

And now for a rant about the infantilization of femininity:

* Who ever invented the now-ubiquitous “babydoll tops” that look silly more than anything else?

* I am no fan of high-end fashion, but every time I see an ad, I cannot help but stare. The models of super-sexy, mega-expensive, uber-femme dresses seem to get younger and younger. The dresses are not meant for 12-year olds, so why does it seem that 12-year olds do all the modeling? Why are people afraid of real women’s bodies?

* Jeers to all of the companies that decided that career women should be “sexy” in addition to powerful. I cannot go on the internet and find a decent pantsuit that is neither low cut nor excessively tight nor covered in “girlish” frills and embellishments. The male-dominated culture has taken revenge against women by turning the workplace into a fashion show. (Read the Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf). I wouldn’t be surprised if people started referring to working women again as “career girls” like they did in the 50′s.

* Are women always portrayed as young, small, skinny, and naive so that men will still be able to APPEAR dominant? (In light of having to share real power with women)

* As time goes on, a man’s value goes up because his experience is seen as valuable. In contrast, a woman’s value goes down the way that a car depreciates in value, because her youthful looks give way to maturity. Why is maturity in women a bad thing? Why is gray hair seen by women as “ugly” and not “distiguished” like a man’s gray hair? Where does our culture leave older women?

* Every day I struggle because I cannot take myself as seriously as my male peers. I work in a field where it is necessary to be agressive in your research to survive and where being a good leader is important. Yet every time I see a man, I think that he has some special abilities that I lack, that he is somehow “naturally suited” to being a scientist while I am just an anomaly. I feel guilty and selfish for not planning on being a stay-at-home mom. I don’t take other women seriously the way I would a man. They are somehow “less” to me, and I turn that view against myself. And being a lesbian doesn’t help either. And that is why I am a feminist – my survival and happiness depends on it.

Rant over.

By: kia_the_physicist

kia_the_physicist — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 03:53:41 +0000

The decision to transition is never an easy one. It can take years to make, and sometimes a lifetime. That is because there are so many things to consider: how you will fit into society, the prospects for successful relationships, family needs, career considerations, level of self-acceptance, your system of moral principles, who you are accountable to in your life, etc…
There are some men who are just really, really feminine, and who will be content if society sees them as such. There are some men for whom femininity is an interest (like fashion designers), and some for which it is a turn-on. And there are some men who really would be better off if society saw them as a woman, even if, after transition, they will never be able to completely identify with women due their male childhood and plain biological reality.
A lot of people get worked up about sexuality. That is because the gatekeepers of hormones and surgery, the psychiatric community, consider sexual orientation and sexual fantasies in deciding what to do with candidates for MtF transition. There is a huge intellectual war going on about autogynephilia – google autogynephilia and you will see what I mean. The most tragic casualty of this conflict is the truth – the only way you can be accepted as a gender-variant person is to be transsexual and to be a “real tranny”, you need to be straight and know you were a girl since toddlerhood. This leads to a lot of lies to therapists and even some self-deception. This also causes incredible competition among t-girls for validation. What we really need is increased acceptance of all gender-variant people, from the occasional crossdresser to the desperate MtF. If there is no ideal heterosexual model to conform to, people will be more honest and will therefore be able to analyze their desire to transition with a clear head.
How do we do this? Easy – let’s expand society’s definitions of male and female. For women, lets revive feminism! (I am the kind of woman who would have loved to live during the 70′s!). Let’s change the feminist rhetoric from fighting a patriarchal conspiracy to fighting the portrayals of women by the dominant media and consumer culture. There are authors who have already addressed this – let’s turn their ideas into action. For men, let’s start with the wonderful documentary by Jackson Katz: “Tough Guise”. We need to get away from the violent “tough guy” image associated with men in popular culture. Men need to be seen as people with needs and feelings too. And to help both men and women – we need to support gay and lesbian rights (The Religious Right seems hell-bent on banning homosexuals from marriage, the army, and from churches – the three things that represent American “values” – without which homosexuals seem weird and un-American.)
If the gender roles are blurred in this way, more people will be able to fit into them. Effeminate men and butch women will no longer have to hide at the fringes of society. Crossdressers – if they ever get mobilized (and spend less time on Fictionmania) – will be able to dress how they like and be seen for what they are. Unsure transsexuals of both the MtF and FtM types will be able to see a range of different identities as alternatives to transition. In short, the strict gender binary sucks – Let’s throw it out the window.

PS – My main complaint about the literature about transsexuality and all the talk about autogynephilia is that it completely ignores FtM transsexuals, suggesting that all women don’t ever think about sex. Why isn’t autoeroticism talked about in the context of FtMs or gay men or lesbians? Maybe it is because changing from male to female is seen as a “step down” rather than a potential improvement, and so therefore it is inherently bad, and subject to intense scrutiny. Just an idea.

By: jessica

jessica — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:56:32 +0000

At this point I am coming to just plain resent labels. We are all so different and I cringe when we are lumped together under any label. I applaud the concepts that do not overgeneralize cisgender women or transwomen.

For myself I have found it far more sane and less derogatory to describe my situation as simply being a vaginally challenged woman, for now. People laugh at first, thinking I’m making some PC joke, but many have the concept hit them later. It’s far more honest, to the point, and portrays my handicap as it should be instead of as a disorder or mistake of nature.

I’m not changing who I am. Very little of my personality has changed 4 years into transition, nor will change post surgery, other than my perspectives and the ability of the culture in which I live to cope with me.

By: marci

marci — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 16:26:15 +0000

Call me a heretic, but the word “transwoman” sounds to me like nothing more than a reworking of “shemale.” Believe me, I fully understand the inner feeling of the need and desire to “be a woman,” but that does not mean that one actually “feels like a woman,” because no woman feels like a man who desires to be woman; therefore, that feeling in the male is a uniquely male experience, an experience that is lost in the fog of self-proclaimed womanhood. And that is a shame, because continuously embracing that experience is not only free of delusion, it is also transcendental and spiritual.

By: vanlevy

vanlevy — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 02:35:55 +0000

I have spent a good portion of my life trying to learn what femininity is. I find there are many trangender who just are not interested. The appearance is enough. However one should not be condensing to these people, as each person must struggle with their own life

By: kimberlytp

kimberlytp — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 13:31:48 +0000

http://bookblog.net/gender/analysis.php

it’s called the “gender genie.” everybody ought to try it. what do you think?

By: Sarah Lake

Sarah Lake — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 07:58:23 +0000

What does it matter, Marci, what we are? Surely it’s what other people think we are that is of significance. I have found other people see me as a woman. I make no claims. I feel no need to. But that’s how I live my life and I deal with whatever comes my way because of it no less than any other woman.

I found reading Whipping Girl an amazing experience. Julia brilliantly articulated ideas that have been rattling around in my brain for the last number of years and had never been able to articulate myself so clearly.

I’m especially happy to read in this interview Julia’s thoughts on so-called ‘autogynephilia’. I experienced this in an exactly similar way. Looking back since commencing transition it has been obvious to me that these symptoms were a coping mechanism most especially since they vanished into thin air as soon as I allowed myself to be myself and to express the emotions I never dared to before.

By: caprice

caprice — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 01:13:58 +0000

There’s nothing wrong with being a feminine man. I know a fair number of them, of various sexual orientations. But they are quite different from transwomen.

By: marci

marci — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:17:01 +0000

I think the more an MTF indulges one’s pre-transition fantasies and considers “her” self to be “a woman,” the more she becomes self deluded and, in many ways, loses her true self and that of her community. We are very very very girly men, and we will never ever be anything other than that, artificial vaginas and the magical effects of HRT notwithstanding. In that sense, we make up our own individual community with a unique culture, and we should not identify with women in anything other than our love of being like them. In that, we are, at best, close approximations, but never achieving true replication either in body or mind. I suggest that we take the “MTF” out of our lexicon. What we are is FM’s. Feminine men. Until we die. Embrace it. We are a new creature.